


The Tea Party

by Gamewizard2008



Series: Kids Next Door Gameverse [42]
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door, Hunter X Hunter, Little Witch Academia, One Piece, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Birthday, Candy, F/F, F/M, Giants, Magic, Magical Girls, Musicals, Pirates, Training, sweets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamewizard2008/pseuds/Gamewizard2008
Summary: Story 8 of the Newborn Saga, Part 1 of the Emperor Prequels, also called theSweetopia Arc. The Linlin Family is gathering for Queen Sherbet's birthday party. However, Her Majesty pays a surprising visit to Luna Nova Academy, in search of one Atsuko Kagari. Meanwhile, Cheren Uno is visited by a legendary Drill Sergeant from the Hyrule KND, by the name of Biscuit Krueger.





	1. The Tale of Princess Sherbet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how a sweet little girl became a giant and sailed the stars as a Candy Pirate.

**Welcome to the first prequel to _Pirate Wars_ , the start of a short story series that feature the Four Pirate Emperors. This story will feature “Great Grandma” Sherry Linlin as we begin a charming fairytale about family, friendship, and sweetness. :)**

****

**_

Chapter 1: The Tale of Princess Sherbet

_**

****

**Planet Earth; about 5,000 years ago**

_“Big Brother… are we gonna be okay?” spoke the small, round girl in fear._

_“Yes, Sherry. I promise the demons aren’t gonna get us. We just have to be happy.” replied the older boy, hugging her in comfort as a single candle provided them warmth and light. “Demons hate happiness.”_

_“I don’t think I can be happy, Brother.”_

_“Just remember the Fairy Sisters, Sherry. If you keep smiling, the fairies will come to see us. They’ll make everything better.”_

_“The fairies are gonna come?”_

_“Yes, Sherry. We’ll get to see the fairies and the mermaids and even the angels, too. And they’ll make everything better.”_

After the Demon Wars have reached their climax, and King Malladus had been sealed beneath the earth again, the humans were suffering under the terror of Titans. These Titans looked like oversized, naked humans, and all they sought was to throw humans into their massive mouths. The blood of unfortunate morsels dripped from their mouths, yet it was never enough to fuel their lust. The merpeople, Nimbi, Minish, and Galactic Kids Next Doors were desperately trying to slay every Titan that shook the landscape.

“Dimentia, some of these Titans are children!” Numbuh Infinity told his Supreme Leader. “Should we really be hurting them?”

“Jirachi can’t change them back with his magic. Whatever these demons did, it was too strong. Sorry, Jeremy, but we can’t have another disease on our hands.”

The truth was, all these horrid Titans were humans, captured and experimented on by the demons. While they didn’t discriminate between kids and adults, they found that children made much more suitable subjects for the Gigantification disease. “Watch out!” Gabe yelled, seeing a smallish, round Titan with pink hair charging their way. “Here comes another one!”

 _“HUMAN FLEEEESH!”_ cried the round giant, capturing fleeing kids in her gawking mouth like Pac-Man eating ghosts. _“HUMAN FLEEEEESH!”_

“Hey, since we’re aliens, you think she’ll ignore us?” Gabe asked.

“Just kill her, you idiot!” Dimentia shouted.

“NO, DON’T!” A 10-year-old boy with light-brown hair ran up to the Titan.

“Where are you going, Carl?!” Dimentia yelled.

“SHERRY!” Carl yelled at the Titan, stopping once he was close. “It’s me, Sherry! It’s your brother, Carl!”

_“Huuuumaaaaan…”_

“He’s going to get killed!” Dimentia grit her teeth.

“No, she won’t! I-I know you won’t, Sherry…” Carl slowly approached the beast. “Not if you want to see the Fairy Sisters. They’re here, Sherry. The Fairy Sisters came here to help us. They destroyed all those nasty demons.”

 _“Fleeeeeeessssshhhh…”_ Her mouth was drooling and eyes watering. Another tasty morsel was willingly within her radius.

“You remember, Sherry… I always hugged you close… and read you that story… I read you a bunch of stories… of the angels, the mermaids, and the little people… and now they’re all here… Our dreams are coming true…”

_“Flesh…Flesh… … … … Big Brother…”_

Dimentia and her cohorts cocked a brow. Sherry’s eyes seemed to change. Slowly, the Titan reached her right hand and grabbed her brother. _“Carl…Carl…”_ She lifted him to her rounded face.

“Yes, Sherry… it’s me.” He lightly patted her nose. “It’s your big brother.”

“…” Sherry lightly pressed him to her nose as Carl hugged. “Hi, Carl…”

“He… Did he actually tame her?” Infinity asked.

A human girl approached them curiously, wondering why the Titan wasn’t eating him. …Sherry glanced down at her, snatched the girl, and bit her head off. “SHERRY!”

“Want a bite, Carl?” Sherry offered the rest of the body.

“Sherry, you need to stop! Humans aren’t food!”

“But they taste so good… and I’m so hungry. Flesh…flesh…”

“Face it, Carl, she’s beyond saving.” Dimentia told him. “Even if she won’t eat you, she may never go back to how she was.”

“There has to be a way!” Carl said as Sherry ate the rest of the girl’s body. “What if…What if we fed her something even tastier? I read stories about entire landscapes that were made of candy. What if these places were actually real?”

“Eh, it wouldn’t hurt to find out.” Gabe shrugged.

Carl and Sherry rode the GKND’s ship and were taken to a mountain of ice cream. Inside an ancient temple, there lay a body of golden ice cream. The second Sherry sunk her teeth into the substance, she was in euphoria. “DELICIOOOOUUUUS!” The five-year-old Titan wolfed the entire thing up in seconds.

“Hey, we wanted a taste, too!” Gabe shouted.

“It’s okay.” Carl replied awkwardly. “At least this should give her a different appetite.”

“Ahhh… Hey, Carl… what was I doing before?” Sherry turned to her brother in confusion. “What’s this red stuff on my face? Is it jelly?”

“It’s, eh… It’s nothing, Sherry.”

Dimentia exchanged a glance with her Wisps. If this young girl realized she had been eating people, she could be devastated… but how long could they go before she found out?

…

“Look, Sherry! These are all the people that helped us beat Malladus!” Before them were kids from numerous races. “Those fish people are the mermaids we read about! And those guys with wings are the Nimbi! And those little people are Minish, and those even littler things are Pikmin! And these flying colorful things are called Wisps.”

“We’re not all mermaids!” a merboy yelled.

“What about that weird one?” Sherry asked, pointing at the floating jester with a black and white face.

“My name is Dimentia, and I’m a Zathurian.”

“Carl never told me about Zathrians or Lisps.”

“Well, there weren’t any books about them.” Carl chuckled. “There’s probably tons of other people we never met before.”

“Do they have more candy?!”

“Probably! In fact, I bet they have a whole world of candy!”

“A whole world of candy?!”

“Yep! And maybe one day, we’ll go and find it!”

The GKND went to Mars and brought them a Crystal Marshmallow. Hatching the marshmallow was very dangerous and difficult, but its luscious taste was worth it. Sherry tried all sorts of sweets, from Oceanic fruits, Sun Cream from Buttermilk Building, a Rainbow Lollipop from Skypia, and a magic bunny turned to chocolate inside a volcano. There was even an entire island made of sweets with mountainous cakes!

“CHERRYYYYYY!” Sherry was now munching on a massive red fruit that was larger than her. “This cherry is so biiiig! I love big cherry! Cherryyyyyy!”

“Man, I knew you Minish were good farmers, but how do you make a cherry that big?!” Carl asked.

“We just know our fruit.” Malarko replied casually, the Minish Leader folding hands behind his head. “It’s a shame we can’t use our dust to make her smaller.”

“Yeah, even the Nimbis’ apples don’t work. Whatever the demons filled her with, it was strong.”

The KNDs were joyed at seeing Sherry’s euphoric expression each time she ate, slowly forgetting that she was ever a monster. The mermaids went to the trouble of designing a lovely pink dress for the big ball of fluff, making her look like a giant princess.

“So, Cherry,” Carl began, “are you ready to go see the Fairy Sisters?!”

“YEEEAAAH! MAGIC!” Her eyes grew into giant hearts.

The Fairy Sisters hosted a beautiful magic show for the operatives, which seemed to take Sherry’s breath away just as well as the sweets. Mavis used her illusory lightbending to make unicorns and Pegasi scamper about the field, made suns, clouds, and rainbows dance in the sky, and giant trees came to offer Sherry flowers. As Sherry took a whiff of the flowers, they dissolved into particles and flowed into her nose.

“Remember, everyone: as long as you have courage and determination, all your dreams can come true!” Princess Mavis exclaimed, drawing a rainbow with her wand. “Believe in yourself and you can do anything!”

…

“Carl, I miss Mom and Dad.” Sherry spoke sadly, hugging Carl to her belly.

“I miss ’em, too… but look on the bright side, Sherry. We have so many new friends now! They’re our new family.”

“But they’re not brothers and sisters.”

“Sherry, just because someone isn’t related to you, it doesn’t mean they aren’t your family. And hey, nothing says ‘family’ like coming to our favorite sister’s birthday party!”

“Who’s that?”

“Eh, you’ll find out in a few months.”

It was learned, by some miracle, all of the extravagant candies Sherry had eaten had been reformed. Carl decided to take some operatives on a voyage to find them all again, along with new ones such as Magic Caramels and Licorice Stalks. The older brother began to create a recipe, mixing all these wondrous ingredients into a cake more delicious than anything in the universe.

 _“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHERRY!”_ All her friends were there to celebrate her 6th birthday. “The first piece goes to you! We made this cake extra gihugic so there’s plenty for you and us!”

“CAAAAKE!” Sherry charged up and gobbled the first chunk of the colossal pastry. …All of a sudden, she was awash in more joy and love than she ever felt before. No words could describe how amazing the feeling was on her tongue. “CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!” More and more of the pastry was quickly consumed by her watering mouth.

“Sherry, slow down! Leave some for the rest of us!”

“CAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEE!” The child’s body began to shine, her skin and flesh morphing into candy itself.

“Was it really a good idea to bake all those things in one cake?!” a mermaid asked.

“I don’t think so, anymore!”

“CAAAAAKE! MORE CAAAAAAAAKE!” The Titan began to consume the ground of Candied Island.

“SHERRY, STOP! Can you hear me?! SHERRY!”

_Who can take the sunshiiiine? Sprinkle it with dewwwww…_

Sherry’s soul had been uplifted to a paradise more beautiful than Candied Island. There were so many cakes, dancing and pleading Sherry to devour them. And that’s exactly what she did. So many happy pastries were vanishing down her throat, and all her tastebuds were dancing.

“SHERRY, YOU’RE EATING THEM!” The Nimbi and merkids were trying to restrain the monster, but she grabbed and wolfed them down. “SHERRY, PLEASE! STOP!”

Suddenly, Sherry was struck by pink lightning, but it had no effect. The Titan turned to Dimentia, and the colorful alien looked like another luscious sweet. “Caaaaake…” Sherry slowly stomped up to the spacebender, prompting Dimentia to seal her in a Space Block and blow her up.

“What are you doing?!” Carl cried. “She’s my sister!”

“She’s even worse than she was before! She isn’t listening to you anymore, we have no choice but to—AAAH!” Sherry jumped out of the smoke and grabbed Dimentia in both hands.

“Sherry, no!”

In a desperate move, Dimentia warped the Titan off her, and Sherry landed in the sea. The High Supreme Leader spotted one of their saucers and flew into it. “DON’T!” Carl tried to run onto the ship, but was restrained by Gabe and Jeremy. “She’s my sister! I’m sure we can save her, there’s gotta be a way!”

“I can’t take the chance! I’m ending her disease before it’s too late!” Dimentia flew the saucer to the sky, performed a U-turn, and drove directly to where the bubbles were coming from.

“SHERRYYYYYY!” The ship crashed into the sea, ramming the young Titan and pushing her away from the island and further into the depths. Carl watched as Dimentia warped above him. “SHERRY!” Carl rushed to one of the merkid ships-

Dimentia zapped him with a Starburst and knocked him out. “It’s been done.” she stated firmly. “There’s no point saving her. Even if you could… it’s best to just let her drown.” She turned to the remaining merkids and said, “Let’s return to his homeland. We have another ship there.”

Little did they know that, while the saucer had crushed little Sherry, a pink bubble of psychic energy could be seen glowing beneath the vessel. Sherry was safe inside it. Long after everyone left, the little giant marched her way back up the shore. Still coated with a candy body, she searched around. “Big Brother? Carl? Demtia? Where’d everyone go? I wanted ta eat some more with them…” The child fell on her back, gazing at the sun. “I’m lonely… Hi, Mr. Sun. Will you be my friend? Please, Mr. Sun…”

The sun seemed to move around in circles and lower down to Earth. Her face in awe, she watched as the sun grew a face. “Hi, Sherry!”

“Mr. Sun! Is it really you?!”

“It sure is me! Mr. Sun!”

“I’ll call you Prometheus!”

“Oh, well that’s fine, too. So, do ya like to play games, Sherry?”

“Let’s play Tag! I can’t play Tag with the other kids. I squish them.” She frowned sadly.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m made of fire and Psychic Chi! I can’t be squished!”

“Yay!”

However, within an hour of playing with a sun, the weather became too hot. “Haaaaah… it’s hooooot… I want the clouds to come… where are you, clouds… come cool me down…”

Then, a shade fell over the young Titan. She looked up, seeing a big, fluffy white cloud. “Hey, who’re you?!” Prometheus asked. “Get outta my way!”

“Hi, Sherry.” The cloud formed a face and a hat. “My name is Mr. Cloud. I’m here to cool you down.”

“Hi, Mr. Cloud! I’ll call you Zeus!”

“For a little girl, you really like Greek mythology.”

“Carl read me stories. Can we play more games?”

“Sure, Cherry! We can play games forever!”

Sherry spent the next several years playing with her new friends and exploring Candied Island. There was an unusual chamber with a stone block with strange writing, hidden within a complex cavern within Whole Cake Mountain. As Sherry grew older, she learned to practice with her psychic powers. She would form bubbles around herself and explore under the sugary ocean. They discovered a strange ship crashed within the sand, so she used her Titan strength to push it back to shore.

“Look what I found!”

“My, what an interesting fish.” Zeus said.

“It’s not a fish, silly, it’s a ship!” Prometheus replied.

“It’s like what the aliens had!” Sherry beamed. “They musta left it here. Maybe we should return it.”

The Titan could barely fit inside the saucer. Zeus observed the controls and began to push buttons with his stubby cloud arms. “There has to be some way to make this fly. Oh! Here we go!”

Before they knew it, the saucer was uplifting to the sky. Zeus got the hang of steering for a bit before flying even higher, and the ship sealed itself as they left the atmosphere. “The aliens gotta be around here somewhere.”

“I’m sure we’ll find them.” Zeus replied hopefully. “Maybe we can go faster. This button looks promising.” He pushed the hyperspace button.

After an undefined long time of flying, they eventually found their way to an alien planet. “CANDYYYYYY!” By this time, Sherry had grown unbearably hungry, the 10-year-old now rampaging through an unsuspecting town of yellow-skinned aliens. “CANDYYYYY!”

“Sherry, please!” Zeus bit her hair and tried to hold her back. “These weird people aren’t candy! Stop eating them, they’re trying to hit you!”

“CANDYYYYY!” Sherry barreled through the hail of bullets and grabbed the offensive citizens off the ground to munch them up.

The massacre was watched by a duo of pirates via telescopes. “Look at that beast! Is she an Amazon or something?”

“I dunno, but she’s tearin’ up that town like it’s nothing. …She’d be awful handy to have with us.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“She’s screaming ‘Candy,’ isn’t she?! Maybe if we give her some, she’ll listen to us! And maybe we can use her to get more…”

“CANDYYYYYY-ah? Candy?” A small ship hovered overhead and poured gallons of candy down. “CANDYYYYYY!” She gobbled it all up in seconds.

“I hope ya like it!” one of the pirates said. “That’s some of the tastiest candy on the planet!”

“Hey, you must be aliens!” Sherry faced them with a crescent grin. “Can you help me find Demtia?”

“Demtia? Er, of course we can! We’ll search the whole cosmos until we find him…her…whatever! And maybe we’ll pick up a few more tasty candies along the way, aye?” The pirate held up a list. “Eh, but first, how’s about we find ya a nice dress? That’n looks a bit too small for ya…”

And so, Sherry and her new friends visited planet after planet, decimating countless citizens and pillaging whatever exotic sweets they had to offer. “’Guess they’re not in this town!” the pirates cheered, chugging down green sodas. “Maybe we’ll have better luck in the next one!”

A few years later, a 13-year-old Sherry was bathing in a pool of chocolate, while 20 other pirates were relaxing on the shore and drinking soda. “Ah, it’s a Candy Pirate’s life for me!”

“Yo ho ho and a BOTTLE of gum!”

“And all thanks to our big, fluffy marshmallow!” proclaimed the captain. “You’re our little miracle, Sherby!”

“I’m a miracle?”

“Ya sure are! Why, keep this up and we’ll have ALL the candy in the universe!”

“All the candy… the universe… ahhh…” Sherry gazed up at the sky in a dreamy fashion. The universe was such a marvelous place, with so many sweet candies and fun people. It made Sherry sad… that _he_ couldn’t be here. “I miss my brother.”

“Eh? Ye have a brother?”

“Is he a giant like you?”

“No, Big Brother is little. He and the mermaids and angels and little people helped beat King Malladus. He said they were all family. I didn’t get it because we didn’t have a family. Not after our parents were killed by Malladus. I wonder… if Big Brother is lonely.”

“Well, what planet does he live on?”

“I dunno. But I wanna find him again. And I wanna bring him a present. Maybe…Maybe I’ll bring an even bigger family. How do you make families?”

“Where to begin explainin’… y’see, when a man and woman love each other, they-”

“Don’t go tellin’ ’er that!” A pirate bonked his mate in the head. “She’s still a young’un! We’ll wait until she’s 19 or somethin’.”

Six more years passed, and the pirates finally decided it was time to tell Sherry about the beauties of intercourse. It was then Sherry could follow her next goal in life: returning to her brother with the best family he could ask for.

 _“Waaaaaah! Waaaaaah!”_ A 30-year-old Sherry had just given birth to a Goomba.

“It’s a boy!” the pirates declared.

“Aye, that makes her 26th child! I don’t know any beast what can reproduce like her!”

“Big Brother’s gonna be so happy! I think I have the biggest family in the whole universe!”

“Sherry, where do ya suppose we’re gonna keep all these young’uns? Our ships are running out of room, and we don’t ’ave enough candy to feed them all!”

“Oh, that’s easy. We’re all gonna live on the Candy Planet my brother read me about! Now, let’s find more people to have babies with!”

As the pirates continued raiding and terrorizing towns, Sherry captured more and more men for, what the pirates referred to as, her “multiracial sex dungeon.” A Glomourian, a Rito, a brave little Kateenian, Sherry continued to produce more babies, and the pirates had to invade more military bases to procure ships to carry them all. All the babies inherited Sherry’s Candy Virus, and because of this, it seemed as if the giant had given birth to a brand new species altogether. Furthermore, she was so powerful that she was made the captain of the ever-growing band of space pirates, now named the Linlin Pirates after her mother, and Sherry became an intergalactic criminal, worth roughly 83 billion.

“YOU!” Sherry shouted at a body of brown smoke. “You’re a creature I’ve never seen before! Give me a child!”

The body of smoke seemed to face at no one, and he remarked with a mischievous smile, “Well, no use turning down free candy! Huhuhuhahahaha!”

**Four months later**

The unstoppable giant who had consumed hundreds of towns, destroyed several fortresses, and produced more children than any known beast in the cosmos, now lay on her deathbed. The 65-year-old giant had contacted a disease more deadly than the two she already had, and her sugar-coated body was slowly rotting away. “Please don’t leave us, Sherry!” the pirates cried. “There’s so many candies we haven’t found, yet! There’s so much we haven’t seen!”

“MAMAAAAAA!” her children were crying tears of jelly. “Don’t die, Mama! Don’t diiiiieeeee!”

_“Ch…Children… Please… find Carl… Tell him… I’ve created the most beautiful family… the most powerful family… and tell him we will keep growing… We will find the paradise… where everyone can be family…”_

Her children grew up and continued their mother’s legacy. Centuries passed, millenniums, and her family divided into multiple branches. The children mated with races of all kinds, ensuring that one day, everyone could be part of the Linlin Family. Descendants of the Linlin Clan were defined by the Candy Virus still present in their veins, as well as Sherry’s Gigantism, for some of Sherry’s grandchildren were born quite large.

One of the family’s branches succeeded in finding Planet Earth, and that branch became known as the Core Family. It would create a tradition of finding the Eight Sugary Wonders and recreating the wondrous cake that was designed by Sherry’s brother. Some branches of the family abandoned their roots as pirates and settled down with members of their own race. The Candy Virus slowly became less noticeable, but it remained within the family’s genes, and signs of the virus still existed.

“GIVE ME PUDDING!” screamed Lala Stork as Bartie struggled to restrain her sister. “You promised pudding two hours ago! I’M HUNGRY!”

“OW!” She bit Bartie in the arm. “I’m sure Mom will be home in a few minutes, just calm down!”

…

“Coffee coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee, COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE!” Cuppa Joe was speeding through a grocery store, destroying aisle after aisle. “WHERE IS THE BLASTED STARBUCKS?!”

“It’s right behind you!” yelled a bagger.

“Oh, thank you. COFFEEEEE!”

…

“SPINACH DONUTS!” screamed Gramma Stuffum, wolfing down all the donuts in a pastry shop. “VHERE ARE ZE SPINACH DONUTS?!”

“W-W-W-We don’t have those, Ma’am!”

“Give me ze spinach donuts or Gramma will inflate your body with SHEEP BONES!”

…

“FRUIT TAAAAAAARTS!” Jasminka Antonenko was bound by chains as Amanda and Constanze were trying to pull her back. “You said they had fruit taaaaarts!”

“Jasminka, I’m sorry, it was just a rumor I heard!” Akko shouted. “Look, we’ll go out and buy you some! Diana, can’t you just magic some up?!”

“You can’t just create food out of thin air, it’s part of the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of magic. You would need to summon them from somewhere else, and that would be illegal-”

“FRUIT TAAAAAAAARRRRRTS!”

“Forget the law, just GET SOME!” Hannah panicked, she and Barbara hiding behind Diana.

“Before she eats us!”

…

MaKayla King was sound asleep in her room. As her arm hung over the bed, Lola Stork creaked open her door and approached her with ravenous eyes. “MaKayla’s blood… MaKayla’s blood… MaKayla’s blood…”

_“OUCH! GOD DAMMIT, LOLA!”_

But even as some members divided from the family, the Linlins vowed that their ancestor would return. Technology and sorcery would evolve to where they would finally find a way to revive Queen Sherry, and show her the paradise they had discovered.

**Present era; close to Glacia**

“CLIFFSICLLLLLLLES!” Queen Sherry furiously banged on the massive door to her quarters. “CLIFFSICLLLLLES!”

“Please calm down, Your Majesty.” Zeus pled. “Minister Goomnut, how long until we get to Glacia?!”

“We’re entering the atmosphere now!” replied a Goomba that was shaped like a chestnut. “Ugh, damn that Buu, having to ask about Planet Freakin’ Glacia. This is seriously going to compromise our voyage to Avalar!”

 _“CLIFFSICLLLLLES!”_ The flying galleon known as the _Queen Mama Chanter_ was sailing toward a colossal cliff, whose frosty red exterior greatly contrasted with Glacia’s fields of white. _“CLIFFSICLLLLLES!”_ Queen Sherry rode her trusty raincloud, Zeus across the frosty fields.

“Oh, no! The Kids Next Door are already on us!” Prometheus panicked as icicle ships were flying their direction.

 _“Concentrate all fire on the giant lady riding a cloud! That’s not a sentence you hear everyday, so make it count!”_ Icicles flew toward the Titan like missiles, but they were easily melted by Prometheus’s flames.

“SUN VOLLEY!” The queen jumped and bashed the sun like a volleyball, destroying three ships while the remaining two sped after the Titan. Sherry hissed and threw tiny psychic balls at the ships, and the operatives were frightened when their controls grew faces.

_“Eject button~ Eject button~”_

_“Autopilot~ Autopilot~”_

_“WAAAAAAH!”_ The Glacian operatives inevitably crashed.

“There it is!” Sherry exclaimed with madness in her eyes. “THE GLACIAN CLIFFSICLE!” The queen jumped off her cloud and crashed on the frozen ground before the great red cliffs.

“Legend has it,” Prometheus began with a smile, “the Cliffsicles migrate around the continent for years before finally melting under the perfect sunspot. Too bad they never counted on a migrating sun. Haaaaaah…” He ignited himself as the cliffs emitted steam.

The great cherry cliffs melted and washed Sherry away in a great stream of red. “MAAAAAA mamaaaaaaa!” She stretched her gawking mouth and swallowed drums worth of juice. “Cherry popsicles! My absolute 12th favorite sweet!”

“Hey, Mama, wasn’t there a town back there?” Zeus asked.

“Oh, they’ll be alright. …Hang on, what are we even doing out here?!” Sherry asked, casually floating by some floating, unconscious yeti. “Goomnut!” Her minister had come down on a Lakitu cloud. “Why aren’t we on Avalar?!”

“We had a slight delay, Your Majesty.” Goomnut replied awkwardly.

“Buu want to play in juice, too!” yelled a pudgy pink alien with a purple cape and antenna. “Buice want juu!”

“No! We must get to Avalar before the Glacian KND have a chance to alert them! Nnngh, after this detour, I hope for their sake, those witches don’t disappoint Her Majesty’s expectations.”

“MONSTER!” The river of cherry was frozen solid, and Queen Sherry along with it. The subordinates looked as a massive yeti burst out of the ice. “You drowned my village! I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD ON MY WALL!” The yeti conjured a large red ice javelin and chucked it at the Titan, but Sherry broke free of the ice as the javelin shattered against her.

“DON’T RUIN MY CHERRY!” The queen scrambled to her feet and charged at the yeti. The beast panicked and unleashed more ice, but it was countered by Prometheus’s flames. The Titan leapt high over the flames and cracked the ice beside the yeti. “SOUL POCUS!”

“YAAAAAAHHH!” When Sherry swiped her hand through the yeti, she grabbed hold of a pink, spiritual mist.

“So, then… how many years of your life should I take?” Sherry asked with a wicked grin, the yeti choking as she clung to his soul. “Twenty…thirty… How long do yeti live, anyway?”

“Your Majesty, more ships are coming!” Goomnut shouted.

“Dammit! I’ll just take the whole lot.” Sherry yanked the soul out as the yeti dropped dead. “Buu, destroy them!” She jumped back onto Zeus and rode back to the ship.

“Okay, Grandma! SWEET BEAM!” Buu shot homing lasers from his antenna and struck the icicle ships, turning them into popsicles.

“What the heck?!” cried one of the Glacians. “I-I can’t steer the ship!”

“POPSICLLLLES!” Buu flew for the flying sweets with a stretched, gaping mouth.

“MAYDAY, MAYDAY! We’re about to be eaten by a pink creature! Call for backup, call for—” The line went dead, and there was static.

_“The number you have dialed has been eaten by a pink marshmallowy thing.”_

 

**FYI, adult Sherry is voiced by Ursula from _Little Mermaid_. And yes, those were the Titans from _Attack on Titan_ ; I think the original Big Mom was heavily inspired from those behemoths. Next time, we’ll meet our protagonists for this story, and we’ll get a look at Sweet Paradise!**


	2. Akko’s Biggest Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Queen Sherry arrives at Luna Nova, and is ecstatic to meet Akko for some reason. Meanwhile, Cheren Uno is visited by a Hyrulean Drill Sergeant.

**Time to introduce our side-plots!**

****

**_

Chapter 2: Akko’s Biggest Fan

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**Luna Nova Academy**

Classes had ended for today at Luna Nova, so now the students were engaged in either homework or leisurely activities. The academy’s protectors, Sector LN were resting under their favorite tree by the sports field.

“Mmmmm… Fruit tarts.” Jasminka’s mouth was a paradise as the sweets made the journey down her throat.

“Well, it costed a detention, but at least you’re happy, Jasminka.” Amanda told her.

“Honestly, didn’t your Negative teach you how to restrain yourself?” Diana asked.

“Hey, she’s been working real hard at restraining herself. And that’s why she deserves a reward.” Amanda scratched Jasminka’s belly, earning a giggle from her pudgy friend.

“Aaaaahh.” Atsuko Kagari sighed as she hugged a paper to her chest. “Can you believe the universe was almost destroyed again yesterday? Now the sky is bright and shiny!”

“What are you holding there?” Lotte asked.

“The KND’s Top 10 Sectors.” Akko showed them. “Can you believe we already made the #2 spot?! And it’s all thanks to you, Lotte! Picking up that World Ring was the best thing you’ve ever done! I mean, after bringing me to Luna Nova, of course.”

“Heheheh.” The spectacled witch flushed. “It’s a shame that I didn’t get to keep my powers, though. We could’ve spent the rest of our lives exploring our favorite stories.”

“Anyway, our next goal will be to surpass Sector SD!” Akko spoke rigorously. “Because once we do, THAT will be when we challenge Sector V to a duel!”

“Still on about that?” Diana asked.

“Of course I am! I’m excited to have my rematch with Sheila!”

“You know, why’s it always gotta be about fighting, anyway?” Amanda asked, one leg propped over the other. “Can’t we just have a good old-fashioned race or dance-off?”

“You’re not the one who gets to ask that question.” Hannah replied.

“Mmm.” Constanze nodded.

“So, let’s start thinking about what to do for our next mission.” Akko declared. “Maybe we’ll go explore another new planet.”

“Can we hold off on that?” Diana asked. “We just got done invading and escaping Bowser’s fortress. I’d like to allow more time to meditate before I decide to pursue danger.”

“You’re such a worry wart, Diana.”

Alas, little did the little witches know that danger was already on its way. The _Queen Mama Chanter_ was nearing Avalar’s atmosphere. “This should be the region where Luna Nova is located.” Goomnut explained.

“Ma ma ma… Good.” Great Grandma formed a crescent smirk, filled with excitement. “It’s time to see if that school is worth its weight!”

**Earth KND Moonbase**

“Numbuh 3621, the Hyrulean KND operatives are here.” Larry MayHence reported.

“Good.” Supreme Leader Cheren Uno stood up from his desk. “Time to see what this is all about.”

A ship designed with Hyrulean Sheikah Tech had made land inside the hangar. Gon Freecss and Killua Zoldyck were the first to step off, and were met by Panini Drilovsky. “Heya, Gon.” she greeted her Field Day partner.

“Hi, Panini! Long time, no see! Been up to anything?”

“Eh, nothing interesting. What about ya?”

“Oh, I suffered a terrible injury that was causing my body to decay, but thanks to Killua, I’m okay!”

“Oh… interesting.”

“So, who was this special Drill Sergeant that wanted to meet me?” Cheren asked, approaching the hangar.

Gon and Killua stepped aside as a girl entered the treehouse. She was 12 years old with golden hair in pigtails, and pink eyes that matched her dress and slip-on shoes. “Cheren McKenzie Uno, the holder of the Master Sword, is that correct?”

“Yep.” Cheren drew the Master Sword as proof. “I’m the one and only descendant of Link. …Er, uh, along with my two siblings and cousins, hehe. But I’M the one and only Master Sword wielder!”

“Hm! My name is Biscuit Krueger! Call me Bisky.” She offered a hand to him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Bisk-” The minute Cheren took the hand, he was blown 20 feet across the room.

“ARREST HER!” The guards drew their weapons and trained them on the Hyrulean.

“Ya got a lot of nerve attacking OUR leader!” Panini grabbed her by the shirt and lit her other fist aflame. “Who do you think you are?!”

“Relax, Panini, I’m not hurt.” Cheren assured as he helped himself up. “Heh, was that supposed to be some kind of playful shove?”

“More or less. So, could you please tell this rabbit girl to let me go?”

“You heard her, Panini.”

“But… sigh.” Panini complied, and Bisky walked around her and toward Cheren. The guards decided to lower their weapons.

“Mr. Uno, I’ve heard a great deal about you.” Bisky began with hands on her hips. “You defeated Majora, you defeated Viridi, King Andrew, and even Ganondorf. And since you are descended from the great Link, I shouldn’t be surprised. But now that I get a good look at you…” she touched a knuckle to her chin in thought, “I’m kind of disappointed.”

“Aw, I’m sorry.” Cheren frowned in sarcasm. “I’ll refund you the 0 Rupees you paid to watch me.”

“Very funny. But word on the Internet is that you’ve kinda been set back a few years. You have no bending and you lost three years worth of aging.”

“Well, it’s a lot better than dying.”

“Cheren, you’ve gotten a lot of popularity votes on the KND website, but in my personal opinion, you’re a cheater. A cheater that relies too much on power-ups to win battles. Now, I know you aren’t the only one—frankly, ALL the Firstborn Guardians are guilty of this sin. But be honest with me, if I decided to fight you right now, one-on-one, who do you think would win?”

“Look, where are you going with this?”

“You may have heard of me, but I’m a Drill Sergeant on my planet, as well as a Haki teacher.” Bisky smiled proudly. “I’m the one who taught Haki to Gon and Killua. And I’m sure your rabbit-haired friend can agree that I did a good job.” She turned to Panini, who growled in anger. “And that’s why I’m offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to train under me!”

“If I wanted to learn Haki, I’ll just ask Maddy to teach me.”

“UNACCEPTABLE!” Cheren jumped back in fright at her shout. “If you just let one of your friends teach you, you’ll never learn. You need a REAL teacher who can push you beyond your limits! My sources say that villain attacks on your organization have gotten worse. If that’s true, they’ll need more than a depowered Supreme Leader to survive. If you want to call yourself their leader, you need the willpower to prove it.”

“And what does it matter to you?”

“Well, I get the biggest reward of all: I get the honor of teaching Link’s latest incarnation the art of Haki!” Her eyes sparkled like stars. “Can you imagine how FAMOUS that’s gonna make me?!”

“Look, Princess,” Panini stated, “why don’t you take your Haki and head on back to Hyrule? Our Supreme Leader is fine just the way he is, and he’s already got someone to push him, and her name is-”

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

Panini gawked at his response. “Ya…Ya what?”

“I’ll let you teach me Haki, Biscuit.”

“It’s Bisky. But I’m glad you’ve accepted my proposal!” She offered a hand to him.

“You going to push me again?”

“No, not this time, just take it.”

Cheren giggled and took the hand. “YOWCH, YAAAH!” Bisky began squeezing it.

“Your first test is escaping my grip!”

“Hnnnnnnrrrrrrrr!” Cheren planted his feet against the girl and tried desperately to push himself away from her.

“Ten…nine…eight…seven… six five four three two one.” She let go, causing Cheren to fall. “You failed. Your make-up exam will be a thousand push-ups by tomorrow. When you’re done with those,” she slipped him a map, “come to this location on Planet Hyrule. I’ll be able to tell if you’re lying, by the way.” With a knowing smile, the sergeant returned to the hangar.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to her!” Gon assured, he and Killua following.

“I bet he’ll crack in a day.” Killua smirked.

“Eh, I’ll give it at least a week.”

**Luna Nova**

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!_

“Oh, man, an emergency?” Akko asked in annoyance as their wristwatches were beeping.

“Let’s hurry to the base and see what it is.” Diana suggested, getting up.

“Hold on, I hear something else.” Amanda said, looking up at the sky. “Look! It’s some kind of ship!” She took out some binoculars to better make out the vessel. “It looks like it’s got icing on it. And… there’s a face?!”

_“FLAGSHIP~ FLAGSHIP~ FLAGSHIP~”_

“What’s that noise?” Nearby students heard the singing and faced up in curiosity. The other operatives shared the binoculars to see it.

“Hey… that ship looks kinda familiar…” Akko said worriedly.

“It…It can’t be.” Lotte spoke in horror. “Are they the Big Mom Pirates?!”

“You think they found out about Diana?!” Amanda asked.

“Metamorphie Faciesse!” Akko zapped Diana with her wand and turned her into a yellow-green mouse. “You two, hide her!” She tossed Diana into Hannah and Barbara’s care, the former stuffing her friend in her shirt pocket.

“HEY, EVERYONE!” Wangari cried for all the students’ attention. “There’s a giant ship in the sky! It looks like it’s made of candy!”

“Don’t just stand around, everyone get back inside!” Professor Nelson ordered.

“Akko, I think we should go inside and call for backup!” Lotte suggested.

“Relax, Lotte!” Akko smirked, readying her wand. “We fought them off before, I’m prepared for ANYTHING they throw at us!”

At that moment, a shadowed mass leapt off the deck of the ship and was plummeting to the planet like a meteor. It felt as if the entire world shook when the Titaness queen set foot on the school grounds. In that brief moment when Sector LN was propelled into the air, time moved in slow-motion as the color drained from their bodies, fear and dread overcoming them.

 _In that moment…In that terrible moment… we knew… home was a pen… Humanity: cattle._ Lotte thought to herself.

As soon as they felt the world shake, the entire school was outside, gaping at the sight of the Titan. Queen Sherbet Linlin stretched back to full height, looking down at the grounded witches with Goomnut on her shoulder. “Sooooo…” Her enormous mouth stretched into a drooling grin, her narrowed eyes fixed on Akko. “ _You’re_ the little witch who smashed Jaune Pringle.”

“E-e-e-e-e-e-e…” Akko forced a weak smile, her pupils and irises shrinking beyond sight out of pure fear. “W-W-W-W-Well…” Her jittering arms crossed and pointed at the others. “They did most of the work.”

 _“YOU’RE SELLING US OUT?!”_ the seven screamed.

Sherry’s mighty hand SMASHED Akko into the ground. “AKKO!” Amanda screamed.

The fingers enveloped the Japanese witch, but rather than pick Akko off the ground, Great Grandma was holding a pink spirit shaped like Akko. The soul was attached to its body, Akko choking as Grandma squeezed it in her hand. Goomnut examined the witch. “Her name is Atsuko Kagari, Power Level 1,230. She is remarkably talented with Metamorphosis, but she suffers from Magic Deficiency, meaning her Magic Chi is sufficiently lower than average.”

“Magic Deficiency? MAH! I flew all this way for a broken witch?!”

Akko stopped struggling, perking up at this remark. “Who the HECK are you calling a broken witch?!” And she yanked her soul back with one vigorous tug. “For your information, I wield the most powerful wand in the country! See?!” She raised her prized possession skyward. “The Shiny Rod!”

 _Don’t just show that off, you idiot!_ Diana thought in panic.

“Its real name is the Claiomh Solais.” Goomnut examined. “One of the legendary Ancient Wands that few mages are able to wield. That’s quite honestly impressive.”

“Indeed.” The queen grinned. “A wand of THAT value shouldn’t belong to a waste of a witch.”

“QUIT CALLING ME A WASTE, YOU DUMB HAG!”

Almost everyone in the school wanted to die in that moment. _“You are truly hopeless… Miss Kagari…”_ Professor Badcock choked.

With a soulless expression, Queen Sherry snapped her right fingers. The sun, Prometheus grew into a raging flame as it brushed the school’s surrounding forest, transforming it into a burning wasteland. _“Now, what was that you said… My Dear?”_ The queen’s mad, grinning visage filled Akko’s heart with even more dread. The raincloud Zeus grew to block the sky, so only the flames highlighted Her Majesty’s form.

“Uhhhhh… w-w-what I meant to say was… What’s your favorite animal?”

Another unseen blow struck the school. Akko was digging her grave ever so deeper, and they had no intention of going with her. “My… favorite animal? …Well, since you asked, I’ve always been partial to the Pegasus!”

“Then get ready!” Akko grabbed her other wand and called, “Metamorphie Faciesse!” In a poof, she transformed into a winged horse.

Grandma stared at the mythical animal with interest. Everyone’s hearts raced anxiously, anticipating terrible consequences. “But that isn’t all! I’m also a Snow Hippo!” She poofed into a white, fluffy hippo whilst her witch hat became a top-hat. “Not good enough?! How ’bout an Ele-Peacock?!” She became an elephant with a colorful feathered tail, marching around her friends as she flaunted her tail and blew her trunk. However, her trunk inflated, and it morphed into the mouth of a toad with a crane’s legs. Akko stumbled on her legs due to the weight of her mouth, and when she fell over, she poofed into a starfish and got back to her feet as she started tap-dancing.

Queen Sherry watched with a blank expression. Minister Goomnut watched with a blank expression. Zeus and Prometheus were also blank. The Luna Nova students and staff were pretty sure they were going to die. Akko then changed back to normal, grabbed the Shiny Rod, and declared, “Arae Aryrha!” flashing as she turned into a centaur with pointy ears. “Now watch as I unleash the stars! Shiny ARC!” The Shiny Rod transformed into a bow and launched an arrow of light, piercing Zeus’s body and filling the sky with sparkles!

Once the show was over, Akko poofed back to normal and gasped for breath. “Sigh, and that was just a preview! Heh heh heh!”

Silence followed again. They were surprised that Akko wasn’t dead, yet. It was only a matter of time before the queen signed her sentence. “I KNEW IT!” the queen thundered, scaring Akko out of her cheeriness. With fury in her eyes, Grandma declared, “You are everything… that I HOPED you would be!” And Prometheus filled the sky with light as joy filled her heart.

 _“HUUUUUUH?!”_ The witches couldn’t take any more surprises.

“Eh… beg pardon?” Akko blinked.

“I have thousands of wizards and witches living on Sweetopia! My grandson, Buu is a genie, and yet, their forms of magic are so utterly BORING! None of them compared to the wonder and beauty of the Fairy Sisters. Their show took my breath away! But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t force them to come to my birthday party. They made Fairy World untraceable. I thought I would never find people to replace them… so I turned to YouTube and searched for magic shows held on Avalar. It was surprisingly difficult because magic was such a common art that magic shows were irrelevant. And then…”

_The queen had her head propped on her arm in boredom as Goomnut scrolled through videos. “The 1600th Samhain Festival: The Best One Yet.” This video depicted Akko, Lotte, and Sucy making a joke out of a hideous blob monster, and everyone laughing. It seemed to conclude when this beast transformed into a beautiful pink-haired princess. Queen Sherry found herself smiling during the show._

_“Missile Destroyed By Two Witches.” This video depicted Akko and Diana destroying a demonic missile and filling the sky with stars. It was so beautiful that Sherry desperately wished she were there._

_“For the first time iiiiiinnn foreveeeeerrrr!” Sherry was now watching the Disney commercial featuring Akko and Jasminka._

“I can’t describe it, but there was something… strange about you. Something that I enjoyed. And yet, I could barely find any information about you, other than that you were in Kids Next Door and you attended Luna Nova. I wanted control of this school in the hopes to breed witches of your caliber. And now that I’m seeing you in person… there’s no denying it!” With a massive grin, Sherry clasped Akko in both hands and raised her in the sky. “You have such a wonderful soul! It feels so warm and delightful! I can’t think of any other witch or wizard who even came CLOSE to dazzling me like the Fairy Sisters!”

“W-Wait a sec! Are you saying… you’re a fan… of _me_?”

“Am I dreaming?” Amanda asked. “Please tell me I’m dreaming.”

“Oh, I believe I am! You are a rare gem, a diamond in the rough!” The queen danced in place, whirling Akko around. “You’re everything I desire in a mage!”

“Heh heh heh heh! Oh, I’m nothing really, Your Majesty.” Akko blushed in earnest. “My friends are a lot better than I am.”

“NO WE’RE NOT!” Han and Barb cried in unison, preferring if this monster not be focused on them. “Atsuko’s the best, she’s a marvel at magic!”

“Pipe down, you two!” Diana ordered. “I mean, squeak!”

“Majin Buu!” Sherry released Akko and snapped her fingers. “The treats!”

The pudgy pink Majin lowered down. “Okay, Grandma! Bibidi Babidi BUU!” His antenna flashed as tables of cakes and sweets poofed around the Nine Witches.

“Congratulations!” exclaimed the queen with open arms. “You’ve earned last night’s leftovers!”

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Professor Finnelan said in royal shock.

“AKKO, DON’T!” Professor Ursula cried. “IT’S PROBABLY POISON!”

“MMMM, this cake is AMAZING!” Akko beamed as she wolfed down a chunk of chocolate cake, her face and hands a mess.

“I’m not detecting any poison in here!” Jasminka was delightfully gobbling a small mountain of donuts.

“Grrrrr! What are you trying to pull here?!” Amanda demanded.

“Her Majesty speaks in total earnest!” Goomnut replied. “You should be extremely grateful. The queen almost never leaves her palace, and she scarcely lets anyone eat her leftovers.”

Hannah exchanged a glance with Barbara before nervously reaching for a scone. _“Scone~ Scone~ Scone~”_ It grew a face and sang.

“EEEK!” The cowardly pair hugged each other.

“Might as well enjoy a meal while we still have life.” Sucy figured.

“So, does this mean you aren’t mad about me smashing that Jaune guy?” Akko asked, her friends panicking at her utter obliviousness.

“Oh, I don’t really care about that.” Sherry replied passively, picking her nose. “He’s a Mushroomian, they’re used to getting squished. Hah, I’ve lost count of how many times I stepped on Goomnut!”

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty.” The Goomba blushed.

As Zeus began to rain around the forest and put out the fire, Goomnut jumped off the queen and approached Jasminka. “Just as I suspected.” The girls turned to him curiously. “Jasminka Tea Antonenko gains strength from rapid consumption, but will perish of extreme hunger otherwise. Without doubt, you possess the Sweet Gene.”

“The Sweet Gene?” Amanda asked.

“It means that she is a descendant of Her Majesty as well. Signs of the Sweet Gene include pink hair, pink eyes, but most notably a constant craving. Of course, not all of us share the same qualities.”

 _He must be a Tattle user like Goombella._ Lotte thought.

“Ma ma ma! My pirates have raided many magic schools for their treasure, but Luna Nova is by far my FAVORITE!” Queen Sherry proclaimed. “I can’t wait until this school is under my control!”

“I know, isn’t this the most wonderful school ever?!” Akko exclaimed after swallowing her 4th cupcake.

“It CERTAINLY is! So wonderful that it will make the Fairy Sisters JEALOUS!” Sherry raised her fist as passion burned in her eyes, and Zeus struck lightning.

“Uh… Jealous?”

The queen whipped her finger at Akko and declared, “I finally get to have my 66th birthday in 5,000 years! On February 15, you will perform a magic show even GREATER than the Fairy Sisters’! They will RUE the day they refused to accept my invitation!”

“Hehehe… I’m flattered, Your Majesty, really, but I don’t think I’m anywhere near the Fairy Sisters’-”

 _“Magic show… or… **LIIIIIIIFE**?”_ Her eyes turned soulless as pink flames brimmed around her.

“Eh-! What I meant to say was… YEAH! Just wait, Your Majesty!” Akko spoke with enthusiasm. “I’ll give you a magic show so great, it’ll make the fairies CRY!”

“OH, I CAN’T WAIT! Buu, give them the invitations!”

The Majin cast more beams from his antennas, granting the eight witches letters with Big Mom’s seal. “These letters contain chi from Grandma’s soul.” Goomnut explained. “With them, you’ll be able to bypass the blockade surrounding Sweetopia. However, I think we deserve a share of soul in return, Your Majesty.”

“Ah, yes, of course. I believe I’ll take, ehhh…” Sherry wagged her finger as she examined the witches before setting her sights on- “YOU!” Hannah and Barbara.

“AAAAAHH!” The two screamed as pink mist emerged from their bodies and Queen Sherry grabbed it. The energy severed from their bodies as the queen slurped it into her mouth. Leaving Han and Barb pale-skinned, the queen leapt onto Zeus and returned to the sky. “I’ve taken 50 years of their lifespan. Give me a good show and maybe I’ll give it back. Alright, Buu, let’s find a town with lots of candy! See you girls in a month, ma ma ma!”

“Grandma, if Magic Girl gives a bad show, can Buu eats them?”

“Of course you can, Buu, they’ll make delightful sweets!”

“YAY! Witches get to be in Buu’s tummy!” The genie faced down at them with a sweet smile. “Make sure to eat lots and lots, witches! WHEEEEE!” And he flew after his queen.

Within the next few minutes, the _Queen Mama Chanter_ turned to the sky and zipped into hyperspace. A dead silence continued to shroud Luna Nova. “…Did that seriously just happen?” Amanda asked.

“YAAAAAY!” Akko cheered. “Luna Nova’s going to be okay! And all I have to do is create an even BIGGER magic show than the Fairy Sisters!”

It was no secret that everyone in the school lost all hope for survival. Some were whispering, “She’s only gonna kill Akko, right?” “I think it’s time to change schools.” “What’s going to happen to us?!”

 _“. . . . . . Oh God, I only have a month to live.”_ Akko broke down and started crying. _“This is the end! I’m going to die, I’m going to die! Sniff, sniff…”_

 **Florae Galaxy** (Play “Try Everything At the Buffet” by Thadudette!)

The _Queen Mama Chanter_ was sailing back into the atmosphere of its homeworld: a very vibrant and colorful planet that looked so sweet, you would just wanna eat it. This very planet was a realm that Candy Pirates sought for generations, and it was where the Linlin Family had long called home. Races from all across the universe were welcomed to this delicious paradise.

Queen Sherry jumped off the flagship and rode Zeus across the world. A song was echoing across the planet, sung by all the smiling, sentient objects born from the hearts of people, including Zeus and Prometheus their selves.

The seas were completely composed of soda, juice, milk, and a mixture of all beverages from across the world. As Queen Sherbet soared on her flying nimbus, she beamed at all the happy Fishmen, mermen, Zoras, Lochladies, and Drophyds that raced along the surface. The aquatic creatures gasped when a force lifted them up, for a group of giant merkids decided to carry them on their backs.

Queen Sherry flew to Ice Cream Mountain, watching as Anouki, Bumpties, Shiverians, Glacians, and yeti slid down the colorful slopes, in which the giant ones had a headstart. Zeus flew close to the sherbet mountain so Her Majesty could brush her great tongue against the surface, taking a big gulp. Now, she was soaring over Lollipop Forest, where a giant Mobian rabbit girl was hopping along happily, rode by a Kikwi, Deku, Korok, and a large Minish with smaller Minish. Past the forest was Jam City, where Toads, Duros, Glomourians, goblins, Koopas, and Hylians went about their jammin’ business!

Pop Gum Bob-ombs were working at the Big Mom bases, producing more cannon jawbreakers and Sweet Bills by the hour. The Nimbi, Rito, Majins, and wizards were flying happily amongst the Cotton Clouds, in which Her Majesty swooped by and bit off a chunk of a singing cloud. People were diving into the great Flurp Falls, waterfalls composed of all kinds of Flurp! When people sought knowledge, they went to visit the Smartie Library, which offered Smarties to increase their brainpower; a much splendid treat for the Terachnoids, Kateenians, and robots (whom were programmed with tastebuds).

Of course, not all of this wondrous land was free: Liquor Island was strictly prohibited for kids under 21, as ordered by Minister Pawtucket Pat. As for the adults, the Chumba-Wumbas would happily serve them all the wine they pleased! There was so much love, variety, and diversity that Great Grandma couldn’t help but dance! From the chocolate volcanoes, the Caramel Canyons, Donut Towers, to even her Whole Cake Chateau! There were so many wonderful sweets to go around!

But who said only sweets made up Sweetopia? There was just as much fun taking place in Meatropolis, where millions relished in organically produced burgers, steaks, and sausages. Milky Heights was toured by all who sought the excitement of pizza pools, milk fountains, and cheese canyons. There were forests and jungles made of fruits and vegetables, though it would be a stretch to say they were as fresh as the ones in Flora. Regardless, there was surely food to fit anyone’s diet! It was truly a paradise where everyone could be happy!

**Avalar; Buttertown**

Citizens ran in fear as Rango sent his saws to chase them. Harriet threw bombs with her ponytails and destroyed several buildings while Spewart melted them with his poison. Six Sky Chomps were hauling the landmark of town, the Butterbeer Tower, with their chains, adding more and more force before the tower was ripped out of the ground. Madame Broode told her Broodals it was time to leave, so they rushed to return to their wedding ships.

**Flora; Maple Grove**

Majin Buu flew headfirst into a fleet of flying Kikwi craft, turning hundreds into delectable candies. Five giant Kikwis leapt from the ground to stab the fluffy Majin with spears, but Buu felt no pain as he zapped the warriors with magic lightning. “Buu tired of playing. Buu take your syrup now.” His ship, the _Marshmallow Majin_ , began slurping syrup up from the forest via a powerful vacuum. The ship was pink with inflatable marshmallows at its base, and a figurehead that depicted Buu’s sweet face.

_

Sweet Commander of the Breakfast Division  
Minister of Eggs  
MAJIN BUU

_

**Hyrule; Sweikah Mountain**

The Sweikah were a sub-race of Sheikah with pink hair. The shadowed guards of the sacred temple were being felled one by one by an unknown assassin. As soon as Hisoka Morow was at the temple entrance, Sweikah rushed him. His arms stretched like gum as he sliced the ninjas with bladed cards.

Outside, a hundred Sheikah Guardians were surrounding the commander, a green-haired woman in white clothing, cape, and a mask. The woman transformed into a massive sphinx, enduring the Guardians’ lasers as she sliced them all with her claws, leaving them as nothing more than pieces of scrap. Her ship, the _Ivory Castle_ , bore the figurehead of a sphinx, was ivory-colored, and the cabin looked like a castle.

_

Sweet Commander of the Dinner Division  
Minister of Beans  
CASSIOPEA JADES

_

**Mushroom World; Bubblaine**

The Cheep Cheeps and Bubblainians were drunk and dizzy, due to their entire coast having become infected with alcohol. This left no opposition for the Chumba-Wumbas to slurp as much Sparkle Fizz into their containers as they pleased. An orange-haired man with a top-hat designed like a beer can twirled his cane and tipped his hat with a smile. His ship, the _Drunken Clam_ , whose figurehead resembled a clam with dizzy eyes, and had pipes of beer flowing around it, apparently serving as the ship’s gas, returned to the sky with its engines burning.

_

Sweet Commander of the Supper Division  
Minister of Beer  
PAWTUCKET PAT

_

**Mobius; Red Mountain**

A horde of Gorons were rolling against a horde of Mobian hedgehogs, and the stone beings easily bowled over the animals. These Gorons were chocolate-colored and had cake-shaped heads. “You lesser animals are NOTHING before my Pound Cake Platoon!” declared General Tsao, a Cucco Rito in samurai armor. “Red Mountain’s meat will be ours before long, Lord Taco.”

“Bueno!” Lord Taco was a giant Tostarenan; a humanoid with a macabre skull head, spinning flower eyes, a sombrero fit with hot sauce bottles, and a cape that looked like a taco. His ship, the _Gran Picante_ , fittingly looked like a giant taco, with churro cannons. He was swinging churro maracas and dancing. “Nothing spicier than molten magma! Nothing make us sweatier! We gonna dance ’til our bones break, amigo!”

_

Sweet Commander of the Lunch Division  
Minister of Spices  
ERNESTO TACO

_

**Sweetopia**

A ship was approaching the atmosphere of Sweetopia. A coughdrop vessel approached it as the face peeped into the window. The guests presented their invitations, and when the ships felt Great Grandma’s soul radiating from it, they moved aside to allow entry.

The ship made land in Whole Cake Capital. A group consisting of Gramma Stuffum, Cuppa Joe, Mother Mae-Eye, Mr. Jelly (without his Knightbrace disguise), Lunch Lady, and their underlings stepped off to observe the singing capital.

Inside of a singing church, people were happily stepping up to the preacher, a pink female Boo. The Boo was pulling small soul balls from their hearts and placing them in a basket. In return, the Nimbi guards gave them a blood-red candy.

As the world of objects were concluding their song, Queen Sherry returned to her throne. The pink Priestess Boos flew up to her with baskets of souls, and the queen delightfully slurped them into her nose with one great whiff. She lovingly touched a hand to her diamond heart, which was warmed by today’s collection of souls. And yet, none of them felt as warm as the little witch’s soul. She couldn’t wait for her birthday.

Another ship made land, and Lala Stork stepped off. The three-eyed girl turned to her family and said with a sweet smile, “Welcome to Sweetopia!”

 

**Hisoka and Bisky are from _Hunter X Hunter_ like Gon and Killua, and she was foreshadowed in _World Rings_ if you recall. Pawtucket Pat is from _Family Guy_ , Cassiopea is from _Ni no Kuni_ , and Buu is from _Dragon Ball Z_. Next time, we’re going to explore Sweetopia a bit more!**


	3. Mission: Meet the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lala Stork gives her family a tour of Sweetopia's Fryburg, where they meet Hisoka and their "big" cousin, Sasha Blouse. Meanwhile, Cheren Uno begins his training and Akko Kagari is struggling to come up with a plan.

**Any scene that includes the Big Mom Pirates makes me incredibly hungry, and this story is no exception. XD**

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Chapter 3: Mission: Meet the Family

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**Sweetopia**

“I don’t believe this place! This is a nightmare!” Mr. Jelly said as the Brotherhooders explored the town of Whole Cake. “We need to get these people to the Dentist Planet pronto!”

“What I can’t believe is that you’re actually RELATED to that hag.” Cuppa Joe replied. “Then again, you do go a little crazy at the sound of taffy.”

“T-T-T-T-T-T-TAFFY?!” The dentist panicked.

“CHEW IT!” Lunch Lady shoved a steak into his mouth. “It’s a damn good thing we’re all related, because this is the closest the Brotherhood will come to setting foot on this planet!”

“Ixnay on the hotherbood.” Joe replied. “As long as we’re here, let’s collect as much info on this queen as we can. My only concern is if KND operatives will be there, too.”

Meanwhile, Lala Stork rented a Lakitu Tour Cloud. She, her brother Bartie, his wife Virginia, and their kids Terry and Lola rode the cloud across Fryburg, a town of French fry buildings. “Fryburg is merely a small, salty piece of paradise!” Lala began, using a microphone for effect. “As you can plainly see, every object and piece of land on Sweetopia is edible. Anything can fill your tummy on this planet, therefore nobody goes hungry. Technology and electrical items are baked with dough used for Electro Cookies, popular pastries for Birkan Nimbi. For currency, we have Chocolate Coins wrapped in either gold, bronze, or platinum foil, depending on their taste. The more valuable coins or items are, the tastier they are, but then you won’t have them.”

“Why would we do that when we can eat anything else?” Lola asked.

“Everybody has unique tastes, Lola.” Lala smiled, winking her forehead eye.

“Is that why you pirates still steal candy from everywhere else?” Terry asked smugly.

“But of course! Every candy in every country or world has its own exotic taste and flavor. And although you can eat anything here, most of the landscape tastes awful with everyone’s feet marching over it, and the fact that this planet is millions of years old. Food tastes a lot better when it’s cooked by hand or by oven.”

 _“POTATOOOEEES!”_ The five whipped to their left as a giant girl tore the roof off a restaurant. The 18-year-old giant had light-gold eyes and brown hair in a ponytail, along with a green sweater, black pants with a silver belt, a brown jacket with Big Mom’s Jolly Roger, and brown boots. As madness filled her eyes, she dug her hand into the restaurant, grabbing a handful of screaming potatoes and throwing them into her mouth. As she munched them into mush, she mumbled, “These aren’t Sweikah Potatoes. NONE of these are Sweikah Potatoes.” After taking a big swallow, she rose to full height and bellowed, “WHEN CAN I HAVE MY SWEIKAH POTATOOOEEEEES?!”

“Oh, don’t mind her.” Lala said. “She’s our cousin, Sasha Blouse. She has food cravings like the rest of us, but she’s like a big sister to everyone here! She’s also an Amazon, so she’s good with a sword.”

“She’s also kinda destroying the town like a Lego set.” Lola remarked.

“Like a big sister would!” Virginia beamed.

Ignoring the rampaging giant in the background, the Tour Cloud flew over a church. “For generations, people honored and worshipped Great Grandma like a goddess, praying that one day, she could walk upon their world. Scientists developed special candies infused with Bang Gas that were designed to help their bodies grow; Gigantification, as you could guess.”

“Hold on, that sounds like the same crap Caesar Clown was trying to feed kids!” Terry remembered.

“It certainly is!” Lala grinned. “Who do you think gave him the materials? Gigantification has been a topic of interest for scientists for years, based off the horrid experiments the demons used to perform on children in days past. Only, remove the part with turning them to flesh-eating monsters and make them competent soldiers for battle. The Linlin Family was especially fixated on the project due to their ancestor’s origins. And although we’re not all related, nearly everyone on this planet possesses candy in their veins. We find that it helps us adapt with Gigantification much better.”

“You mean you actually want to be a giant?” Bartie asked.

“Well, it sure would’ve benefited me when I was little! Besides, it’s what Her Majesty wishes for everyone. She wishes for all her family and subjects to grow closer to her, not just in size, but in spirit. …Which brings us to a rather new phase of our religion. You see, Queen Sherry was revived with the heart of Pink Diamond from Planet Emera, and our Gem crewmen explained to us how it worked. Pink Diamond was able to take peoples’ souls and spread them to objects. She could swallow whole souls or pieces of souls, but doing so would reduce a person’s lifespan.”

“Well, that isn’t twisted at all.” Virginia remarked.

“And with her power, Queen Sherry is able to conjure spirits of Psychic Chi, and they would work to collect Pieces of Soul from everyone every week. People lose one day of life force every week, and it all goes directly to Her Majesty, who has since grown ever so closer to her subjects. However, if people refuse to pay, then they must be banished from the world. Sadly, some people were frightened by this new custom, and so they fled.”

“Can’t really say that I blame them.” Terry said.

“So, Pudding, I see you brought some fresh meat.” The family about-faced, shocked that a pink-haired man with a slender, muscular physique showed up on the cloud.

“Oh, Hisoka. I didn’t expect you back so soon.” Lala replied with furrowed eyes.

“We caught wind of a crisis in Fryburg. Figured it was Potato Girl. While I let Cassiopea handle this, I figured I would come meet the new members of the family.” Hisoka approached the kids, bending over them with a seductive smile. “Mmm, a vampire. You’ll fit right in.” he said to Lola. “And as for you… well, you look rather average.” he said to Terry.

“Who the frick are you, anyway?”

“Why, I’m your big cousin, Hisoka!” The circus man playfully pinched Terry’s cheek. “More specifically, the kind of cousin that shoves you to the ground and twists his knuckles into your skull.”

“Okay, buddy, you can stop touching my son now.” Virginia gripped his right arm and tried to pull it away. “W-What the-?!” She realized her fingers were stuck to his skin like glue.

Hisoka whipped around and wrapped his left arm around Ginny’s body, his fingers still glued to Terry’s cheek. “I ate the Gum-Gum Fruit, sweetheart. I’m like that annoying piece of gum you just can’t get off your shoe.” He blew a bubblegum and popped it. The carnie flipped off the cloud with his extended arms whirling and he SLAMMED them against the salty road. Terry began bleeding from the head as Hisoka lifted him up. “And not to rub salt in your wound, but if you’re going to live here, you’ll need to look the part.” He wiped the blood off with his finger.

Terry’s shadow, Tael struggled to pull his master away, but he was bound to Hisoka via his stretched, gummy skin. “Who said I want to live here?! I’m coming to your damn birthday party and letting that be the end of it!”

“Are you really certain, boy?” Hisoka blew his gum again. “Grandma would be heartbroken if you don’t stick around. And you don’t want to-” He was suddenly SQUISHED under a giant boot, freeing Terry.

“Cousin Lala, do you have any Sweikah Potatoes?!” Sasha asked, her face level with the Tour Cloud. The Stork Family had full view of her manic eyes. “Lady Pea said she would be home HOURS ago!”

“Calm down, Silly Sasha!” a little girl’s voice called. “We have a potato right here!” Sasha looked up behind her, and her mouth stretched wide. The _Ivory Castle_ was holding a giant dark-pink potato by some rope, and it was steaming. “We just had to have Cousin Taco cook it.” said an 8-year-old girl with green hair and a white dress.

In a moment, Sasha plopped her rear on the road and shook the town, sitting cross-legged as she feasted on the potato in her arms. Lala decided to land the cloud as the five Storks stood before the Amazon. “Sasha, I’d like you to meet my family! This is my brother Bartie, Virginia, Lola, and Terry.”

“Oh, so these are the vampire kids!” Sasha said through chews before swallowing a piece. “They’re so cute! Hey, my name’s Sasha. You want some of my potato?”

“Your brain is a potato.” Hisoka replied, smooshed against the sole of her boot.

“Stop being a couch potato and get your butt up!” He was approached by the little green-haired girl.

“Whatever you say, Miss Pea.” Hisoka forced his sticky body off the shoe and reformed his dimensions.

“Who’s this little girl?” Terry asked.

“Duh, she’s Commander Cassiopea!” Sasha replied. “’Course, we just call her Pea. She’s our little cutie!”

“I like to collect flowers and make masks!” Pea beamed. “What do you like to do?”

“I like blood.” Lola replied simply.

“Why would they let a kid be a commander?” Terry asked.

“Why would they let kids run a whole organization?” Pea asked with hands on hips. “We children are much smarter than adults, you should know.”

“You bet we are!” Sasha cheered, grabbing Terry and Lola in either hand and raising them high. “KIDS FOREVER! WOOT, WOOT!”

“But you’re an adult.” The twins chorused.

“And hey, don’t worry about that Hisoka creep.” Sasha held them closer to her face and winked. “I’ll straighten him out for ya if he gives you any more trouble.”

“You’re like the best cousin ever!” Lola cheered.

“I hate family gatherings.” Hisoka sighed, walking away as Sasha and the Storks stuck tongues at him. Pea skipped alongside the Carnian.

“Didja get the blood?” Pea asked.

“Yes, it’s right here.” Hisoka held up a vial of blood. “Are you really sure this will be enough?”

“We can always get more blood! Easy-peasy!”

**Planet Hyrule; Hebra Mountains**

There is a rumor that the Hyrule Kids Next Door has had the lowest passing rate for cadets for two years. This was because, in the history of all KNDs, the Hyruleans had one of the cruelest known Drill Sergeants. Her training was so intense that the Supreme Leader was forced to dismiss her. Unfortunately, other sectors feared she was too good for them, and she refused to accept a meager desk or spy job. So, she assumed the role of an Advanced Training Sergeant, one who very few operatives would dare approach.

And today, Cheren Uno was one of those reckless operatives, having ventured to the depths of frigid Hebra Mountains. He and Panini approached Bisky and Gon, seeing a wood cabin behind them, along with a gaping hole. Bisky walked over and started sniffing Cheren’s body, much to his confusion. “Wow, you actually did 1,000 push-ups. There may be hope for you yet, Cheren.”

“After all I’ve been through, I’m not scared of a little training regimen.” Cheren replied confidently.

“Alright, then off with your shirt.”

“Huh?!”

“Do you want to get stronger or not?” she asked with hands on her hips. “Some stories say that Link climbed mountains without a shirt OR shoes. But we’ll get to that later.”

“Oh, fine.” Cheren ditched his shirt.

Armed with only a bow, Bisky led him to the edge of the chasm. “First, we’ll try to spark your Observation Haki. Do you see those targets?”

They were overlooking a chasm with several targets, glowing blue with Sheikah symbols. “So, you just want me to shoot targets? I’m guessing I’ll be blindfolded.”

“We can save that for later.” Bisky smiled proudly. “For now, I want you to jump off the cliff and shoot four targets as you’re falling.”

“Heheheh! C’mon, Bisky, no person can do that.”

As a response, the sergeant took his bow and leapt off the cliff, and Cheren barely had time to blink before she sniped the targets, then splashed in the water below. In a few seconds, Bisky hopped her way back up the cliff. “Cheren, you have so many operatives that have done things no other people can do. As their Supreme Leader, you have to be able to keep up with them.”

“I get it, but I can’t think of any operative of mine who could do that.”

“Well, you’ll be the first, won’t you? But before you actually begin, I want you to make a promise to me. Only when you make this promise can I truly believe you are committed to my training.”

“What kind of promise?”

“If you are not able to pass my training, you must leave the Kids Next Door.”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me. The KND have no room for someone that’ll hold them back. If you can’t make that promise, then I’m throwing you off this mountain right now.”

“You have no right askin’ him ANYTHING!” Panini gripped her by the collar again. “YOU’RE the one that came wantin’ to train him, YOU’RE the one who just thinks she knows him when YOU haven’t even EXISTED before-”

“Calm down, Panini.” Cheren ordered. “Sigh… it’s a promise.” He took the bow back.

“Good!” Bisky smiled encouragingly, raising a hand. “Now, BREAK a leg!” She gave him a playful smack on the shoulder—Cheren screamed, the force sending him down the chasm. “Oh, and if you fall down, just climb back up! Now, while you’re doing that, I need some tea.” And she casually walked back into her fire-lit cabin.

After a few minutes, Cheren was able to climb out of the pit, his soggy body nearly freezing. Cheren pulled back his bow, jumped off, loosed an arrow—he missed the target and splashed. He climbed his way out again, stretched his limbs, and leapt off—he pulled the bow too fast and the arrow fell short by the time he splashed in the water.

Panini and Gon watched as Cheren climbed out and tried again four more times. “Boy, I don’t envy your leader, Panini. Just watching him is making my old scars itch!” Gon laughed.

Panini said nothing and walked up to Bisky’s cabin, Gon following out of curiosity. She found the sergeant happily sitting by the fire and sipping tea. “Biscuit…”

“I told you, it’s Bisky!”

“Right, ahem. Look, as Cheren’s friend, Ay’m just a little worried about his health, and I feel like… well, he might not be ready for this type of training.”

“This boy is a ruby waiting to be polished!” Bisky proclaimed with glimmering eyes. “And I’m going to tap into that hidden potential!”

“Ay’m just saying, most people start with something basic!”

“He should be beyond the basics at this point.”

“Ya know, Ay’ve been training him before YOUR planet even exist-”

“So, why didn’t he go to you instead?” This question threw Panini off. “All I’m hearing is that you don’t want this training for him. You want him to go back to your old ways. But at that rate, he’ll never catch up. Because no matter how strict you think you are, you’ll always be worried for him. Because you love him.”

Bisky marched up and jabbed a finger at Panini’s nose. “And he knows this. That’s why he chose me. So, if you care about him, you’ll let me do my thing. ’kay?” And with another jab, she pushed Panini into Gon as they fell out of the cabin.

They heard another splash and waited for Cheren to climb out of the hole again. Already bruises and cuts were present on his form, but he was readying another arrow. “Aw, don’t worry, Panini.” Gon said as he helped her up. “Bisky doesn’t compare people to gems unless she has a real good feeling about them.” When Cheren jumped off, he was able to strike a target, but splashed before he could get the next arrow. “Haha! Same time tomorrow, I bet he’ll be able to hit five!”

**Luna Nova; Akko’s Room**

_To my friend, Lotte Jansson, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. I leave to you my Chariot Cards. And to Jasminka, you have been a very kind and caring friend, so I leave to you all my lunch money. And Diana, I didn’t know how to bring this up, but I’ve always-_

“Get out of there, Akko.” Diana ordered.

“YIPE!” The girl sprung up, curled under her blanket like a turtle. “I wasn’t writing anything!”

“Akko, we need you to calm down and focus. I admit, we dug ourselves into a hole, but if we use our heads, we can think of a way to keep us and Luna Nova safe.”

“Yeah, so make another Happy Fun-Time Project already.” Sucy suggested, experimenting with mushrooms at her desk.

“As if Akko could actually put on a better show than the Fairy Sisters.” Hannah retorted.

“You should’ve just let yourself get eaten by that queen.” Barbara followed. “Now thanks to you, we lost 50 years of our life! We won’t even live to our early fifties! ! Oh God, I can already FEEL the wrinkles!”

“This isn’t the time to pin blame on one-another.” Diana stated. “If I’m being honest, we’re quite lucky that Great Grandma seems to be fond of Akko. Otherwise, she would’ve destroyed Luna Nova already. We’ve been given a chance to lead everyone to safety.”

“You’re right.” Lotte replied. “You put on a great show, Akko, but this is beyond our expertise.”

“Yeah…” Akko looked down reflectively. She felt so glad to have another fan, one who was moved by her magic. Yet, was it worth it?

_“Metamorphie Faciesse! Metamorphie Faciesse!” The 6-year-old whipped the wand over and over, but bore no results. “Nothing’s happening, Akko… What if I don’t have magic like you?”_

_“I didn’t really discover my magic until I was 14.” Akko replied. “But it didn’t stop me from trying! Still, it’s not a big deal if you don’t have magic. One day, you’ll find something you ARE good at and be the best you can be at it!”_

_“But I wanna be magic like you.”_

_“Well, then keep studying and practicing, and maybe you’ll find your magic! Just never forget to believe in yourself. Remember, Gabriel: believing in yourself is your magic!”_

_“Believing is my… magic?”_

_“Yep! Never forget that!”_

“…You know, what if I _could_ give Queen Sherry a show?” Akko asked.

“Are you insane?!” Barbara shouted.

“Just hear me out! Listen, it really sounds like she was inspired by me. And if she were, then… I would really hate to disappoint her.”

“It’s a trick, you idiot!” Amanda stated. “She’s obviously leading us into a trap!”

“If she wanted to kill us, she had the perfect chance to do so right there! She really wants me to do a show for her. And if I can make her happy enough, maybe she won’t hurt us.”

“Akko, she expects me to marry one of her grandchildren,” Diana recapped, “and there’s apparently someone filling in for me. What if she finds out this fact? She’ll attack Luna Nova either way. And even if the imposter marries the grandson, she can still take over the school.”

They heard a knock at the door. Akko went to answer it, finding Professor Ursula. “Hey, Akko. Just came to check up on you.”

“Thanks, Professor. We’re doing fine.”

“Okay. …Sigh, I’m really sorry this had to happen to you, Akko. We really don’t want you to feel bad.”

“Hola, Akko!” Their neighbor, Verde peeked in. She was a Spanish girl with green hair in pigtails and starry eyes. “How’s the magic show comin’?”

“I haven’t started, yet…”

“Yeah, I expected that. Just make sure to let them know that I was never close to you, we were just neighbors.”

“Verde, go back to your room.” Ursula ordered.

“Okay, I got more packing up to do. Say, I gotta make room in my pigtails, you guys want any of my stuff?” She casually took an electric piano and a ball-in-a-cup out of her pigtails.

“Mmm!” Constanze perked up at the piano.

“Back to your room!” Ursula shoved her away.

Akko glanced at her bed, seeing the party invitation. “But seriously, we are making evacuation plans.” Ursula told her. “Where will you go, Akko?”

“We aren’t going anywhere!” Akko stated firmly. “We ARE going to give Queen Sherry a good show! And the first thing I’m gonna do is head to Sweetopia and talk to her!”

“That’s the spirit, Akko wait, what?” Ursula’s nervous smile turned to shock.

“Yeah! I’ll visit Queen Sherry and determine what she likes! That way, I can be sure to give her a show she’ll never forget!”

“Hehehe… Seriously, Akko.”

“DIANA!” Wangari suddenly zipped up from the hall with a letter. “This letter came addressed to you! Oh, and I’ll miss you when you’re gone, Akko.” And she ran off.

“STOP DOUBTING ME!”

Diana picked up the letter and read it. “It’s from my family. They… oh, no!”

“What is it?” Amanda asked.

“It says the Big Mom Pirates are going to take them to Sweetopia in two days for a family dinner. They want them to meet Jaune Pringle. I already informed them of the impostor situation… but part of me feels I should attend somehow.”

“Then I guess we’re going to Sweetopia either way.” Amanda figured.

**Sweetopia; Fryburg**

“Ahhhhh. That potato was amazing.” Sasha sighed in relief, lying down outside the town with her legs arched up. “But now I don’t think I can move.”

“I can’t believe you actually finished the whole thing.” Lola said.

“Our family is capable of consuming large amounts.” Lala replied. “But it usually gets digested pretty quickly.”

“But that potato was stolen from somewhere, wasn’t it?” Bartie asked.

“It’s part of being pirates, Bartie. Besides, I heard the KND steal plenty of their materials, too.”

“Not in recent years!”

“It’s weird because I always thought Candy Pirates steal candy.” Virginia inquired.

“The Big Mom Pirates welcome all kinds of food into their tummies. Our Breakfast Division is assigned to steal breakfast foods like cereal or eggs, the Lunch Division steals things like pizza or burgers, Supper steals snacks like soda or chips, and Dinner steals soups, steak, or potatoes. And I’m part of the Dessert Division, which is run by the Core Linlin Family. Our commander used to be Charlotte Linlin.”

“The old Big Mom, you mean.” Terry replied.

“Yep. Until she and her old officers were beaten by Sector V. Still, they were just lucky to not have to go against the whole crew.”

“And how many are in the whole crew?”

“Too many for me to count.” Lala winked. “But if you feel like sticking around, you might get to meet the important ones.”

“We don’t see why not.” Bartie shrugged. “No point in a family vacation if we can’t meet the whole family.”

“Say, where are you guys staying, anyway?” Sasha asked.

“We were gonna stay at Aunt Lala’s house.” Lola replied. “Wanna tag along?!”

“Sounds good to me!”

“SWEET! Sleepover with Cousin Sasha!”

“What are you, crazy?!” Terry shouted.

“Relax, Ter, I’m sure we’ll find some boy cousins for you to paint nails with.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Terry flushed. _“Lola, they’re the Big Mom Pirates. Sooner or later, they’re gonna be our enemies.”_

“Yeah, but what if they’re not?” Lola whispered. “I mean, every family has members you like or don’t like. I think it’s kinda like that.”

“Just don’t get too close to them. This is a spy mission, remember?”

“Hey, what’re you whispering about?” Sasha asked, reaching her right hand to lightly pinch Terry’s head. “Come on, spill it!”

“Let me go!” Terry muffled through forced puckered lips, the family snickering.

Lala gasped when a ringing was heard, and she answered a chocolate bar cellphone. “Minister Goomnut? …Oh, is that so? Well, I’ll be sure to be there! ’kay, thanks! Bye!” She hung up. “Well, it sounds like my ‘fiancé’ finally wants to meet me.”

“Fiancé?” Bartie repeated. “Oh, that’s right, you said that Grandma arranged for you to be married.”

“Uh-huh. And in two days, Grandma is inviting us and other arranged couples to a dinner. Naturally, they’re expected to attend the Tea Party, too. This is what my fiancé looks like.” She showed them a picture.

The four’s jaws dropped at the sight of him: he was a round-headed skeleton with a spider-web tuxedo. “JACK SKELLINGTON?!”

They heard a loud rumbling. “Wellp, I’m hungry again.” Sasha said.

**Whole Cake Chateau**

_“Is it strawberry jam, or somebody’s blood? Can’t say I care either way! The Teeeaaa Party from Heeeell!”_

“Ma ma ma maaaaa!” Great Grandma’s Throne Room was always joyful with all her pastries singing in unison. “It’s wonderful being alive again! Before now, I had to rely on my spirit crewmen to give orders to my crew. Now I can finally see all my family, face-to-face! Including you… Augustus, liebling.”

She seemed to hold up a tattered doll by her grinning face, but any normal size being could tell it was a teenager: he was Captain of the Marzipan Pirates, Augustus Fizzuras. The Titan grandma gently petted his little blonde head. “Now, why were you with that Mandy brat when we first met, Augustus? Why were you fighting your family? More importantly, why have you been helping the Slag Pirates attack my crew’s bases for the last three years?”

“Because your insane granddaughter tried to turn Earth into a giant candy cluster! And I didn’t create this planet for you, I created it for ALL pirates!”

“MA MA MA! You were thinking of US when you ventured to New Galaxia, and you played your part PERFECTLY! You, Augustus, who took part in the rebirth of the universe, are living PROOF that the Linlins are immortal! I want you to be the symbol of our family! I mean, why would you abandon us for that amateur Mandy?!”

“I’m not working for Mandy, and I’m only allies with Slag. Otherwise, I’m the captain of my own crew.”

“Oh, that teeny-tiny crew of infants? When will you understand, Augustus, a man who belongs to no empire is nothing. One day, the Linlins will command everything, and you will either cling onto my gown or be snuffed out. I’ll ask one more time: return to my family! Let us catch up after years of separation!”

_“All the races come together! A land to be happy, forever and ever~”_

“The answer is ‘no,’ Grandma.” Augustus pulled out a lollipop from his collar and began to suck it. “I will leave this planet and return to my crew.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You’re coming to my party whether you want to or not! Ernesto, Pea!”

Augustus weakly twisted his head around to see a giant Tostarenan walk in, with the little girl riding his sombrero. “Grandma, is that Cousin Augsus?” Pea asked.

“Great, another one?” Augustus sighed, thinking of someone else who mispronounced his name.

“Play the song for him!” Grandma ordered.

“You heard him, Taco!” Pea beamed, pulling out a wooden ocarina.

_Do do do, do do do, doodle-doodle do, do do doot doot doooo… do doot doot dooooo…_

Pea played a rather fast, fun tone with her ocarina, with Taco dancing and shaking maracas to her rhythm. As music notes flowed out of the maracas, Augustus began to feel heavy, his vision swirling around. The music repeated, and the faces of Taco, Pea, and Grandma’s creepy grin flashed in his eyes, making the captain ever more dizzy. When Augustus finally lost consciousness, his body flashed, and they all watched as a mask fell on the floor before the queen’s feet.

Pea jumped down and walked over to pick up the mask. She smiled at it humorously: the mask resembled Augustus, frowning coolly and had a fake lollipop sticking out. “Ooooo. Cool mask.” Zeus said, looming over the child.

“Her music is so beautiful!” Prometheus beamed. “Kokiri like her always appreciate the classics.”

“Oi, I helped too, amigo!” Taco shouted. “She can do nothing without my musicbending, no? SIN MUSICA!” He danced.

“Keep that mask handy, Pea. We’ll mount it for everyone to see at my Tea Party. Also… did you get the blood?”

“Yes, we did, Gramma.”

“Perfect. Now, we just wait for Lala to do her part. Hopefully without complications.”

_“A beautiful show of magic and joy, to make the fairies cryyyyy! Or the witches, theeeey will diiiieeee~”_

 

**Sasha is from _Attack on Titan_ , because her character is totally befitting of a Linlin! Also, Tostarenans are from _Mario Odyssey_ , so look them up if you want a better visual on Taco. You should also look up the Kokiri from _Zelda_. ;) Heck, a character like Pea should be spurring numerous theories in your minds. ;)**


	4. Dinner At Grandma’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko and her friends go to visit Queen Sherry at her castle. On the same day, the queen is hosting a family dinner with her arranged couples.

**Some of Cheren’s training regimens are based off Link’s Champion Trials from _Breath of the Wild_.**

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Chapter 4: Dinner At Grandma’s

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****

**Hyrule; Hebra Mountains**

Gon had returned to his sector for the night, while Panini remained at Bisky’s cabin. It was past midnight and the vice-leader had fallen asleep. As Bisky enjoyed another cup of tea, she looked down to Cheren, who had just passed out after climbing out of the hole for the umpteenth time. After making sure Panini was fast asleep, the Drill Sergeant climbed down and approached Cheren. “I’ll give you credit: you didn’t stop trying once. Even after losing your bending, your three years of training have made you more durable and more determined. Hmm…”

Bisky lifted him over her shoulders and carried him up to the cabin. She set him by the fire to warm his frosted body, cooked up meat and fruit, and slipped them into his mouth while she helped him chew. “I have a reputation to keep up, so I can’t allow anyone to see me being so generous.” After feeding him, she began to clean the dirt off his body and rub medicine over his scratches. “But you are a mortal, Cheren. Like the rest of us, you need to eat, bathe, and sleep. Otherwise, your chi will deplete itself and your training will be pointless. I will admit, though… you being a normal human might make you a better leader than ever. Being able to survive with natural skills and strength can inspire people. …Of course, that will only be up to your performance.”

…

“Yaaaawn…” As soon as morning rose, Cheren stretched life back into his arms and legs. “Man, I feel great! I can’t believe I slept so—WEEEEEELLLL!” He walked off the cliff into the hole, making a great splash.

“Climb back up and give me 200 push-ups.” Bisky ordered, sitting on a diving platform while drinking tea.

**Sweetopia; Chocolatown**

Chocolatown was a town completely built with chocolate, from houses, roads, to fountains, and the water. The town had a mild chill so that the chocolate stayed hardened, and it was especially cold at night, with Ice Torches alit to provide light. Lala’s chocolate mansion was set on a hill east of town, and tonight, it was defined by a ponytailed giant sitting outside it.

“Check it out, guys!” Sasha grinned mischievously, sitting cross-legged as she dangled giant bags of chips and Pretzels in her hands. She was sitting outside a chocolate mansion while Terry and Lola stood on a balcony in their pajamas. “You wouldn’t think Amazonia would make good snacks, but they do. Nicked a bunch of them and made off scot free. Hope you ain’t watching your weight.”

“So you stole them, is that the deal?” Terry inquired.

“Man, loosen up. We’re pirates, it’s what we do.”

“You’re everything I aspire to be!” Lola gave thumbs-up.

“Yeah, but don’t expect me to sneak you into Liquor Island, though. Stupid Pawtucket doesn’t let in anyone under 21, even his own crewmen. Plus, his Chumba-Wumbas kick ya REALLY hard in the shin, even though they’re so tiny.” She rubbed her knee, which had become sore from the memory.

“Who’s Pawtucket, your boss or something?” Terry asked.

“Yep.” Sasha tore open a bag of potato chips and began to eat them. “He looks like a worm, but he’s a monster waterbender. To make it worse, he can turn any liquid into alcohol.”

“How is THAT possible?”

“Duh, he ate the Beer-Beer Fruit. And believe me, he hasn’t taken a good bath SINCE.” She waved a hand by her nose.

“Can he still get drunk?” Lola asked.

“Nope, not really. He wins a helluva lot of contests. Okay, now YOU gotta tell me about one of YOUR teammates!”

“Why the hell would we do that?!” Terry shouted.

“C’mon, don’t try to fool me.” Sasha leaned her head closer, smiling wryly. “You’re spying for the Kids Next Door, aren’t you?” she whispered. “I mean, we totally know you’re operatives.”

Terry fixed a glare on the giant. “Get ready for a fight, Lola.”

“Boy, I would cream you like a banana berry. Relax, I’m not gonna rat you out or anything. I really like you squirts! But hey, if you plan an invasion or something, I might have to attack you. Just sayin’.” She winked.

“Is she the coolest cousin ever or what?!” Lola beamed.

“Grrrr. I’m going inside. No point in socializing with the enemy.” With that, Terry was gone behind the chocolate door, the handle of which had been eaten off by Lola prior.

“He ain’t used to family gatherings, I take it?”

“Reunions have always been kinda tense for us.” Lola answered. “We either go to Nightmare Land and meet our jillion Nightmare relatives, and it’s always so loud and screamy that he just wants to go home. As for Dad’s family, they always kept talking about his missing sister, so it was pretty…pretty upsetting, pretty much.”

“Sigh… poor guy. No wonder he feels so uncomfortable here. Damn Hisoka’s fault…” Sasha glared in spite before sending another chip to be grinded into crumbs.

“Hey, you feel like coming to that dinner thing at the castle?”

“Ugh, hate to say it, but I can’t. Gonna be raiding salt on Secco for the next two days. But I’ll try to be back to you squirts as soon as I can!”

Terry returned to the guest room, where there was a Jell-O bed made for Lola and one for him. He plopped himself onto the bouncy red substance and lay his head in the marshmallow pillow. He heard a pair of footsteps walk in and set something on the nightstand. “Was it too cold for you? Hm hm, I made you some cocoa.” Aunt Lala said with a kind smile.

“Take it back, I’m going to sleep.”

“I know you’re technically in enemy territory, but you’d best behave when we go to meet Grandma. We are still family, after all.”

“Half the operatives I know are related to villains, and they barely think of them as family. I know you’re planning something.”

“Just because we’re on opposing sides, I don’t see why we couldn’t be friends. But I’ll give you time to get used to us.” She began to leave. “If you feel like cocoa, make sure to drink it soon. It’ll cool down quickly in this weather.” Her forehead eye winked as she closed the door, leaving her nephew in the dark.

Terry rolled over to stare at the steaming cup. Its smell was very alluring, and its steam made his eyes tired.

**Outside Sweetopia’s atmosphere; two days later**

Sector LN was steadily approaching the planet in their Stanship. Diana had turned into a mouse and was hiding in Hannah’s pocket, all the girls feeling nervous as they neared the candy-coated blockade. Their hearts raced as one of the ships flew over and peered into their window with its face. “Hey, you’re not one of our ships—blockade vessel~”

“We have invitations from Queen Sherry herself.” Akko stated, the eight raising their envelopes.

“Yeah, I can feel her soul-blockade vessel~” Apparently, the ship couldn’t resist singing its name. “I guess you can pass then-vessel~” With that, the fleet opened a gap, allowing the witches to sail to Sweetopia with no hassle.

“All those ships must have been given life by Sherry’s mysterious power.” Lotte observed. “But what kind of power is it?”

The witches landed the Stanship in a field outside Whole Cake Capital. The buildings were all designed like cakes, and they looked so real that Akko decided to bite off a chunk of the wall. “Euck. This cake tastes like it went stale a long time ago.”

“Akko, don’t just aimlessly eat things!” Diana Mouse shouted.

“Or at least not without the proper Taste Spell.” Jasminka said, casting a spell on the wall and ripping off another chunk to eat it. “Mmmmm. Banana-flavored.”

“So, what’s the plan, anyway?” Amanda asked. “How do we get in the castle?”

“We can always go knock on the front door.” Lotte answered earnestly.

“I know I’m supposed to be the spy, but I agree with Lotte.” Akko replied. “We don’t want to make her think we have any ill intent.”

“I wish I could join you inside the castle,” Diana said, “but I cannot risk being discovered by her guards. We will collect information from the townspeople. But if you can get inside… please be careful, Akko.”

“No worries, Diana!”

The witches crossed the candlelit bridge to Whole Cake Chateau, approaching the castle gates. Two Shy Guys dressed like chess pieces were guarding the gate. “My name is Atsuko Kagari. I was asked by Her Majesty to host a magic show at her party, so I would like to speak to her.”

“The queen is having dinner with important guests tonight. We cannot allow anyone to disrupt the-”

 _“KINDER…JOYYYYYYY!”_ The queen herself burst out of a high floor of the castle and crashed on the bridge, her eyes spinning insanely. _“LET’S DIG IN, FRIEEEEENDS!”_

“Prometheus, I told you not to turn on PBS Kids!” Zeus yelled as they flew after her.

“But _Magic School Bus_ was on; the one where they fly to the sun!”

 _“WO-O-O-O-O-OH! WO-O-O-O-O-OH!”_ Great Grandma charged into town and ripped off the roof of the Sweet Bank. _“Giiiiive meeeee KINDER EEEEEEEGGS!”_

The frightened Goblin bankers exchanged glances and pushed a button. A cannon emerged from behind the bank, locked onto Sherry, and fired chocolate Kinder Eggs like bullets into her gawking mouth. She compressed all the chocolate in her mouth and began chewing. “Mmmmnnn… Unborn Kinder Birds… a joy for my mouth. Ma ma maaaaaa…”

“Your Majesty! Queen Sherry!” The Titan viewed to her left, curious at the sight of a kangaroo with reindeer horns. “What do you think a Christmas Kangaroo has in its pouch?!” Akko asked. “A baby reindeer? Some toys? The correct answer is…”

“Pikachu.” Sucy peeped out of her pouch in a Pikachu form.

“Didn’t see that comin’, did ya?!”

A familiar silence resulted from this trick. “…Is she really serious?” Amanda asked.

“HAAAAA HA HAH!” The queen laughed out chocolate drops. “A reindeeroo giving birth to a Pikachu! Haha that’s PRICELESS!”

Akko poofed back to normal and greeted perkily, “Hello, Your Majesty! I wanted to talk to you about something, but the guards wouldn’t let us in.”

“Oh, they can suck on toothpaste. I’ll carry you in myself, my dear!”

 _“JUST LIKE THAT?!”_ screamed everyone.

“You can’t be serious, Your Majesty!” Goomnut shouted, floating by her on a Lakitu cloud. “Whatever reason you have for liking this girl,” the queen rolled her eyes, “you do realize they are Kids Next Do-” She smacked the Goomba across town.

“Don’t mind him. Come, to the castle! The younglings need someone to play with, anyway.”

**Whole Cake Chateau**

As Sector LN expected, almost everything in the castle, from halls to windows to furniture, was giant sized. Akko had the honor of riding Zeus, the witch hugging the fluffy cloud with a sweet smile, while the other five witches followed the Titan on foot. “I heard it was possible to bake a cake so big, you could live in it, but I’ve never seen it for myself.” Lotte thought aloud.

“It was prophesized that if I ever were revived, I would be a Titan as I was in the old days.” Sherry replied. “My crewmen forged this body from the corpses of Titans that escaped from Underworld Prison three years ago, fixed with the Sweet DNA from my descendants. Now then… here is the Kiddie Corn Playground!” The queen pushed open a giant door and led them inside.

This joyful, colorful room contained a giant playground with balls and toys, with kids of various sizes and races playing happily. “GRANDMA’S BAAAACK!” The kids happily scampered over.

“Hey Gramma, who’re the big kids?” asked a chubby Fishboy with an angry expression, indicating the witches. His name was Corlan. A little fairy girl in a pink dress stood in his hand.

“Are they our babysitters-soup?” asked a 6-year-old Twili girl with pink hair and swirly noodle designs on her shadow body. Her glowing yellow eyes complimented her cute smile. Her name was Soup.

“These lovely witches come from Avalar, and they’ll be your playmates today. Have fun with them, dearies!” The queen exited the room with Akko, sealing the door.

“Did she mean that in a good way or a bad way?” Amanda asked.

“Move aside, brats!” demanded a whiny voice. “I’M the only babysitter around here!”

The kids opened a path between them as a blue goblin boy with a yellow shirt marched out, accompanied by a black-haired Russian girl and a Mobian puppy in a purple jester’s outfit. “Now presenting the great Emperor Pilaf!” the dog exclaimed. “Heir to the Linlin Throne!”

“Oh, he’s a goblin!” Lotte recognized. “Like the ones we have at Luna Nova.”

“Heir to the throne?” Amanda cocked a brow. “What the frick is he on about?”

“It means that when Grandma dies, I’LL inherit the throne!” Pilaf proclaimed.

“So, are all of you Queen Sherry’s grandchildren, too?” Jasminka asked. “Hello, little ones. My name is Jasminka, and I’m your cousin! Would you like a chip?” She offered one of her Fuwas.

“Who you calling little ones?” asked a fat, giant Glomourian boy, named Glonnorobolomus (Glonno).

“Silly, she just means she’s older than us!” replied a same-sized, blue-haired Harnitan girl, whose name was Silla.

“I the talleth! I the talleth!” yelled a 3-year-old Legoan boy from atop a tower of letter blocks. His name was Jonny.

“I bets they can’t catch me!” yelled a magenta-haired robot girl, using rockets in her ankles to boost around the room. Her name was Sarborg.

“Don’t get the wrong idea.” Pilaf replied. “Not all of us are related. We’re the children of some of Grandma’s crewmen, and this castle acts as our daycare. Of course, this place also serves as a training dojo! And I, the great Pilaf, am their personal trainer!”

“Even though they always kick our butts.” the dog replied.

“QUIET, SHU!”

“And what about you?” Amanda asked with a raised brow. “Are you part of Grandma’s crew?”

“Of course I am! I work for the Dinner Division as a master thief.”

“We only rob small towns, though.” the girl noted.

“I’m taking away your rations for tonight, Mai.”

“You’re seriously supposed to be the heir?” Amanda asked with a wry smile. “You look like you can barely count to 10, let alone run a planet. Like, how well do you even know your own crewmen?”

 _You’re really gonna bait information out of him that way?_ Sucy thought.

“I know my crewmen VERY well, thank you for asking!”

“Yeah? Well, prove it.”

“Not so fast. Since you have the gall to doubt me, let’s play a little game: if you can defeat my classmates—I mean, my students here, then I will share with you my knowledge.”

“Oh, we couldn’t do that.” Lotte replied, blushing sheepishly. “You’re all so much younger than us, it wouldn’t be fair.”

“That problem can be easily fixed! Have a taste of my AGE CIRCLE!” Pilaf cupped his hands together and expanded a white, see-through energy bubble, encasing the five witches.

“WAH!” Amanda yelped, shrinking down.

“AAAH!” Lotte screamed.

“Huh?” Jasminka said.

“Uhh?” Constanze grunted. Sucy, meanwhile, remained stoic as their bodies were reduced to child size and their very clothes transformed.

Constanze was now wearing a pink dress and pigtails, and was still shorter than her friends. Amanda had on high-heel sandals and a silver dress, Lotte wore a green dress with no glasses, Sucy had on a black witch robe, and Jasminka had a sky-blue sleeveless shirt and blue shorts while her belly stuck out. “Hey! This is my dress from when I was five!” Lotte yelled in a high voice.

“Mother f***! We’re kids again!” Amanda yelled.

“I was given Dr. Clown’s Back-Back Fruit!” Pilaf explained. “I can reduce your ages by however number I please, and it even transforms your clothes to look like your old ones. But now that age is no longer an issue, let’s get down to tactics: BEAT THEM UP, KIDS!”

“Get them, Spoon-soup!” Soup unleashed her shadow, Spoon, to start kicking Lotte from multiple angles.

“The big’un smells yummy!” Corlan ran at Jasminka with malice.

“I’ll sprinkle her for you!” declared the fairy, Nati.

“I’ll smash the red one!” Glonno declared.

“Cannons, shoot ’em!” Jonny activated block cannons on his block tower.

“Yep, this sure takes me back.” Sucy said tonelessly, two of her front sharp teeth missing.

“Alright, you little brats! BRING IT ON!” exclaimed Amanda, kicking off her uncomfortable shoes.

**Throne Room**

As Akko stood before the Titan queen in the throne room, Her Majesty dug her hand into a bowl of sentient cinnamon rolls, melting with vanilla icing, and crushed them in her mouth. “Tonight, I am scheduled to have dinner with three arranged couples and their families, among them your friend, Diana. Of course, Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner mean nothing to me. The only time for me is Dessert, and that’s been the same even during my stay in the Spirit World.”

“The… Spirit World?” Akko asked curiously.

“You know, the place mortals go when they die.”

“Forgive me, Your Majesty, but according to the KND’s records and Avalar’s history… well, it didn’t sound like you would be allowed into Spirit World… theoretically.”

“Well, I guess your history is garbage, then. I was such a good little soul that the Firstborn, Mew personally granted me permission to the Spirit World himself. He even gave back my psychicbending!”

 _That’s very interesting…_ Akko could hardly believe such a ‘dangerous’ person was granted such a privilege.

“So, what did you need to talk to me about? Come to give me a little preview?”

“Oh, I would love to, but that would ruin the surprise, hehe!” Akko grinned.

 _The surprise attack, no doubt._ Goomnut thought, his body bandaged.

“Actually, I wanted to tell you—about the show… Well, in order to give you the best performance possible, I’ll need my whole team. And that includes Diana. So… is there any chance I could take Diana home with me to make a plan?”

“You’re an idiot if you think we’ll fall for tha-” Goomnut rebutted.

“I don’t see why not!” Sherry beamed. “As soon as dinner’s over, she can go back with you. Do whatever it takes to make the Fairy Sisters jealous!”

“Oh, thank you, Your Majesty!”

“With that said, of course… I expect your performance to be absolutely CAPTIVATING!” Pink flames brimmed around Her Highness, enveloping Akko in a terrifying aura. “Because if it isn’t, with the exceptions of Diana and Jasminka, I’ll have you all beheaded and mail your heads to the Fairy Sisters, with an angrily scrawled note that says, ‘THIS WAS _YOUR_ FAULT!’”

“Hehehe, no need to worry about that!” Akko waved her hands in panic, sweating rapidly. “I’m going to make a show you’ll never forget, you’ll see!”

 _They’re so obviously going to pull something at the party._ Goomnut furrowed his eyes. _The question is, what is it? Furthermore, why is Her Majesty buying into it? Does she already have a counterplan?_

“But could I ask you something else, Your Majesty? To be honest, I’ve never really seen a Fairy Sisters show myself. I’m curious… what was it like?”

The queen reached for a giant blue candycane and began to lick it dry. “Hmmmmnnnnn… that’s a good question. It was such a long time ago… hrrrmm… I GUESS I DON’T REMEMBER! MA MA MA MA!”

“Uck-!” Akko’s jaw dropped. “You…You don’t?”

“Though I remember there was a lot of color and flashy lights… oh, and it made me feel so wonderful just by watching it. Like all my woes just melted away.”

“I heard you were born around one of Malladus’s eras. That must’ve been a rough life, huh?”

“It was horrible at first… Those wretched demons captured me and injected me with drugs. But the next thing I remember, I was holding my brother in my hands, and everyone around me was smaller. But we played so many games and ate so many sweets…” Smiling from pleasant memories, she brushed her tongue across the candycane. “And they baked me an unbelievable cake… but after that, they were all gone. My brother, Demtia, and all the others…”

“I’m sorry to hear that…”

 _“Your Majesty, the guests have arrived.”_ The PA spoke. _“Should we begin setting up the table?”_

“Yes, go ahead. Goomnut, see to our guests.”

“Urgh… Yes, Your Majesty.” The Goomba begrudgingly exited the room, sparing one last suspicious glance at Akko.

**Landing Platform**

“Well, it seems our guests are arriving.” Lala said as three tart ships were making land on the platform. Mushroom Toads were stepping off the first craft, leading a cute, young couple: Princess Éclair, a girl with brownish-blonde hair with a chocolate dress, crown, and waffle braid, and Vick Chestnut, a mustached man with a chocolate shirt, hair, cape, gold pants, and a chestnut crown. “Vick is Minister Goomnut’s half-human son. Éclair is Princess of Mushroom’s Waffle Kingdom, so you can guess why Grandma wants it part of her empire.”

Some Hylian pirates were leading a family of three off the 2nd ship: Daryl Cavendish, a woman with a purple gown and blonde hair with green highlights, and her identical twin daughters, Maril and Merrill. “That’s the Cavendish Family. Their cousin is marrying Jaune Pringle. Heard they fund a magic school on Avalar. …And THAT must be…”

Bokoblin pirates led a skeleton with a spider-web tuxedo off the last ship. “Jack Skellington!” Lala joyfully ran up to embrace her groom-to-be in a hug. “It’s me, your lovely bride!”

“SOUL ROBBER!” Jack WHIPPED the floor before Lala, scaring her back. “Let me make this clear,” the Pumpkin King said with furrowed sockets, “I don’t care for you or ANY of these pirates. I’m only here because your queen threatened Sally. Hm?” Jack cocked a brow at seeing Virginia and her family behind her. “Strange. What would you four be doing here?”

“Hi, Jack.” Bartie greeted awkwardly. “This is Lala, my sister.”

“COOL!” Lola beamed. “That means Uncle Jack is gonna marry Aunt Lala! Now he’s really gonna be part of our family!”

“We have an hour before the dinner is ready.” Lala mentioned. “Shall we go wash up?”

“That won’t be necessary for me.” Jack stated, walking past them. “As soon as I’ve finished eating, I’m boarding the next ship out of here.”

“Well, now I see why you shouldn’t see the groom before the wedding.”

**Dining Room; an hour later**

A dining room for a giant queen would logically require a giant table, and several smaller tables were placed on it in-between the giant drinks and pastries. Daryl and her daughters were present, looking suspiciously at “Diana” and her fiancé, the orange-haired Mustachio, Jaune Pringle. _So, that’s the person masquerading as my niece. I admit, her disguise is impressive… but what is she even planning?_

“Uck, look at all these vomitrocious sweets.” Roger the Alien scoffed. “I’m gonna get, like, SO fat and my perfect figure will be ruined!”

“Ho ho, calm-a down, Diana.” Jaune put a gentle hand over ‘hers.’ “You-a get so sweaty when you’re agitated.”

“I get sweaty because I love you, my sexy Pringle.” Her eyes glowing pink, “Diana” embraced Jaune in a loving, sensual kiss, leaving the three Cavendishes in utter disgust.

_She doesn’t behave like Diana at all! At this rate, the Cavendish name will be ruined!_

“What’s taking so long, anyway?” Terry asked.

“Ghhhhrrrrr!” Wanting to know the answer himself, an angry Goomnut hopped off the table and marched to the throne room.

**Throne Room**

“No, I’m totally serious!” Akko exclaimed, munching a large blueberry muffin. “A WHOLE mountain made of poop! We went there on a mission and it was the absolute WORST thing! It got all up in my shoes and it was awful!”

“I can’t believe Avalar would have a place like that!” Sherry replied. “It’s so disgusting, I can’t possibly eat again!” …Regardless, she dug her hand into a bowl of boiled golden goose eggs and savored their godly taste.

“For some reason, Gruntilda purchased the territory, and I have no idea why. Some people just like wasting money.”

“YOUR MAJESTYYYYYY!” Goomnut charged into the chamber with furious eyes. “YOUR MAJESTY, dinner has been ready for over 10 minutes! We’re WAITING for you!”

“Silence, Goomnut, I’ll be down in a moment!” The queen stated as she stomped under a large faucet, turning it on as jelly and peanut butter poured into her throat.

“So, Your Majesty, if they made candy with Fairy Wrappers and it tasted really awful, would you still buy it?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Sherry proclaimed, whipping around as jam spilled from her mouth. “Nothing tastes too terrible for me! Ma ma ma!”

“I wish my tastebuds were as strong as yours! They made Chariot sweets back in the day, and they tasted awful! But I still made my parents buy ’em!”

“But if I had one bias, it would be against vegetables. Anything with vegetables feels sickening.”

“I can relate to that. Luna Nova gives us nothing but potatoes for lunch, and I never have money to buy anything else.”

“Well, I’ll just have Sasha demolish the whole lot of potatoes then! Ma ma ma!”

“Hahahaha! That would be sweet if you could do that!”

Mouth agape, Goomnut looked back and forth between them, astonished how they were carrying on like life-long friends. He glanced up at Zeus and Prometheus, who gave querying looks saying how even they were baffled. “Grrrrrrrr YOUR MAJESTY, OUR GUESTS ARE WAITING! ! Throw that little witch out the window and come join us!”

“Sigh… well, I can’t possibly pass up Tonio’s cooking. Join us, Akko!”

“Okay!”

“WHY IS SHE GETTING THE ROYAL TREATMENT?!” Goomnut nearly melted with anger.

In the dining room, the guests watched as the colossal doors opened, the room quaking as the Queen of Sweetopia finally stomped in. “Ma ma maaaaa! I’m so delighted all my future families-in-law could make it. By the way, an additional guest will be joining us this evening.”

“HEY, it’s Diana’s family!” Akko called from Sherry’s shoulder. “Yoohoo! Remember me, I’m Akko!”

“What the heck is SHE doing here?!” Maril hissed, the family internally panicking.

“This girl is Atsuko Kagari! She and her little team will be performing a magic show at my party! Oh, it’s going to be WONDERFUL!”

“It sure will! OOOO, look at the size of that pie!” Akko dove into a pool-sized blackberry pie.

 _“I’m a pie~ I’m a pie~ I’m a pie~ I’m a pie~ I’m a duuuhhh…”_ The sentient pie felt mushy in the brain as Akko devoured his insides.

 _“Who in their right mind would invite HER to dinner?!”_ Merrill whispered.

“My thoughts exactly…” Goomnut replied.

The queen took her seat and raised a giant smoothie. “So, let’s talk business.” And she took a sip.

“Right.” Jack agreed. “First order of business, it’s pointless to try and use me to take over Nightmare Land. My father will never welcome your rule and he will banish you all.”

“My sources say that your father is in a coma at the moment, along with his very _special_ little infant.”

“He will awaken, you can be sure of that.”

“Even if he does, I hear that the gods are no longer as powerful as they once were. Factor in the fact they can’t use full power on mortals, my spirit crewmen can make quick work of them. Face it, Skellington, the Big Mom Pirates will own Nightmare Enterprises, and we will decide who we sell to.”

“Now Grandma, no need to pressure him.” Lala said, leaning on Jack’s shoulder. “Listen, how about we have a talk after dinner, just the two of us?”

“I won’t buy into your tricks.”

“Hmmmmph…” Lala’s cheeks puffed.

“Then there is you, Princess Éclair.” Sherry faced the Waffle Princess. “All I desire is the wheat grown in your Waffle Fields, grown with the most quality Golden Syrup to produce some of the greatest pancakes known to mankind!” Her tongue drooled from the very thought of it. “And in return, we can guarantee protection from all other rogue Candy Pirates that lust after your luscious kingdom.”

“That sounds pretty fair to me.” Éclair smiled sweetly. “I admit I was a bit frightened about this, but Vick has been very kind to me.”

“Well, if I am to be married, I want to at least live happily with my bride-to-be.” The chestnut-clad human replied.

 _What’s interesting is that Vick hasn’t once used the Sweet Gene to brainwash Éclair. Their love actually seems genuine._ Goomnut thought.

“You know, Mushroom really is an amazing world.” Sherry reflected as she dipped giant muffins into a huge pot of honey, and savoring the heavenly taste. “My pirates robbed their world for generations and ravaged their food. So many amazing chefs and strong fighters. Sigh… I wanted to marry one of my children to Princess Peach 10 years ago, but Bowser’s troops kept stopping them. When I came back to life, I finally decided to go down to his castle and punish him myself…”

_“AAAGH!” The Koopa King socked Queen Sherry in the jaw with a Haki punch. Prometheus lunged at him with massive flames, but Bowser blew violet fire against him. “AAAAH! TOO HOT, TOO HOT!” The sun fled._

_Zeus struck lightning, but Bowser was unaffected as he leapt above Sherry and Ground Pounded her. He then picked the battered queen up by the neck. “Now listen, you… Peach is MY hoe! If I ever see your troops try to kidnap her again, I’m gonna fly to your planet and burn everything to a CRISP!”_

“Yeah, that Bowser guy’s a real ass.” Akko remarked while chewing a banana sponge cake, which was very squishy and lovely on the tongue. “You know we actually invaded his castle not too long ago.”

“HAAAH! You actually went up against that thing?!”

“Well, we didn’t actually fight him, but we mowed down a lot of his troops!”

“Sure you did, sweetheart.” Goomnut remarked.

“Hey, I could totally take down Bowser if I put my mind to it! Heck, I went toe-to-toe with Sheila Frantic.”

Zeus RUMBLED with lightning, Akko’s heart jumping from the sudden sound. _“You don’t mean Sheila Frantic, the Raccoon Pirate who killed my former heir, Charlotte, did you?…”_ Sherry asked, her eyes brimming with fury.

Akko was so scared that her soul was literally wiggling out of her body. “A-And I told her, th-the next time I saw her, I-I-I would cut off her neck and put her insides on my sandwich, hehe. . .”

“MA MA MA!” Joy returned to Her Highness’s heart. “You and I see eye-to-eye, Miss Kagari!”

“We sure do, hehehehehehe. . .” Her soul slowly returned to her body.

“Now, on to the Cavendish Family.” Sherry continued. “As you know, I plan to use Luna Nova to breed a new generation of witches, ones that will not only be of great service to the Linlin Pirates, but witches that can put a smile on my face like little Akko here!” The little witch grinned at the praise, while the Cavendishes looked with scorn. “However, I plan to eventually spread my empire to the kingdom of Appleton. Their namesake doesn’t fail them, for their apples are one of a kind. Yes, I think we can all be great friends, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps, Your Majesty,” Daryl replied, “but without an official Head of Cavendish, our political power is very limited. We cannot hold the ceremony for another few years, unfortunately.”

“So, _time_ is an issue, is it?” Sherry smirked. “Well, I’m sure we can work around that somehow.”

“Speaking of which, don’t you have anything more appetizing?” Merrill asked. “Your kind may be able to live off of junk food, but we have our bodies to worry about!”

“Cough, Merrill, please.” Daryl mumbled.

“My cousin is like a total slut.” Roger whispered to Jaune.

“Yes, you non-Sweetians have more strict diets, don’t you?” Sherry frowned with disinterest. “Well, do we have a surprise for you.”

“DINNER… IS SERVED!” A squad of Volbonan chefs hopped in, led by a muscular human chef with smooth brown hair and alluring blue eyes. The chef climbed onto the table as the Volbonans placed plates of various foods before the guests. “For Signore Terry, a Strawberry Snow Bunny.” Terry was given a pink bunny made of snow. “For La Padrona Kagari, a glass of Sparkle Water from Mushroom’s Bubblaine.”

“Everyone, meet Antonio Trussardi, the Traveling Chef.” Queen Sherry announced. “I hired him the moment his incredible tastes reached my tongue. Have a bite and watch as your hearts melt from his recipe!”

“Yep, it’s definitely poison.” Lola remarked.

“MAMA MIA!” Jaune Pringle cried as his body started bending in all sorts of angles. “The soup! What-a was in the SOUP?!”

“He poisoned her own grandson?!”

“It was Rubber Noodle Soup, created from edible rubber ingredients from Bungeeland.” Tonio explained. “Mister Pringle had a mild back pain. His limbs will straighten themselves out in a few minutes.”

“…” Curious, Terry took a bite of his Snow Bunny. “!!” As if on instinct, Terry ate up the entire thing, it was too delicious. “WAAAAH…!” Afterwards, his skin turned to frost and he couldn’t move.

“TERRY!” his family panicked.

“Mr. Terry’s head was throbbing and had a slightly high blood pressure. He will unfreeze in a couple of minutes.”

“What are you, some kind of wizard?!” Bartie exclaimed.

“No, Signore!” Tonio chortled. “I am not a wizard, nor a bender, nor a metahuman. However, I will confess to having exceptional Observation Haki. I can detect any ailments that may be troubling my customers and work to make a necessary meal to ensure them a pleasant day. Mind you, I cannot cure major sicknesses or diseases.”

“WAAAAH!” Daryl screamed, clutching strands of hair. “Then why is my HAIR falling out?!”

“Mobian banana pie!” Tonio smiled assuringly. “It will make you feel young again and rid your head of grey hairs, replacing them with hair that is bound to stay young for four more decades!”

“Okay, but what’s with this shiny water?” Akko asked, taking a drink. “Oh God, it’s amazing!” She drunk the whole glass. “AAAAH!” An incredible bubbling was felt in her belly, which began to morph and contract.

“I fixed the Sparkle Water with dietary supplements. By consuming all these sweets, your body had become slightly bloated, but this will rectify that. …Of course, you will have to drop the waste somewhere.”

“Y-Y-Your Majesty, where’s the bathroom?!” Akko panicked.

“Three doors down that hallway.” Sherry pointed.

“THANK YOU!” Akko ran to the bathroom as fast as possible and slammed the door. She quickly opened one of the stalls… and found a singing toilet.

_“Toilet~ Toilet~ Toilet~ Toilet~”_

The face was smiling and eyes half-closed, as though it felt no greater joy than what it was designed to do. _“Toilet~ Toilet~ Toilet~ Toilet~…”_ Akko began to sniffle and cry in despair. Indeed, there was no pleasant way around this.

“As you can see, Antonio’s reputation precedes him.” said the queen. “His recipes are unlike any other you’ll ever taste. And that’s why I’ve commissioned him for a very _special_ job: he will have the honor of baking the Linlin Family’s Royal Cake! Already, we recovered the Eight Sugary Wonders, and he is going to bake them into a cake more amazing than ALL generations before it! OOOOHHH, its taste is going to feel so GLORIOUS!”

_“Birthday cake! Birthday cake! I wonder how it tastes, the birthday cake~”_

_If she eats that cake, she’ll be unstoppable._ Terry thought. “Erk…nngh…GUH!” The ice finally cracked and he could move again. “Holy crap, that Snow Bunny was amazing.”

“Grazie.” Tonio bowed. “You may look forward to even more wonderful delicacies at the Tea Party.”

 _“Raaaaaahhhh!”_ The room shook slightly as they heard screaming from down the hall.

“My, it sounds like the children are quite riled up.” Sherry smirked. “They must be welcoming new playmates.”

**Kiddie Corn Room**

“ROOAAR!” Corlan bit Amanda in the leg, but she punched him off with a flaming fist. Sucy was chasing Nati and spraying gas at her, but she was caught in a Shadow Possession by Soup, who started forcing Sucy to dance and punch herself. Sarborg boosted circles around Jasminka before kicking the witch in the stomach and flying her into a wall.

“Dammit!” Amanda cursed. “My firebending is still as strong as ever, but it’s hard to move with this puny body!”

“Ow!” Sucy yelped, forced to scratch her own cheek. “Akko seriously owes us after this…”

 

**Pilaf is from _Dragon Ball_ and Tonio is from _Diamond Is Unbreakable_! Originally, I planned to introduce him in an unreleased _Sector LN_ chapter, but here is good, too. Next time, we’re gonna have a little kid fight! ;) Lol this whole planet is basically Punk Hazard 2.0.**


	5. Preproduction Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The age-regressed Sector LN fights the Kiddie Corn! Queen Sherry shows her guests the Treasury.

**Time for a cute fight scene!**

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**_

Chapter 5: Preproduction Begins

_**

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**Whole Cake Chateau; Kiddie Corn Room**

Corlan the Fishboy spat gushes of water with the speed of bullets, Amanda swiftly dodging as she shot back fireballs, but when Nati the Fairy sprinkled more magic dust on her, Amanda grew sleepy. This gave the giant Glomourian, Glonno the chance to kick Amanda across the room like a toy. Corlan ran to sink his teeth into Amanda’s leg, but the angered witch lit it on fire to force him to let go. Glonno leapt overhead and SMASHED Amanda beneath his rump, then got off before Corlan spat water in her face.

_A young Amanda was pinned beneath the foot of a giant, who then began to mold spit in his mouth before drenching Amanda’s head. The furious girl lit herself aflame, turning the saliva to steam as she began to burn the overgrown bullies. The poor girl was given detention and a scolding from her parents._

“GRAAAH!” Amanda lit up again and lashed a Flame Whip at the Fishboy, then at Glonno’s leg to make him fall over. “I’m sick of being kicked around by you assholes!” She kicked off her uncomfortable high-heel shoes. “No matter how young or how small I am, I’m stronger than you, and you BETTER remember that!” She molded flame daggers and sliced at Glonno’s legs, then leapt to kick the giant in the face to make him tumble down. Corlan charged with teeth bared, but Amanda grabbed both ends of his mouth, hands aflame. Corlan cried out in pain, but was unable to escape as Amanda got behind him and shoved him into Glonno’s crotch, forcing the fangs shut.

“My powers may be able to reduce their age,” Pilaf thought aloud, “but their chi levels remain the same. But on the bright side,” he smirked, “my victims are forced to recall bad childhood memories.”

_“Hey Consta-sta-sta-sta! What’s your name, Consta-sta-sta-sta?!”_

Little Constanze was trying to snipe Jonny the Legoan with her magitech gun, but the memories plagued her mind and kept her from concentrating. “What’s-or name, what’s-or name?!” the Legoan was shouting. “I gonna keep sooting if you don’t say!” He kept shooting giant rubber balls from his tower cannons. A frustrated Constanze grabbed a small saucer from her Infi-Cube and threw it into the air, the device floating over Jonny and raining lasers upon him.

 _“No one builds things bigger than Master Constanze!”_ Stanbots were climbing the tower and pulling blocks out. The tower began wobbling as Jonny moaned in dizziness, and during this moment, Constanze fit on her pair of Spring Shoes—only problem being they were too big for her small feet.

“I’ll help, Conse! Reducio!” Young Lotte cast a shrink spell at the shoes, but accidentally shrunk Constanze instead, the German dropping her gun. “Oops! Sorry, Conse, I can’t see very—WAH!” The shadow, Spoon pushed her from behind.

“Tag, Lote is it-soup!” Soup clapped. “Run from Lote!” The Twili girl ran away in glee.

“Stop pushing me! Stupiefy! I mean, Stupefy!” Lotte held her wand in both hands, eyes narrowed as she tried to zap the Twili with Stun Spells, but she kept missing. “No fair! I can’t see anything without my glasses! I didn’t get them ’til I was eight.”

“Soup is over here!” Soup emerged behind her from a Shadow Veil. Lotte tried to stun her, but the illusion vanished. “No, she’s back here-soup!” Lotte hit her on the wall, but it was another fake. “Soup is on ceiling-soup.” Lotte glared up at the ceiling.

“Man, you’re annoying… Fine, then I’ll use the Song Spirit to search for you.” Lotte grabbed a glowing pink jar and ripped it open, freeing a note-shaped spirit. _“La, la la la… la… la…”_ Lotte closed her eyes, and in the darkness, she could only see the spirit. _“La, la la la…”_ The spirit flew beside Soup and began to dance in the air, convincing the joyful Twili to dance and twirl as well. Lotte’s spirit companion, Will-o’-chan leapt on the tip of her wand and helped her aim at the shadow. “Spirit Balloon!” Lotte filled Will-o’-chan with magical air, blowing him into the Twili as he POPPED!

“Sooouu… I guess I’m it, now.” Soup’s eyes swirled like noodles as she fell over.

“Thank you, spirits! Oh, right, Conse!” Lotte hurried over to the Spring Shoes and re-enlarged the German witch.

“Hmmmf!” Constanze changed the setting on her gun to shrink the shoes herself. “Oh, right. You could’ve done it, hehe.” Lotte blushed.

“No fair! My tower!” Jonny cried as the block tower was now only a stick of its former self, kept standing by only its cannons. Constanze used the Spring Shoes to bounce higher and higher before propelling up to the Legoan, clicking a button on the shoes, and forcing the springs against him, sending Jonny into the wall.

Sucy kept chasing Nati while spraying poison at her, but the gas was blown away by a gentle breeze. “Hey, quit it!” she yelled at the giant Harnitan, Silla.

“It isn’t nice to spray gas at people.” Silla smiled, using gentle airbending to blow the gas.

“Leave Sucy alone!” Jasminka yelled, grabbing Silla’s leg and trying to lift her up, but the blue-haired giant blew a powerful gust at the floor and lifted off, taking Jasminka with her. Silla whirled around and swung Jasminka off her. The Harnitan landed several feet away and began blowing a constant breath at the Russian witch. Jasminka rolled across the floor and against the wall, standing and struggling to push through the wind. “Ohhh… if I eat through the floor, I could surprise her… b-but…”

_“That girl hasn’t stopped eating all day! She eats more than a PIG!”_

_“PIGMINKA~ PIGMINKA~”_

The hurtful chanting of her classmates haunted her 5-year-old brain. She glanced over at Amanda, who swung her flaming foot into Corlan’s head before Glonno leapt and landed belly-first on her. “Hmmmmnnn!” Determined to help her friend, Jasminka stretched her mouth wide and ate through the candy floor!

“Oh, dear! I hope she isn’t hurt.” Silla approached the hole and peeped inside.

“ASCENDIO!” Jasminka BURST up from the room below, perfectly striking Silla as the Harnitan tumbled forward and into the hole, breaking it open bigger. “Engorgio!” Jasminka leapt above Silla and inflated herself, dropping down like a large cannonball and crushing the Harnitan’s head, knocking her out. “I’m coming, Amanda!” She used Ascendio again to return.

“Still not gonna let ya GAS her!” Sarborg the Android boosted at Sucy and swiped her spray can.

“Hey!” Sucy yelled, failing to reclaim the can from the speedy android. “You aren’t the only one who can run fast with science.” She drank a Speed Potion and chased after Sarborg. Sucy chased her up the walls and ceiling, eyes fixed on the robot whose shirt was designed like a target. “Got ya!” Sucy grabbed hold of the android.

“SPROING!” The target blasted her off like a spring. “Try again, suckuuuhh!”

“Oh, that’s how you wanna play, huh? Then I’ll add a supplement!” Sucy dropped a pill into the potion and drank it again. The witch ran with twice the speed, running circles around the android as Sarborg’s head spun around in confusion. “CHING! Got ya!” Sucy jumped her from behind again.

“NOPE!” Sarborg sprung her away again. “You’ll NEVER take my spray can! W-What?” However, when she attempted to boost, her engines felt clogged. “Heeeey! My boosters!” She looked down at her heels, realizing they were clogged with glue.

“Magic glue.” Sucy smirked. “Used to stick my siblings to their beds when I was little. Heek keek keek keek.”

“Mmmmmweeeeehhh!” Sarborg cried in despair, burning her engines brighter as the glue inflated. “WAAAH!” Unfortunately, her ankles were blown clean off.

“And FYI, this is MY spray can.” Sucy remarked, casually taking the can back, feeling no pity as the crippled Sarborg cried on the floor.

“You guys are monsters!” Nati cried. “I gotta go tell Grandma-” But she hadn’t gotten the chance before Sucy sprayed the gas over her, watching as the fairy dropped to the floor.

“I’ve always wanted to gas a fairy.” Sucy towered over the gasping creature with a wicked grin. “I wonder what organs I can harvest from you.”

“No fair!” Pilaf shouted. “No one gets to beat up my classmates except me! Shu, Mai, SHOW THEM YOUR POWER!”

“Jasminka Kickball!” Amanda kicked her rotund friend into Mai and knocked her down, while Constanze blew a doggy whistle and weakened Shu.

“You dirty cheaters! We’ll see how you feel after I revert you back into newborn infants!” Pilaf mustered another surge of power in his hands, until Amanda grabbed him by the neck.

“Don’t even THINK about makin’ me shit myself.” Amanda threatened, positioning her other flaming fist to punch him. “We had a deal, brat. Now, tell us about your crewmen or I’ll be tasting roasted goblin!”

“And change us back to normal, too!” Lotte demanded.

“Uh, about that last part… I can only _reverse_ people’s ages, I can’t age them frontwards. Hehehehehe…” Pilaf sweated.

“WHAT?!” Amanda lit up. “You mean we have to grow up all OVER again?!”

“N-NO! The spell will wear off in 12 hours, I swear!”

“Yeah, it better. We have a gig next month and we can’t do it lookin’ like this. Now, about your _other_ promise?” Amanda smirked devilishly.

“Uh, r-right. I’ll start with Commander Pawtucket.”

**Planet Secco; Oasia Town**

True to its name, Oasia was a town built over a massive oasis. Flourishing with beautiful plant life, it was considered by many to be the most beautiful town on Secco. Alas, this town was in a great state of despair, under the jaunty, deep vocals of orange-skinned imps.

_CHUMBA-WUMBA_

_Doogity DUNGA!_

_MAN YOUR ARMS_

_And hunt them down!_

Chumba-Wumbas danced in synchronized motion, throwing exploding beer grenades everywhere. Dryan soldiers surrounded Sweet Commander Pawtucket Pat, who splashed alcoholic water over the soldiers, then snapped his fingers to set the beer aflame.

_CHUMBA-WUMBA_

_Hoogity HUNGA!_

_Crush everyone_

_And everything in this town!_

_“What good’s an oasis when it’s filled up with beer?”_ sang a Chumba as he broke several citizens’ shins with strong kicks.

 _“While pirates rob them and fill them with fear?”_ While doing graceful flips, a Chumba tossed grenades into three houses, making a pose as they all exploded at once.

 _“Why do they run while we’re having such fun?”_ A Chumba used a water gun to shoot condensed beer bullets at fleeing citizens.

 _“Can they not wait until WE… ARE… DONE?”_ Three different Chumba-Wumbas crushed a man’s face, threw a girl into the beer river, and strung a boy to a palm tree.

Afterwards, several bodies were thrown in a pile. “I – will – take – that – as – a – ‘no’!” a Chumba sang as the pile was set aflame.

_CHUMBA-WUMBA_

_Singity SUNGA!_

_Life’s not faaaiiir_

_It’s sad, but truuuue!_

_Your bones will still make excellent food_

_And turn to Chumba-Wumba doggledy doo_

Sandtanks were attempting to blast the pirate ships from afar, but the tanks were punctured by massive Haki-imbued arrows. “That’s FIVE IN A ROW!” Sasha cheered, jumping and throwing her fist skyward. “Hey, Uncle Pat, I’m getting close to beating your record!”

“Ha ha, now now, Sasha.” Pawtucket smiled and spoke in a fatherly manner. “It’s only a competition when everyone has a fair chance at winning.” With that, Pawtucket gathered all the water from the oasis and molded it into a cyclone around himself. Using his Devil Fruit power to completely turn it to alcohol, Sasha watched as he grew into a water giant even taller than her. The liquid body giving a charming smile, Pawtucket aimed his finger and fired 20 giant Beer Cannons, destroying 20 tanks in a row.

“Ugh. You’re such a showoff.” Sasha grunted. “Well, I still get 60% of the salt!”

“Ho ho, yes, you can’t have enough chips, can you?” Pat chuckled, whipping beer up to slash an enemy aircraft.

“Yeah, but not just for me! I want it for my little cousins.” A tank came out of the ground, but Sasha stabbed it with her sword.

“Oh, yes, you were overseeing the vampire children last night. Did Lala have trouble with her assignment?”

“Uh, I dunno… what assignment was that again?”

“I don’t know the exact details, but I was informed Lala was assigned to look into her nephew’s memories. Whatever the case, I hope you didn’t get in the way.” Pat smiled scoldingly.

“Man, why do you keep blaming me for everything?!” Sasha flushed in anger.

“You get a bit unpredictable without supervision.”

“I do NOT!” Sasha kicked the sand in anger and sent another tank flying. “Oops, sorry! I mean, not sorry ’cause… you know, we’re trying to rob you.”

“Focus, darling!” The beer giant stretched his arms like tentacles and smashed four more tanks.

“Then quit distracting me, old geez…geez…” Due to the battle stirring sand in the air, some of it got in Sasha’s nose. “Ah…ah…”

“NOW I’ve got you, giant!” A Dryan warrior flew up to her face on jetpacks, readying a shotgun.

“ACHOO!” And he was blown miles away by her mighty sneeze.

_“Doggledy doo~”_

Hyrule Field

“Hnnnnng…nnnnngg…” Having completed his 200 wake-up push-ups, Cheren Uno was now hard at work pushing a huge boulder up the slope of a mountain. Bisky and Panini were watching the struggle from a safe, flat ground.

“If you can’t unlock Armament Haki by the time you reach the peak, you’ll have to push down the other side and across the next field.” Bisky stated.

“Lovely…hrrrrgh…” Behind Cheren lay a great field, and a snaky indented path brushed along it, created by his boulder. Hyrule Castle stood tall and proud in the distance. “Say, Bisky, since we’re not really doing anything, can you tell me a little about Hyrule’s history? I mean, didn’t this kingdom used to exist on Earth?”

“Yes, it did. The Kingdom of Hyrule existed for at least 10,000 years, and reigned for about 6,000 years. That was before Earth’s World Government was founded and they drove almost all the non-humans away from the planet. Hyrule’s castle was torn down and the kingdom became an old memory. The races wandered the cosmos, but with the guiding light of Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie, they found this planet, bustling with natural life and called it their new home. It also helped that members of their own species already seemed to live there. Thus, this world became New Hyrule.”

“Of course, it was thanks to Cheren that this planet was born.” Panini noted with a cheeky smile.

“That being said,” Bisky followed with an irritated frown, “our new kingdom honors the ancient heroes, Link and Zelda, ergo Cheren would be treated like a V.I.P. on this planet. One other thing you should know… is that the royal family living in that castle is not part of the original bloodline. But it was decreed that if the true heirs to that throne came to reclaim it, it would be theirs.”

“But I’m descended from Link and Zelda, aren’t I? Does that mean… _I_ could claim the throne?”

“Not while you’re in the middle of MY training! And even then, would you really want the trouble of running a kingdom when you’ve already got your organization?”

“I know, I was just asking. Besides, I’ve still got demon blood inside me. I wouldn’t deserve to be their ruler.”

“Well, if we ended up gettin’ married someday,” Panini replied, “it would sure be a romantic gift.”

“Heh heh heh…”

…

Hyrule Castle Town was bustling with traffic and activity on another lovely day for its citizens. Blending in with this crowd was a golden-haired woman in a sky-blue gown, her sunglasses shielding her eyes from the sun.

**Whole Cake Chateau**

“Well, I say we collected some hefty good info from that goblin.” Amanda said, her high-heels dangling by her fingers as the child witches trekked the titan-sized halls.

“But did you have to knock him out?” Jasminka asked.

“I was hoping it would make his spell wear off. Ugh, but we’re still brats.”

“Only for 12 hours.” Lotte smiled. “And look at the bright side! It’ll be like reliving our childhoods all over again, except now we’ll have each other! My childhood would’ve been a lot more fun if I had friends like you.”

“Mmm.” Constanze grunted, her young eyes squinted and cheeks puffed as she held Sucy’s hand.

“There is one thing I’m kinda worried about.” Sucy said.

Up ahead, the door to a bathroom opened as Akko walked out, her body straight and stiff. “Huuu… I hate using the bathroom at someone else’s place. It always goes bad one way or another… oh?” She perked up at the sight of five children: Lotte, Sucy, Amanda, Conse, and Jas gazed at Akko with awe. From this view, she actually seemed like a wise and dependable adult, even though that was far from the truth. “Hello, kids!” Akko greeted sweetly. “You know, you look _just_ like these people I know.”

“Akko, it’s us, you dolt.” Amanda stated.

“Dwuuuuuh?!” Her jaw stretched. “Wait… you mean it’s actually you guys?!”

“We were kinda made this way by one of Grandma’s kids.” Lotte clarified. “They said it would wear off by tomorrow.”

“That’s good. Anyway, I have some news: Sherry said we could take Diana home with us to prepare for the show!”

“But we already had Diana-” Sucy tried to say.

“Sucyyyy!” Lotte clamped her mouth shut. “She means we can take the _impostor_ home with us. And if that’s the case, maybe we can talk to her about what she’s up to.”

“Then should we try to regroup with the others?” Amanda asked.

“Not yet. I think Queen Sherry is showing her guests around the castle, including the impostor. We might as well join them! Right, Conse?!” Akko joyfully picked up the shortest witch by the arms.

“Hmmmmmm…” Her little cheeks puffed red.

**Mask Room**

“This is my granddaughter, Cassiopea’s room.” Sherry began as she entered the vacant room and turned on the lights. “It also doubles as my prison.”

A variety of masks were mounted around the walls. As the guests entered, they studied the masks with dread. “Your granddaughter has an interesting hobby.” Daryl said.

“Oh, it’s more than that: Cassiopea has an unusual power to turn people into masks, although she requires a musicbender to do so. These unfortunate souls are the masks of captured prisoners, from KND operatives to common invaders. Then I threaten their hometowns to give me candy, or else I kill them! Provided they have decent candy to offer, of course.”

“Hey, Terry… doesn’t this look a bit familiar?” Lola asked, disturbed by the one-note masks.

“It does, Lola…” Terry’s heart pounded in anxiety. The last time they saw masks like this was when their friend, Miyuki was possessed.

“Alright, that’s enough basking in masks. This way, friends!” Queen Sherry exited, and Lala was the last one to follow, glancing suspiciously at a mask with sunglasses and a lollipop stick in its mouth.

The group approached another large door guarded by a very tall, long-legged woman with a pink one-piece, whitish-blonde hair, and a helmet. “Hello, Smoothie. I’d like to show my guests the Treasury.”

“Of course, Grandma.” Smoothie smiled and bowed, unlocking the door and stepping aside.

Light glimmered in their eyes as mountains of treasure towered before them. “We may be candy pirates, but we are just as fond of classical treasure! I make it my goal to collect all the rarest beauties in the universe. Ah, over there, that’s the Arkenstone.” She picked up an ovular stone that seemed to have a galaxy inside it. It looked like a pebble to her fingers, but it was big enough to fit in two normal-sized hands. “Legend says it used to belong to the Gorons of Ancient Hyrule. Worth 10 million Rupees.”

Sherry tossed the jewel back into the pile and used her psychic to pick up two books off a shelf: a white one with a star, and a black one with a blue jewel and magenta lines. “These are the Light Prognosticus and the Dark Prognosticus, two ancient spell books from Mushroom World that bless mages with pure Light Magic, and pure Dark Magic. Far too valuable to let my crewmen use them! Worth six million coins each.”

“Huff, huff, huff…” Akko grew exhausted as she carried Constanze on her shoulders. “Oh, thank goodness. It looks like they’re in there.” She saw the treasure room ahead and mustered the rest of her strength to walk.

“And those seven jewels on that shelf?” Sherry pointed at seven orange balls with stars inside them, from one to seven stars. “Those are Dragon Balls from a planet called Namek. Apparently, they were used to maintain the planet’s stability, so when my crew stole them, the planet eventually self-destructed. I think the people evacuated, so who really cares in the end, ma ma ma! …Oh, and speaking of valuable treasures, is that my little star?!”

“Hi, Your Majesty!” Akko beamed, setting Constanze on the floor and catching her breath. “Uh, I don’t mean to alarm you, but… your bathroom needs tending to.”

“No worries, the toilets usually share with each other.”

“I didn’t need to know that.” Akko felt her stomach cramp.

“I’m curious, Akko… if you were to sell your Claiomh Solais to an auction, how much money do you think you could make off it?”

“I would think the Shiny Rod is worth a bazillion gems! Not that I would ever think about selling it.”

“Well, isn’t that a shame. Still, when time comes for my birthday, I’m expecting dozens of valuable treasures from all of my guests! Oh, I get too excited just thinking about it!”

“I’ll bet you do! Oh, and um, did you tell Diana about… what we discussed?”

“Oh, yes. Good news, Diana, you get to go home after today! Your wedding to Jaune Pringle won’t take place until March 11, along with the other betrothed couples.”

“As if I would EVER go back with THESE no-name sluts.” Roger rolled his eyes. An angered Akko marched up to him. “Hell, they look like they still suck from their mommy’s—AAAHH!” Akko stomped him in the foot.

 _“I don’t know who you are, but you better play along and come with us, or we’ll get the REAL Diana to expose you.”_ Akko hissed.

“You little bitch witch.”

“Hey, Grandma.” Lola spoke up. “If all your family is invited to the party, does that mean the Unos are coming, too-”

“NOOO!” The castle was quaked by Grandma’s thundering tone. “Those brats are NOT welcome here! That wretched Nigel Uno denounced his title as Demon King. The Linlins could have RULED the Underworld if it wasn’t for him! As far as I’m concerned, they are NOT part of this family! The same goes for those damned Beans that worked for Sunny Fist. Why, I should send the Breakfast Club to end them right now.”

“The who?”

“They’re our Revenge Squad.” Lala explained. “The queen typically sends them at people who REALLY piss her off.”

“It would make an excellent birthday present for Her Highness.” Goomnut smirked.

“No, you shouldn’t do that!” Akko pled in panic.

“Oh? And why shouldn’t we?” The Goomba glared.

“B-Because I want the chance to kick Sheila’s ass myself! I wanna get back at her for humiliating me!”

“Hm, ma ma ma!” Sherry laughed. “Yes, Akko, I’m sure you and your little kiddie fights are worth all the revenge in the cosmos… but you shouldn’t forget: _SHEILA FRANTIC KILLED MY CHARLOTTE!”_ Zeus thundered overhead as Sherry’s mouth grew to greater proportions, allowing the entire castle to hear her. _“I think MY desire to kill her FAR OUTWEIGHS YOURS!!_ But for my new bestie, I will allow it.” Sherry grinned.

“I can no longer read you, Your Majesty!” Goomnut shouted.

“Did she just call Akko her bestie?!” Amanda exclaimed.

“Hehe, don’t worry, Your Majesty!” Akko beamed. “I promise you can have Sheila all to yourself afterwards!”

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” Jack Skellington began, “but I’m growing rather weary. Far too much cheer and little fear on this planet. I believe I should return to Nightmare Land before my people get worried.”

“I agree.” Daryl followed. “Having my hair rapidly fall out and regrow makes a woman exhausted.”

“I wouldn’t mind staying for a little longer.” Princess Éclair smiled.

 _“UUUUUUUUUGH.”_ The other guests moaned.

“Silence!” commanded the queen. “If you must leave, then so be it. Just return to the landing platform and my tart ships will have you returned to your worlds.”

“It was very great visiting you, Your Majesty.” Akko spoke politely. “I can’t wait to give you the most amazing birthday ever!”

“Ha ha! Doki doki no waku waku!”

 _“SHE JUST SAID AKKO’S CATCHPHRASE?!”_ the witches screamed.

“Hehehehehe!” Akko blushed goofily.

**Meatropolis**

The air of Meatropolis always wrought with burning meat. The giant towers of hot sauce burned like oil refineries, and Mexican music played throughout the city. Hannah, Barbara, and Diana had grown hungry and decided to visit the Meat Patty, an outdoor restaurant situated on the patty of a gigantic half-stacked burger.

“So, whats can I gets you girls?” asked the waiter, a beefy man dressed like a butcher. “Giraffe Patty Special?” He conjured three patties out of thin air. “Great Snake Bacon?” He formed a very long bacon strip. “How about Grenade Eggs without the gunpowder?” He formed three green eggs that exploded.

“How are you doing that?” Hannah inquired.

“I ate something called a Meat-Meat Fruit. It tasted awful, but now I can make meat with my chy.”

“Chy? Do you mean your ‘chi’?” Barbara asked.

“Yeh, my chy.”

“Eh, speaking of chy!” Two people suddenly got between the girls and the Butcher: one was a shaggy-haired man in a green shirt and another was a large brown dog. “We would like Chinese food with a side of everything.” Shaggy requested.

“With ravy, ruff-ruff!” Scooby-Doo replied.

“Yes, with gravy, thank you, Scooby.”

“Wait a second, you’re Scooby and Shaggy from Mystery Inc.!” Barbara recognized.

“Ho ho ho! Like, we sure are, man! It turns out me and Scooby are biological cousins!”

“Yeah! Riorogical.” Scooby nodded.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to eat everything on this planet.” With that, the duo zipped off and began devouring a tower of food on a single table.

“So, honey, what would you like to eat?” The girls looked behind them, seeing a sentient hotdog holding hands with a sentient bun. “Just make sure to save room for me.” the sausage said smoothly. “Just leave enough room for me to, eh… slip on in there.” He pressed himself to the bun.

“Ooo, huhuhuhuhu!” The bun giggled.

The girls felt sick to their stomachs. “On second thought, I’m not hungry.” Hannah said, walking down the stairs off the burger.

“Yeah.” Barbara agreed.

“Sigh. Towerists.” The Butcher mumbled.

 _“It’s TOURISTS!”_ Diana Mouse squeaked.

“How can this place look so delicious and feel so disgusting?” Hannah sighed. “I could really go for some of Jasminka’s cooking right now.”

 _“Hannah, Barbara, this is Akko. Do you read?”_ The two held up their wristwatches. _“We’re all ready to go home now. Where are you guys?”_

“Some kind of meat town. We’ll head back to you ASAP.” Barbara answered, the witches mounting their brooms.

“Akko, what of my impostor?” Diana asked.

_“We have her with us, too.”_

“Good. We can talk to her on our way back to—”

_“Er… scratch that.”_

“What?”

_“The impostor just vanished.”_

**Whole Cake Chateau; Throne Room**

“So, Lala… have you finished analyzing your nephew’s memories?”

“Yes, Grandma. And I can say with absolute certainty… the person he seems to love most is MaKayla King.” Lala pulled a strip of film out of her mind, displaying the girl in question. “The Great Clock’s Keeper.”

“Well, well… seems fate is working in our favor.” Sherry’s grin became a crescent. “Indeed, I may very well be hosting _four_ weddings this March.”

“Hehehe… You aren’t actually thinking of marrying two children, are you?”

“Have you forgotten, Dearie? This is Sweetopia! Where happy endings become reality! And I can marry whoever I want, regardless of sex, race, or age! After all, you _are_ engaged to a skeleton.”

“Well, that’s true, but… hehe, we’re still legal age.”

“And SO are Terry and the timebender, as far as my planet’s law is concerned. The question is, how do we seize a group of timebenders?” The queen stroked her bloated chin. “Well… since we got to talking about them, how about we show them the Breakfast Club’s terror?!”

The two Chess Guys standing outside the chamber were eavesdropping on the conversation. One of them was secretly a gray alien in a disguise. “Those damn witches aren’t keeping me away from _my_ sexy Pringle.” He spoke passionately. “…That talking hotdog from Meatropolis looked tasty as ***.”

**Luna Nova; Sector LN Base**

“Lunch will be ready soon, guys!” said little Jasminka, using a stepstool to be able to cook on the stove.

“Smells fantastic!” Hannah beamed. “Did you use to cook when you were this young?”

“Uh-huh. I helped my mom cook all the time.”

“Glad to see age hasn’t slowed us down.” Amanda smirked, flexing a muscle.

“Yeah, but maybe this is our chance to raise you properly this time.” Hannah remarked.

“I’ll settle with raising my fist into your chin as soon as I grow up.”

After they had returned, Diana collected everyone’s memories and sorted them into vials. She poured the memories into her Pensieve and began to review them. “Well, thanks to Amanda’s group, we have information on every major member of the Big Mom Pirates. And as for Akko… well, you certainly seemed like you were enjoying your conversation.” She squeezed the water from her hair.

“I know! I really didn’t expect to hit it off with her so well. But it’s like, we have so much in common!”

“As if Akko wasn’t a freak before.” Barbara remarked with a, “Oh ho ho ho!” She was on her knees while young Lotte stood on a chair and combed her hair.

“Hold still.” Lotte stated.

“I will send the information about the pirates to the Supreme Leader. But even so… it seems like we’ve learned nothing of the queen’s weaknesses.” Diana said with regret.

“Well, we don’t really need that.” Akko replied. “We just needed to know what she likes so we can know what to give her.” With a firm expression, the Muggle-born witch marched up to a desk with a notebook ready. “So with that… it’s time to begin planning the Birthday Magic Fest!” Her pen loaded with ink, she vigorously drew her vision on the paper.

 

**Definitely expect to see more of the Kiddie Corn in the future, because they’re some of the sweetest little devils to ever walk this cosmos. X3 Butcher is from _WordGirl_.**


	6. Musical Breakfast Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sector IC is attacked by the Breakfast Club. Queen Sherry makes a horrible proposal to Terry.

**Kids, the characters in this chapter will teach you to have a healthy and balanced breakfast. :)**

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**_

Chapter 6: Musical Breakfast Friends

_**

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**Iceland**

Twilight swept over Reykjavík, but no one could tell due to the gloomy, cloudy sky. Knowing two of their friends had gone to Big Mom’s territory, they felt rather uneasy. “I bet Suki’s playing on the Oil Ice Mountain. It’s probably really cold in this weather.” George smiled. “You wanna join her?”

“I don’t feel like it.” MaKayla replied, staring at the Chrono Staff in her lap. “I…I have a bad feeling, but I don’t know what it is…”

_Boom. Boom. Boom._

“Is it that?” Miyuki asked. At first, they thought it was a car outside playing its boombox. But even cars could not shake the earth at this magnitude, where even their treehouse rumbled and plates fell from the cabinets. So, the three rushed to the window, seeing a large, moving structure rolling over the neighborhood.

_BO-BOM-BOM-BEE! BOOM-BOOM-BEE! BOOM-BOOM-BEE! BOOM-BOOM-BEE!_

Sector IC could not believe what they were seeing: a pirate ship that looked like a giant ovular cereal bowl, with a sail that depicted a four-leaf clover, but what really took the cake were the four massive tiger-striped tires that carried the vessel across land. The ship rocked up and down to the beats of the boombox, and it gave little care as the tires rolled over innocent homes. The base of the ship opened and released steam, and within that steam, five figures were present. The five stepped out from the steam and were revealed to be a leprechaun, a muscular tiger, a short man with a white mustache and blue navy uniform, an orange cuckoo bird with a long beak, and a white rabbit.

Wearing sunglasses and gold rings with clover symbols, the leprechaun began to rap. _“Orange star horse shoe, clovers and blue moons! The BK’s here to spell out yo’ doom! The name’s Luck-Luck-Lucky, and I got the Lucky Charms!”_ He slapped his crotch before whipping guns out of his pockets. _“Take a big bite kids, it really AIN’T no harm!”_ He shot Lucky Charms into the mouths of children, outside and in homes, and the marshmallows swelled inside their throats, causing them to choke.

 _“Don’t mess with the yo ho, Bozo. Better chew before you swal-low, Bobo.”_ The parents desperately tried to force the food out of their children’s mouths, but to no avail.

 _“This furry white trash can’t ditch them Trix. He had enough o’ them trashy shits.”_ Lucky directed to Trix the Rabbit, anger fuming in his spinning rainbow eyes as he grit his cracked teeth. _“Wait’ll they see, he got tricks his own, they gon’ feel in they brittle bones!”_

“Hehehe! Silly rabbit!” laughed Trix. “Trix are for kids! LIKE THIS!” He YANKED a rope, flipping a group of playground kids upside-down and smashing their skulls together. He kept pulling the rope to continue cracking their crowns.

 _“Don’t mess with the hobo, mo’ fo’. Or we gonna get all mojo, JoJo.”_ The kids presented the yogurt to Trix with pleading eyes, but he grabbed their arms and squeezed them ’til blood squirted out.

 _“Who-are-we, who-are-they, whatchu wanna know? This tiger’s stripped and he’s ready to go.”_ Tony the Tiger flexed his muscular abs, dragging two high school boys by the necks. _“He whips them boys up into shape, just stuff ’em full of Frosty Flakes!”_

Tony poured Frosted Flakes into the boys’ mouths, turning their bones brittle as he then bent them and wrapped them together. “They’re grrrrrrREAT! For flexibility!” With the boys now in the shape of a single large ball, Tony imbued them with Armament Haki and KICKED with the force of a cannonball, destroying seven houses in a row as the “ball” leaked red.

 _“Don’t mess with the to-to, home bro. That’s a bigga-bigga no no, o’ foe.”_ Tony molded another ball out of two boys and started spinning them on his claw tip, using his other finger to push down on it and drill a hole.

 _“His dada was a chicken and mama was a cow, they died eatin’ cereal and he didn’t care how.”_ Sonny the Cuckoo Bird had feathers falling apart, and he was shuddering as if from a constant cold. _“Last thing he knows is puffing cocoa, it’s all he needs to fill his BOWL!”_

He filled a bowl with Cocoa Puffs, but instead of eating them, he huffed them into his nose. _THUMP!_ The music stopped. “I’m-. I’m-! I’M-! CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS, CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!” He zipped all around town at blinding speeds, and several people found their selves with holes in their stomachs, as part of Sonny’s attempt to search their bellies for more Cocoa Puffs. Everyone desperately tried to hold in their organs.

 _“Don’t mess with the cocoa, Ocho. He gets macho with his mocha, yo’ know?”_ Sonny saw a little boy about to eat a spoonful of cereal and rushed to EAT the spoon, along with the kid’s arm. …Turns out, it was the wrong cereal.

 _“I got a hunch ya won’t want this for lunch, this midget will munch and give a good crunch.”_ Captain Crunch sported a giant, creepy grin and hammered his boulder teeth. He sunk his teeth into the ground and began to eat through the road, sidewalks, and yards like a Chain Chomp. _“Eat ya out of your house and homes, he’ll shave this island until it’s dome.”_

Captain Crunch made his signature whistle just as he finished the circle. A massive chunk of the neighborhood sunk far beneath the Earth’s surface. “Geh huh huh! That felt good for my molar!” his teeth clacked.

 _“Don’t mess with the cho-cho, no bo’. He’ll getcha like the po-po, Yo Joe.”_ Captain Crunch began creating airwaves with his teeth, creating teeth-shaped rifts in peoples’ houses, as well as in the bodies of any morsels in his wake.

Standing in the street, Sector IC were mortified: in just a single song, their entire neighborhood had been reduced to ruin, houses crumbled and people injured and crying. _“Don’t mess with the yo ho…”_ The Breakfast Club were approaching the timebenders. _“Don’t mess with the yo ho…”_ The song steadily faded away.

“Yow. What-What’s up, tiddy tikes?” Lucky greeted them, flashing teeth with gold braces. “We here to get all hoe-down in this hootenanny?”

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’re with the Big Mom Pirates?” George assumed.

“That’s rrrrrrrrrrRIGHT!” Tony perked up.

“Does…Does this have something to do with Lola and Terry?” Miyuki asked quietly.

“We have a schedule to keep, boys, so let’s make this quick.” Crunch said.

“STOP them!” George ordered. (Play “Bad Luck Charm” from _RWBY_!)

The three timebenders combined their powers to freeze all five of the Breakfast Club in place. “Good. I’ll start rewinding and fixing everyone’s injuries.” MaKayla ran to each ruined house and restored it to form. “After this, we’ll have to make a plan to visit Sweetopia. I have a feeling something bad happened to Terry and Lola-”

“KAYLA!” Miyuki cried, too late as Sonny stabbed her friend in the back, spinning rapidly before chucking Kayla away. The cereal icons escaped their Stop and attacked the others. Tony furiously swiped his claws at George, the boy dodging backwards as his shirt was torn. Trix hopped behind George and threw rapid punches, chi-blocking George and kicking him into Tony. The tiger grabbed him and shoved Frosted Flakes down his throat, making his bones brittle as Tony bent him into a ball. Bouncing him like a basketball, Tony forcefully slammed him against  the corner of the sidewalk.

Miyuki expanded an Age Circle and tried to reverse Crunch’s age, but the captain gnashed at her before she had the chance, forcing Miyuki to dodge. She fired Chrono Beams as a backup plan, but Crunch crushed them in his teeth and ate a path toward Miyuki, who Stopped him again. Miyuki got to his side and shot a Chrono Beam, but the Stop wore off quickly as Crunch burrowed underground. Miyuki tried to run from her spot, but found that her shoes were glued to the ground by Lucky’s swollen marshmallows. “AAH!” The ground beneath her feet exploded, propelling Miyuki in the air as Crunch leapt to eat her like a fish.

An Ice Road whooshed across the air, seizing Miyuki as Crunch bit into the ice. “SUKI!” Miyuki beamed, her sister holding her in her arms as Suki slid to a halt on the ground.

“Sister-chan, someone made a avalanche on the mountain!”

“I know, it was—SUKI, WATCH OUT!”

Captain Crunch CHOMPED Suki’s head clean off, but the icebender retaliated by freezing him solid. Afterwards, Suki’s head grew back from her ice body. “Don’t worry, Miyuki! I lose my mind lots of times!”

“That girrrrrl’s a LOGIA!” Tony jumped. “Leave her to me!” He discarded George and ran to BASH Suki’s head with a Haki punch. She bounced along the ground as blood dripped, but with a firm expression, she was back on her feet and shooting icicles at the tiger. Crunch escaped from the ice and resumed chasing Miyuki, who slowed time to escape him faster.

MaKayla used Rewind on George, undoing his ball form and fixing his injuries plus chi-block. “AAH!” Her leg was caught in Sonny’s beak as the bird bashed her back-and-forth against the pavement. Sonny released, and as Kayla flew across the air, the bird sped over and KICKED her away. MaKayla jumped out and shot Chrono Bullets from her staff, Sonny dodging and zipping at her again. “Za Wārudo!” Kayla Stopped time for the entire universe, aggressively bashing Sonny with her staff. “I don’t have time for you. I’ve got to help these people!” When the Stop wore off, Sonny suffered the damage done to him, and Kayla quickly resumed repairing houses and healing people.

“Yicky yicky YEEHAW!” Lucky shot bullets in the air like a cowboy. “Yo chicky-chicky ain’t NO WAY you gon’ save all dese people! DON’T YOU run from ME, Chicky Mick!” He shot bullets at MaKayla to bind her feet, but Lucky realized it was a red clone created from a Time Recordance. MaKayla had gone in the other direction to fix houses, so Lucky chased her and shot Unlucky Charms. Her feet were binded again, but she became a green Time Clone, and the real MaKayla BASHED Lucky in the back of the head. The leprechaun bounced to recovery, running circles around her and shooting marshmallows, all of which she deflected with Rewind by twirling her staff, causing his guns to get clogged.

George slowed time to swiftly dodge Trix’s punches, but the rabbit evaded his as well and threw a punch to George’s stomach. Trix then leapt with legs around George’s neck, choking the boy while punching his head. George struggled to pull the legs off, then he bit the right leg and was able to get Trix off him. “Ha ha—HO!” George fell into a pitfall and was caught in a net, and Trix jumped in and stamped George with his paws. The net sunk down and shot up, springing Trix skyward like a trampoline as he came down with a Screw Kick and doubled the damage for George.

Miyuki froze Crunch in time and kept trying to shoot his teeth with Chrono Beams, but they were immune to her strikes. “Grrr. How do you grow teeth that big?” Curious, she went to touch the frozen Crunch.

_The short captain had his teeth ripped out as crewmen began to stick a massive pair of dentures into his mouth._

“So, you had your old teeth swapped out for these?!”

Crunch escaped from the Stop and replied, “Uh huh huh! These teeth came from the mouth of a Titan. But I still make sure to eat my vegetables.” Crunch chomped shockwaves at the air behind Miyuki, biting off the bark of the treehouse. Miyuki gasped when the tree began to topple, so she threw her arms up to Rewind it. She succeeded in the act, but- “AAAAH!” nothing stopped Crunch from catching her legs.

“SISTER!” Suki shot icicles at the big-toothed pirate, but Tony grabbed her head and shoved her against the ground. Suki spread her ice to his arm and froze Tony’s entire body afterward. She escaped and rolled upright to freeze Crunch’s body, but failed to complete the act as Tony escaped the ice and smashed Suki with a Slam-dunk Attack.

“I wanna know who this girl is,” Tony began, lifting the unconscious Suki by the arm, “but all that matters is, sheeeeeee’s FOOD!” And he prepared to sink his hardened teeth into her neck.

“NO! NOT SUKI, PLEASE!” Miyuki cried.

“Yow, it seems we gotcho’ chilly chonga.” Lucky smirked, pointing his clogged gun at Suki. MaKayla turned to her with horror. “I’m thinkin’ To-To be settin’ ta eat ’er, Skeeter.”

“What do you want, anyway?!” Kayla demanded.

“We want YOU!” Trix stated. “Queen Sherry demands your attendance, so you better share it with her!”

“The hell does she want me for?!”

“It ain’t our bozo, we just came to go-go.” Lucky replied. “So you wanna row-row, or it’s a no-no?”

Kayla’s heart raced with anxiety. With all odds against them, she saw only one way out of this. “Time Gate, OPEN!” She stamped the butt of the staff to the ground and unlocked Time Fury. “Massive Rewind!” A massive Time Bubble encased the entire town, and she began to repair the injuries of everyone in town.

“’ey, what’s the jiz with this frizzy biz?!” Lucky asked.

“I’ve healed all the people you injured.” MaKayla’s Fury disappeared. “And mark my words, I can do a lot worse if you hurt us any more.” _Except every time I use Time Fury, I lose 10 years of my lifespan._ “But since you need me so badly, then I’ll go with you if you promise to leave this town alone. But if you hurt anyone else, I’ll Fury Up and wipe you from existence.”

“Yow, chilly out, Clicky Clock.” Lucky raised hands in surrender. “We go all pacifist so y’all won’t have a hissy-fit. A’ight boys, let go o’ them missy fits.”

“MaKayla, are you crazy?!” George shouted.

“Relax, George. At least I might be able to visit Lola and Terry this way. For now, just stay and help repair the houses.”

The three could only watch as the Breakfast Club escorted her to their big-tired battleship. An elevator lowered from the hull, the six stepping on as they were lifted up to the ship. “And chi-blocked.” Hisoka immediately stuck a sticker to the back of her head.

“Uh—HEY!” Kayla whipped around—Tony and Trix grabbed her by the arms.

“Open wide.” Hisoka forced her mouth open and poured the vial of blood down her throat. Kayla choked and tried to spit it out… but in a moment, her blue eyes glowed pink.

“T…Terry…” MaKayla felt warm feelings from the thought of him. “Oh, Terry… I miss you, my darling…”

“It’s working.” Hisoka smirked. “She should be out of it for a while.”

“Yo, dafaq you gonna ruin all MY hard work.” Lucky stated. “Blast them boom-booms.”

As the ship rolled across town, cannons fired furiously and destroyed hundreds of surrounding homes, the horrified operatives rushing to repair what little they could. That was when pink beams struck the houses and turned them into chocolate. “Buu no like when mean kids ruin Buu’s friends’ playtime.” Majin Buu hovered above them, the operatives shock-ridden by his strange appearance. “Buu think you need time out in Buu’s tummy! Bibidi Babidi BUU!” He cast a beam at George and turned him into a white lollipop.

“Suki!” Miyuki threw a gray Time Bomb at her sister, and Suki vanished in an instant. A second later, Buu turned her into a peppermint.

“Huh? Where did other girl go? Oh well. Buu eat her later.” Buu picked up the timebenders and tossed them down his throat.

“Yo, Bibidi Bop, we ready to make a hole outta this fridge or what-what?” Lucky asked.

“Translation: is Buu ready to ditch Iceland? Buu says, ‘Yes’!” And so, the Majin took to the sky. Once the Breakfast Club made up for their lost progress, they returned to space, the evening restless from the head-pounding boombox. (End song.)

When Miyuki had struck Suki just now, she turned her sister into a very tiny sperm, Rewinding her age to pre-birth. However, the effect wore off just a moment after they left. Suki shook her head of the feeling and stood up. “I can’t believe I used to be a wormy in my mommy’s tummy.” She faced up at the ascending pirate ship. “Sister-chan…”

**Sector LN Base**

“Okay, I think I’ve made a pretty good rough draft for a magic show.” Akko said as she showed each of her friends her notebook. “Now we only have a month to rehearse and make the greatest birthday ever!”

“W-Wait a second!” Lotte flushed after reading the script. “You want me to… sing?!”

“Well, yeah! Queen Sherry LOVES musicals! And you have the voice of an angel, Lotte.”

“B-B-But I don’t do so well in front of crowds… especially when I have a g-g-gun to my head.” A waterfall of sweat trickled down her skin.

“Relax, we’ll just give all the students guns and aim them at you to help us rehearse.” Amanda joked.

“I’ve returned from Moonbase, everyone.” Diana announced as she reentered the room.

“Diana? What were you doing on Moonbase?”

“I requested the Supreme Leaders to summon some operatives from the Gem KND in New Galaxia. Specifically, ones that could tell about Pink Diamond and her weaknesses, considering the queen is using it for her power source.”

“And what did they say?” Lotte asked.

“Unfortunately… no one knew of any specific weaknesses Pink Diamond had. But it was rumored that all Gems who discovered this weakness were shattered, so they could never tell another soul. Furthermore… based on the Gem KND’s investigations, several pale Rose Quartzes were discovered. Since Pink Diamond was an advanced Rose Quartz, it’s possible that all those Gems were sacrificed and absorbed to restore power to the diamond, even though Pink Diamond’s soul could not be recalled. And the original Rose Quartz that once absorbed Pink Diamond’s essence never parted knowledge of the weakness unto anybody.”

“So, the only way to actually damage Sherry is to be stronger than her.” Amanda figured, recalling Akko’s recap of the Bowser story. “Otherwise, she’s invincible thanks to that Pink Diamond. Just like Pilaf said.”

_“It’s true, I’ve seen it myself!” Pilaf insisted. “Grandma fought with her own commanders, she was shot by battleship cannons, and she didn’t even get a scratch.”_

“No, but I do have a theory as to how she was revived.” Diana mentioned. “Remember when I fought Gruntilda? Her soul tried to escape from her skull, but I was able to call it back using a magic inscription designed to contain spirits. It’s possible that Queen Sherry was revived with the same spell. Likely put there by one of her crewmen. Unfortunately, if I can’t see for myself how the inscription was conjured, I won’t know how to properly undo it. If we only knew which member cast the spell, we could attempt to borrow their memories.”

“I bet you anything it was that genie thing she was with.” Amanda reminded.

“Maybe, but we can’t be certain.”

“Look, we can talk about this later.” Akko stated impatiently. “We need to start rehearsing, Diana. I know it doesn’t concern you as much because you won’t be executed, but to the rest of us, it’s a big deal!”

“How can you imply I—errgh!…” Diana pinched her nasal bridge. “Akko, I understand why you’re passionate about this, but we have to assume the worst case scenario. The odds are heavily against us. Whether we can provide a good performance or not, we must be ready with a plan of escape. For that reason… I have asked that Sector SD be ready on standby to provide us backup.”

“Wouldn’t Sector V be a better option?” Amanda asked.

“I don’t know if you know this, but Queen Sherry seems to disfavor Sector V. If we brought them to Sweetopia, the pirates would hold nothing back. Sector SD is the safer option in that regard. However, if it comes to an escape, Jasminka and I will have to fight, too, so the queen may punish us along with Luna Nova. It may be wise to have everyone evacuate regardless-”

“We can avoid ALL these problems if we just give her a good show!” Akko insisted. “Don’t you guys think that maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way? Everyone says Queen Sherry is an enemy, so obviously we’re supposed to think that, too. But when I spoke to her, she didn’t seem like a dangerous supervillain. She sounded like a real person with interests and feelings.”

“Even the part about cutting our heads off?” Sucy asked.

“Grrrr, you threaten to cut my head off among other things all the time! ! I really think we can change everyone’s impression of her when we give her this show. I think…I think she can be our friend.”

“Akko, even today, her pirates continue to raid towns and even kill people. Regardless if she seems to favor you, she is a threat. All her crewmen are. And as Kids Next Door, it is our duty to collect as much information as we can. Because one way or another, we will have to destroy her, too.”

“…Maybe we will… but it won’t be now. Right now, Queen Sherry is my fan. And I’ll give her a show or die trying. But if you guys don’t want to be a part of it, maybe you’ll be spared.”

“… … … Of course I want to be a part of it.” Diana said with a slight loss of breath.

“Me, too.” Lotte cried, lifting her glasses so they don’t get wet. “I could never forgive myself if I let you die because I wouldn’t sing.”

“I’m not scared of her.” Amanda stated. “What about you, Jasminka?”

“I’ll give it everything I have!”

“Yeah… we’ll do it.” Hannah nodded, Barbara agreeing. “Just tell us what you want us to do, Akko.”

“Then our rehearsal officially begins!”

**Mushroom World; Kongo Jungle**

“Damn those Big Mom Pirates!” a Kremling cursed as he and his crewmates chased a tower of Golden Bananas. “WE called dibs on the Kongs’ bananas LONG before they did!”

“Shut up and start shooting!” The crocodiles shot guns at the candy-made carriage.

“HO HO!” The guns were sliced by a bladed shield, which returned to its master. “If you wish to seize the Golden Bananas, you must first defeat me: General Tsao Chicken!” Their opponent was a humanoid chicken in purple samurai armor.

“Oi, we ain’t gonna chicken away from a chicken!” The Kremlings charged at Tsao, but the chicken swiftly cut them down with a katana.

“I am no chicken, imbeciles. I am of the Rito Tribe, and I am the strongest Rito of all. WAAAH!”

At that instant, Tsao was severed in half by a blue lightsaber, wielded by a blonde-haired woman in white khaki shorts and a blue top. “Should’ve stayed in your egg, chicken!”

_

Kremling Krew Kombatant  
NOAH HEART

_

“AR-HAR! THAT’S our Noah!” a Kremling cheered.

“Easy does it… eh?” However, when she looked down, Noah realized Tsao’s body had dissolved into an egg yolk.

The yolk swelled up, and in an instant, Tsao BURST out and onto the branch of a tree, clothed like a ninja as he whirled nun-chucks. “Oh, but it is not over easy, because with the power of the Egg-Egg Fruit, General Tsao has been reborn anew.”

“Dammit! Kremlings, go after the bananas, I’ll deal with this ninja.”

“Aye, Ma’am, he’s all yours!” The Kremlings resumed their pursuit.

“COCKA-DOODLE-DOOOOOO!” cried General Tsao.

 _“COCKA-DOODLE-DOOOOOO!”_ Suddenly, the sky was filled with ordinary Cuccos! The airborne chickens swarmed the Kremlings, knocking them down and pecking them into the ground.

Tsao dropped down and lashed the nun-chucks, but Noah severed them with her lightsaber. Tsao drew kunai instead, using Haki to harden them as they clashed with the saber. Noah glanced at her crewmates and yelled, “Come on, they’re just chickens, show them who’s boss!”

“We’re trying, but they are surprisingly effective!”

Tsao stabbed the kunai at Noah, but she flipped overhead and sliced him perfectly down the middle! Again, he morphed into an egg, so Noah furiously stabbed the yolk. The attack was ineffective as Tsao grew again, blowing Noah away as he popped out as a beefy sumo wrestler. “Ugh… enemies were never this annoying back in the old days.” Noah sighed.

**Sweetopia**

“Yawn…” Terry awoke to the sound of a running faucet and determined that his sister was using the Sweet Soap bath. Since he had already taken a bath last night, he decided to get dressed for the day. “Sigh… only a month of living in Sweet Land to go.”

“Hey, Terry!” His father knocked on his door. “Are you kids up yet, we got a surprise for you!”

With only the slightest curiosity as to what this could be, Terry answered the door. “GYUH-!”

He was staring at a mirror image of himself, but with slightly different clothes and yellow hair. “Are you my Negative or something?!”

“No, dude!” Bartie wrapped an arm around his neck. “I’m your dad! One of our cousins has age-reversing powers. We’re KIDS again!”

“Yeah, but what sucks though is I can’t smoke like this.” Virginia said, lighting a candycane cigarette. When she tried to smoke it, her 10-year-old body coughed from the disgusting taste.

“Hey, Terry, whatchu doing?” Lola asked, having come out of the bathroom. “WHAT THE FRICK?!” she yelped at the sight of their parents. “It’s US, except we switched hair colors!”

“Guess again!” Lala glomped them from behind. She was now an 8-year-old girl in a flower dress. “With Pilaf’s help, I can finally grow up with my brother and his girlfriend!”

“This is… so weird…” Lola said.

“Whoever this Pilaf is, I’m guessing he’s a timebender.” Terry figured.

“Well, shoot, we can just ask Miyuki to do this if we want to.”

“Who’s Miyuki?” Bartie asked.

“Miyuki. You know, our teammate. The gloomy chick?”

“First time we’ve heard of her.” Ginny replied.

“You’re…You’re joking, right?” Terry failed to see the humor in this joke.

Lola gasped. “What if Miyuki was turned into a toy by Sugar?! Just like Cheren was!”

“But then we would forget her, too.”

“Oh, yeah. …Didn’t really understand how her power worked, to be honest.”

“What’re you talking about now?” Ginny asked.

“You remember that green-haired girl who could turn people into toys?” Terry asked. “Then she grew from 10 to 23 in one month?”

“Is that from a show or something?”

“N-No, it…it really happened.”

“Bzzzzrbt!” An Ancient Robot from Planet Secco rolled up to them. “Lady Lala! The Broodals have come. They want to speak to the guests, szzzichor.”

“Oh! We better go see what this is.” Lala said, racing down the hall as fast as her little legs could.

As her family followed her, Pilaf, Shu, and Mai peeked out from another room. Pilaf’s two assistants were remarkably older than they were before. “Eh heh heh heh. It looks like it’s working.” Pilaf smirked. “Normally, Lala’s memory-wiping powers become nullified when something sparks the lost memories inside her victims. But when she uses them on people that I’ve age-regressed, the effect grows stronger. After all, if you never knew certain people when you were kids, you won’t remember them. Even after they turn back into adults.”

“But if Lala gets knocked out or something, the spell will wear off either way.” Shu said worriedly.

“Not if you keep your mouth shut! Besides, I’m sure Grandma has a backup plan just in case that happens.”

As the Storks followed Lala, Terry’s shadow flew ahead and examined her face. Tael could detect the faintest hint of doubt and regret within her three eyes. He never really sensed that before—but then again, emotions were a lot easier to see on a child’s face than an adult’s.

When they arrived at the front entrance, Lala stood on her tippy-toes to answer the door. “Ah, hello Minister… Lala?” The Broodal, Topper cocked a brow at her young appearance. The other Broodals were behind him. “Ahem… we’ve been sent by Great Grandma. She wants to speak to the boy.”

Lala glanced behind at her brother and her nephew. “Ugh, she means the brown-haired boy!” Harriet stated.

“What the hell does she want me for?!” Terry asked.

“Don’t ask questions! Just come with us!” Topper demanded, his heart racing in fear.

“Does she have to right now?” Lala asked sadly. “I was hoping to spend a nice, fun day with the family.”

“We’ll bring him right back afterwards. Just let us get this over with.”

Terry fixed a glare on them. “Only if they can come with me.”

“Only you. Grandma wants to give you something special.”

Terry glanced at his sister. She felt equally as suspicious as he did. “Fine. Then let’s get it over with.”

Terry joined the Broodals aboard the _Bridal Barge_. Just as he did with Lala, Tael could see the fear in the rabbits’ eyes as well.

**Meatropolis**

“I feel like I might be overy-acting,” the Butcher opened his heart to the customer, “but I feel like the boss doesn’t take me seriously. Maybe it’s ’cause of the way I mispronce words. But it’s not my fault, honest.” He pronounced the ‘H’ in that word. “I mean, you know what I mean?”

“Oh, Gramma understands.” Gramma Stuffum replied understandingly. “Zere are things Gramma is not good at herself. Like making a little boy swell with haggis intestines.”

“Well, at least someone in the family understands.” Butcher smiled. “I just wish I could help my crew more. But no matter what, I get my butt kicked. Ham-alanch, Salami Slam, Chicken Pot Pow.” He formed meat that represented the attacks. “But it never works, and General Tsao starts calling me names.”

“You ever feel like zis is maybe not ze right line of work for you?”

“Mmm… maybe a little…”

Unfortunately, their conversation was making the line of customers angry. “Well, it looks like we won’t be eating there.” Lola figured, the family riding a Lakitu cloud. “Why can’t we go to the Breakfast Backstreets?”

“Because that’s the Breakfast Club’s turf.” Lala answered. “Even family members are scared of them. They might not kill you, but you won’t feel the same after an encounter with them.”

Bartie cocked a brow. Seeing the hint of upset on his sister’s face brought back memories. “Speaking of not feeling the same, you don’t look so good, Lala. Are you tired or something?”

“Nope!” Lala beamed. “Just… got a lot on my mind. What, with being married to a guy that doesn’t like me. You think Jack would find it weird, seeing me like this?”

“Nah, Jack is kind of a child himself deep down.” Ginny shrugged. “Still, if you two don’t get used to each other, nothing wrong with a long-distance marriage.”

“Hm hm hm… if only we all had that luxury…”

**Whole Cake Chateau**

When the ship landed at the start of the bridge, the Broodals walked with Terry to the castle gates. The fear in their hearts grew with every step that brought them closer to the Breakfast Club at the entrance. “Ahem… w-w-w-we’ve brought the boy.” Harriet stuttered.

“Yaw, that’s diggeh dog, ya chickety ribbity.” Lucky replied, flashing gold teeth as always.

“Ehm… what?”

“HE SAID ‘THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIM, YOU DUMB RABBIT’!” Trix shouted.

“OKAY, I’M SORRY! P-Please!”

“Nah, it’s chilly-willy, Hairy Berry.” Lucky came and put an arm around Terry. “We take the trubuh from here, bruduh. _Sniiiiiiiifffff…”_ He decided to press his nose into Topper’s head, the lead Broodal shaking in his fur. _“Ah always liked you da best, Timmeh Turndog.”_

And with that, the Breakfast Club escorted Terry into the castle. It was clear the Broodals were merely afraid of this group, but Terry felt they were the least of his worries now. What scared him more, for some reason, was the pudgy pink marshmallow that waited before Grandma’s throne. “Hi, Cousin Terry. Grandma will be happy to see you. Buu know you be happy to see this. Aaaaaa…”

The Majin opened his mouth like a vortex and- “AAAAAH!” swallowed Terry in one great gulp. He miraculously seemed to shrink as he slid all the way down to Buu’s stomach. “!!” His face going pale, George King and Miyuki Crystal were encased in red cocoons. “G…Guys?!”

“POO!” And Terry went flying out of the Majin’s air holes, poofing back to normal size in a blink. “YOU! What’ve you done to them?!”

“Don’t be scared, Terry.” Buu replied sweetly. “Buu let friends live if Terry do what Grandma says.”

“Huh huh, don’t keep her waiting.” Captain Crunch pushed open the giant door.

Feeling as if an unseen force were controlling him, Terry walked into the throne room. Still guarding the chamber, Roger the Alien would listen intently.

**Throne Room**

“A beautiful magic show… a fantastic side-dish to come with my holy Family Cake.” A pink cake of Psychic Chi drifted above the queen, with Akko’s little likeness swirling around it. “It will be like eating TWO heavenly meals for the price of one!”

“Yes, yes… I’m sure it will be a very wonderful show.”

“Speaking of which, Goomnut.” Sherry fixed a malicious glare on her little mushroom “It seems that you don’t enjoy the young witch’s company. Mark my words, I will know if you use your power to disrupt the show. And if you do… I will squash you FIRST!”

“Eh-!” The minister flushed red. “No, I would never do such a thing, Your Highness!” _Drat, that’s exactly what I planned to do. Perhaps Her Majesty DOES have a plan… at least, I would like to hope that’s the case._

The creaking doors echoed, letting light into the dark room. A giant table divided Terry from Great Grandma, but stairs were available to bring the boy up to her. “You’ve arrived, my grandson.” Taking the cue, Goomnut took his leave, the door sealing the room. “Please, have a cup of cocoa.” Two humanoid kids with cupheads offered Terry to drink from them via straws.

Terry pushed the Cupheads down and marched closer. “Why have you captured my friends?!”

“Terry… why don’t we stop playing this game of pretend and cut to the facts?” Sherry rose to full height and approached her descendant imposingly. “I know you aren’t just here to fulfill the conditions of my invitation. You’re here on KND duty to spy on me. And I’m sure there are other operatives related to me that have flocked to my planet. I don’t really care about them. You, however… I have a _very_ good feeling about you.”

“Wait a minute…” Realization dawned on him. “My parents didn’t remember our friends… It was Lala! You made Lala DO something, DIDN’T YOU?!”

“My sweet Lala only wishes to relive the childhood that she lost with her brother. She could have easily returned to you after Charlotte’s defeat… but instead, she chose to live in peace with the rest of her family. And she wants that for the rest of you. To forget the troubles of your old home life, the burdens of the KND, and live with your sweet grandma. So you see, Terry… you are not visiting Sweetopia. You are _moving_ here.”

“The HELL I will! I’ll beat the shit out of that marshmallow, take my friends, and get the hell out of here!”

“Poor, sweet grandson…” Sherry softly stroked Terry’s chin with her giant finger. “I know change isn’t an easy thing to grasp… but you’ll find it might be better than you think. After all, 5,000 years in the Spirit World have given me plenty of time to catch up on things… and nothing has captured my heart more than fairytales.” She stepped around the table that her descendant was on. Prometheus and Zeus loomed overhead imposingly.

_I admit that in the past, I’ve been a nasty_

_When the candy wouldn’t come, I’d flip a switch! *snaps fingers, and a flicker of pink psychic*_

_I’d get hungry, I’d get mad_

_Killed some pirates, they were sad_

_Slaughtered hundreds, maybe thousands_

_That was it! True? Yes…_

_But since then, I tried to be a little better…_

_Married off and had some children of my own *brushes her hand over the air, forming pink figures that represented numerous races*_

_And those children married off_

_To my in-laws, big and strong *those figures branched off into hundreds of descendants*_

_Now my family’s huge and my crew has really grown_

_PATHETIC! *she swiped the family tree away*_

_POOR unfortunate souls! *she stomps around the table behind Terry*_

_In pain… in need… *she lowers her face beside Terry, her expression mock sadness*_

_This one wants to be a flower, this one wants to be a cloud *figures form in her palms*_

_And do I help them? *she snaps, and they transform into those shapes* Yes indeed!_

Sherry grabbed Terry and carried him around.

_Those poor unfortunate souls_

_So sad… So true… *pink figures spawn around the floor, bowing to the queen*_

_They come flocking to my planet, saying_

_“Shelter, Grandma, please!”_

_And I help them? *snaps fingers, and all the figures have lollipops* Yes, I do!_

Sherry set Terry back on the table, close to the Cupheads.

_Now, it’s happened once or twice *draws a cake knife from her cleavage*_

_Someone couldn’t “Leave or Life” *the Cupheads panic and try to run*_

_And I’m afraid I had to see their heads would roll… *she swings the knife and beheads the Cupheads, Terry horrified*_

_Sure, you might just lose a limb! *shrugs, and then her face turns grim*_

_Or you MIGHT end UP like **HIM**! *she whips Augustus’s mask out of her cleavage*_

_And those POOR unfortunate SOOOOUUUULS…_

Sherry marched over to a bowl of cookies, donuts, and cupcakes, trembling before her towering presence. She grabs a handful and throws them in her mouth as she sits down. “Ah ha ha ha ha! Ma ma ma ma! But that’s enough about me! Let’s talk about YOU for a second… Someone important is here to see you.” She reached into a giant present, grabbed something, and plopped it down beside Terry.

“M…MaKayla?” It certainly seemed like his friend, only her eyes were brimming pink as opposed to blue.

“She’s a little inebriated. Must’ve been something in her drink.” Sherry’s rotten teeth grinned.

“Mmmmm…” MaKayla hugged Terry and began softly kissing him. “Terry . . . I never realized how good you taste…”

“W…What did you do to her?!”

“I gave her a taste of the family blood. Or should I say… yours.” Terry was royally repulsed by this statement. “MMMMA MA MA! Can you imagine my luck that one of my descendants would be friends with the Keeper of the Great Clock? Now, once the two of you are married, we will have power over TIME as well!”

“Y-You can’t be serious! E-Even if I did like MaKayla… I couldn’t use her for that!”

“Oh, I think you will. You see, I’ve gone easy on the Kids Next Door until now.” She grabbed another handful of sweets. “But if you refuse to cooperate… I will show them NO MERCY!” She crushed the sweets as their little souls flew out. “Starting with your amoeba-sized friends.”

“B-But, we aren’t even old enough!”

“Yes, on YOUR planet, maybe. But on MY planet, I can marry off whoever I please! I can wed children to adults, an infant to a cucumber! On Sweetopia, there are no barriers between true love!”

“That’s… DISGUSTING! MaKayla, snap out of it!” Terry slapped the brainwashed girl, but her infatuation for him was unaffected.

“Ma ma ma! Come on, boy, why do you protest? All my other children are married to people they don’t even know, yet YOU’RE lucky enough to marry the one you love! The two of you will be living a life of luxury!”

“But, I-”

“YOU’LL HAVE YOUR WIFE!” Terry was startled by her sudden shout. “Your cooks and maids!” She walked away, swaying her rear. “And DON’T underestimate the powers… of BODY LANGUAGE!” She whipped around, jiggling her breasts. “HA!”

_The women here don’t like a lot of blabber!_

_They think a guy with looks is quite the prize! *she pressed Terry and Kayla together*_

Terry tried to speak to her, but Sherry stuck a beignet in his mouth.

_See, in here it’s much preferred_

_For men to never say a word_

_And if they do, then I might cook them into pies! *Prometheus burned a giant pie as souls flew out of it*_

_I’m not all that impressed by your lame teammates!_

_An albino and that white-haired emo FREAK!_

_See, our Sweet Gene is the key_

_To delicious victory_

_Or else, IT’S A KND KILLING SPREE! *psychic treehouses formed, and they burst into flame*_

Prometheus ignited and highlighted Sherry’s form while Zeus rumbled with thunder.

_COME ON, YOU_

_Poor unfortunate soul!_

_GO AHEAD! Take your wife! *she forced the two to hug*_

_I’m a very busy pirate, and I haven’t got all day_

_It won’t cost much…_

_JUST YOUR LIFE! *she slammed the table and made them bounce*_

_You POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL!_

_It’s sad… but true!_

_If you want to leave my planet, though_

_You have to pay a toll *she pulled out a roulette wheel and spun it*_

_Give an arm, or a leg, or else YOUR ASS can take a stroll!_

_ZEUS! PROMETHEUS! Now I got him boys_

_Big MOM is ON a ROOOOOLL!_

Terry was too afraid to let go of Kayla, glancing up at the wicked woman. Pink flames ignited as she sung her last notes.

_You POOR! UN! FORTUNAAAAATE! SOOOOOUUUUULLLL!_

The screen grew darker as her insane expression moved in. Only her cake-covered laughing teeth were visible. “MMMMA MA MAAAAAA!”

**Party Plaza; February 15**

A few miles behind Whole Cake Chateau, a great long bridge stretched across the juicy sea to a secluded island cake. For most of the year, it was empty and lonely, but on this very special day, it was packed with family, friends, and any lucky citizens who could afford to attend. On this one day a year, this Party Plaza was broadcast for all the worlds to see.

_“Good morning, people of the universe. Today marks a very special occasion on the Food Planet of Sweetopia, as people from all over gather to celebrate Grandma’s Day!”_

_“That’s right, Lynda. Due to the recent and possibly ungodly resurrection of Queen Sherbet Linlin, the Sweetians rejoice as they honor their Grandma on her long-awaited 66th birthday. Our president, Big Bird, has been fortunate enough to receive an invitation to the event. And judging by his annoying singing, he seems to be having one hell of a time.”_

_BIG NEWWWWWS!_

_My savior has arrived_

_My intuition’s never been so stroooong!_

A river of people were flowing across the bridge and flooding into the party grounds. Giant sentient fountain cups were pouring waterfalls of tea and juice, allowing attendees to fill as much as they pleased. Big Bird gleefully danced with camera in hand, his Muppet friends dancing to the rhythm.

_BIG NEWWWWWS!_

_My career has been revived_

_All I needed was Big Mama’s_

_Invitation all along_

_Take a party-loving Yonko_

_Add flare from some witches_

_An undead Pumpkin King_

_And his three-eyed fiancée!_

Lala’s arm was wrapped around Jack’s, the king not bothering to look her in the eye as they showed the guard their invitations. Akko happily skipped up next and presented her card, the Nine Witches cloaked in white garbs.

_And big neeewwwwws_

_REAL BIG NEWS_

_That poor sucker saved the daaaaaay_

And down beneath the island dwelled a secret kitchen with a massive oven. Tonio Trussardi and his chefs were hard at work with the final touches of his masterpiece. _“Soft and fluffy~ Moist and fluffy~”_ Tonio sang with an operatic voice. _“Life… There’s no such thing!”_ The Rainbow Lollipop, Magic Caramels, Licorice Stalks, Fourth Flavor, and other marvelous wonders were lost within dough and flour. _“A life of torment, the taste of tears~ (A pinch of salt) Tears of mortification~ (A tablespoonful)_

 _“If that’s how it is, at least for your dessert!”_ The finished cake towered like an idol, and murals were created from the icing. _“Don’t you want some sweet cake?”_ Tonio stuffed the leftover dough into the mouths of his chefs.

 _“O TONIO~”_ They bowed to him like a demigod.

King Mickey Mouse watched the party from the safety of his castle, paying especially close attention to Akko. He felt just as excited for what she could pass for a magic show.

And at Luna Nova, everyone amassed in the auditorium, praying with all prayer that their classmates would survive. “I can’t believe Akko gets to be on Intergalactic News.” Wangari said in envy.

“Oi, is that the only thing you care about? You loco.” Verde remarked.

“At least if she screws up, we know they won’t take it out on the school.” Teresa mentioned.

“Don’t say such a thing!” Finnelan stated. “This affects ALL of us! And even so, those nine deserve our support!”

“Please come home safely, Akko…” Molly McIntyre spoke in a very low whisper. The dark-skinned witch still longed to repay the debt she owed to Akko.

“We believe in you…” Ursula said, her heart racing with every minute before the show.

 _“Soft and fluffy…”_ Mr. Jelly, Cuppa Joe, and their Brotherhood friends stepped into the party with calm auras. _“Moist and fluffy…”_ Queen Sherry was descending from the sky on Zeus.

“Ahh, my little witches are here.” Sherry beamed. “I can feel it, Minister… this is going to be a WONDERFUL day for me!”

 

**The “Unfortunate Souls” and “Big News” parodies were both made by Rogersbase on YouTube. General Tsao is from _Sly 3_ ; lol remember how the Cuccos attack you in the _Zelda_ games? Well, the moment we all awaited is finally here! Stay tuned for the big show.**


	7. Because She Is My Friend!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko gives Queen Sherry the best birthday party ever.

**You ever get that feeling where you’re scheduled to give a presentation for a project you’ve been working on and you’re like super nervous? Well, that’s the feeling that Akko’s side-plot is supposed to represent. Because nothing is more relatable than the threat of execution. :)**

**…Wow, I gave myself goosebumps while writing this plot twist…**

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Chapter 7: Because She Is My Friend!

_**

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**Party Plaza**

“Listen to those Big WOOS as guests flock in from all across the universe!” Big Bird declared as the plaza was bouncing with sentient tables, cups, and sweets. “Watch as they all line up and present to Great Grandma their luxurious gifts! From the galactic mine of Knowhere in the Nicklodia Galaxy, it’s the Collector, Taneleer Tivan!”

“Good morning, Your Majesty.” Tivan bowed to the queen. “For a gift, I present to you, this Precursor Egg, the last relic of a fallen kingdom.” He held up a large green gem with a strange 8-like symbol.

“Aaaaahh! It’s beautiful!” Sherry wept as she picked the stone up. “This will look great on a wedding ring!”

“I’m delighted, Your Grace.” And with that, Tivan turned away, crying as he took a seat at a table.

“From Nicklodia’s Avatar Realms,” continued Big Bird, “it is the Princess of the Earth Kingdom, Hou-Ting!”

“TEE HEE HEE HEE!” laughed the 21-year-old princess, garbed in yellow and dark-green. “Happy birthday, Queen Sherbet! For my gift, I have brought this extremely rare BEAR!” Her guards had a sad-looking bear leashed by the neck.

“A BEAR?!” Sherry shouted with frustration. “Do you seriously believe that an ordinary bear is a suitable gift… Wait… the Avatar Realms should only have hybrid animals! Which means… this creature is one of a kind!” Sherry happily picked the bear up and squeezed it like a toy. “OH, you’ll look great in my zoo of mythical beasts!”

“Hello, Queen Sherry.” Princess Éclair was next in line, holding a golden compass whose interior was divided in seven colored pieces. “My gift to you will be the Marvelous Compass, the national treasure of my kingdom.”

“Oh, I am ever so grateful!”

Diana’s family occupied a table, next to Jasminka’s family. A mermaid girl named Sara was there: she had pink hair, a pink tail, and tannish skin. Sara remembered three years ago, when she helped Sector V in their quest to stop the old Big Mom. How ironic that she would be a Linlin, too.

The Scooby-Doo Gang was also here, thanks to Scooby and Shaggy’s relation. The two were happily devouring a tower of food. “It’s quite a mystery how all these objects can dance and sing.” Fred said.

“Like, here’s a real mystery: why have we been the same age for 67 years?” Shaggy asked.

“Must re a rime ristortion from the Reat Rock. Nee heeheeheehee!” Scooby snickered.

“Uncle Taco, Uncle Taco, we want hot sauce!” The Kiddie Corn crowded the Tostarenan excitedly.

“Spoon needs some too-soup.” Soup replied.

“Easy, little niños and niñas, one at a time!” Ernesto laughed, pouring sauce onto the children’s meat.

“There’s plenty for everybody!” Pea was riding her uncle’s sombrero, serving sauce to children behind him.

“Hey-hey, howza jowza bowza?” Lucky greeted the party-goers, many of whom kept a safe distance from the cereal killers. Compared to the others, their table felt very secluded. “’Membah to swing by Juicy Milky Juicy’s stand-bar for a slippity-slurp of Fleshy Flurp.”

“Translation: visit Sexy Smoothie’s Juice Bar for a healthy drink of Substance Smoothies.” Buu informed.

“Substance Smoothies?” Lotte asked as her friends approached the bar. “That’s a weird name.”

“Not weird at all.” Smoothie replied with a smile. “With the power of the Squeeze-Squeeze Fruit, I can make a drink out of anything. Would you like… volcanic rock?” The long-legged Amazon lifted a molten rock and squeezed the lava into a glass. Amazingly, the glass didn’t melt. It was merely hot juice. “How about Frost Dragon?” She casually pulled out a dragon by its neck from her Infi-Sack, squeezing the poor creature as ice-cold juice poured into the glass. “Or, our specialty, Powerpuff Punches!”

Smoothie lifted the Powerpuff Girls – Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup – and squeezed their liquids into a single glass. “P-Please… help us…” Blossom moaned, their bodies dry and shriveled.

The witches were horrified by this. “…I’ll have the Lava Juice.” Sucy replied.

“I’ll just take a regular smoothie.” Lotte said fearfully. “Is it… really okay to treat people like that?”

“Don’t worry, they’ll turn back after they drink something.”

“Okay…” Lotte glanced up at a banner that was close to the queen. Between the _HAPPY GRANDMA’S DAY_ , a strange mask with sunglasses and blonde hair was mounted on it. She could almost hear the voice of a spirit inside it. “I get a bad feeling from this place.”

“Hey Mom, mind if I get something for my cousins real quick?” Sasha came and asked.

“Sasha, you have to learn how to wait in line like everybody else.” Smoothie replied.

“But they’re thirsty! C’mon, pleeeaaase?”

“Ugh. Fine, give them these Korok drinks.” She grabbed two Koroks (wooden children with leaf faces) and squeezed the essence out of them.

Sasha picked up the cups in her fingers and brought them to Lola and Terry. “Here ya go, champs! My mom’s smoothies are the best!”

“She has quite the legs on her, huh?” Bartie noticed.

“Yeah, some Amazonians are like that. But don’t you go flirting with her, Mom’s already set! Isn’t she, Dad?!” Sasha reached to her right and picked up a beefy man in a cowboy hat.

“She certainly is, sweetheart.” The man sighed.

“YOU’RE Sasha’s DAD?!” Ginny exclaimed. She would have expected another giant, not a normal-sized human.

“Yep! So, that’s how you can tell it’s true love.” Sasha raised two fingers and winked. “Speaking of, you kids got any crushes?”

“Go fuck off.” Terry told her.

“What?! Ehh, well excuse me!” Sasha replied in offense. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you all month! A bit playful, maybe, but I don’t think I deserve-”

“Just leave us alone!” Lola stated.

“Do what she says, Sasha.” Mr. Blouse requested. “Whatever is troubling them, give them time to calm down.”

“Sigh… Fine.” And so, the Amazon let them be.

“What’s been bothering you kids, anyway?” Ginny asked. “You’ve been like this ever since Grandma asked Terry to babysit the Kiddie Corn.”

Terry grit his teeth so hard, they almost shattered. Lola shared his feelings.

However, when Sasha left, Sucy noticed the family. “Hey, it’s Lola, the girl I met in November.”

“Oh, wow! Wanna go see them?” Lotte asked.

“Sure.” The two casually approached the Storks. “Hey, Lola.”

“Oh, Sucy!” The vampire perked up. “Don’t tell me YOU’RE our cousin, too!”

“No, just Jasminka. You wanna suck my blood again?”

“I don’t feel like blood…”

“Is something the matter?” Lotte asked.

_Nothing except our teammates are probably being digested._

“What’d you say?” She faced Terry in shock.

“Huh? I didn’t say anything.”

The shadow, Tael perked up: apparently, the blonde witch could hear shadows. He flew up to Lotte’s shadow and whispered, _Our teammates are trapped inside that pink marshmallow thing. They’re trying to force Terry to marry MaKayla, or else they’ll be killed._ Lotte gasped, turning toward the Breakfast Booth. Majin Buu was happily eating plate after plate of candy.

Glaring at the genie, Lotte approached Diana. “Diana, you see that pink thing? He’s the Majin, right?”

“Yes. They live above Sindria, where Sector SD is located. They’re masters of wandless magic and live for hundreds of years. They also have gelatin bodies capable of regeneration, but doing so costs them energy.”

“Right. …Diana, listen-”

“Oh, ladies?” Lotte flinched when Minister Goomnut approached them. “You are scheduled to go up in 10 minutes.”

“Oh, dear! We better go set up!” Akko exclaimed.

“This way, please.” Goomnut escorted them to the stage, where a secret hatch and stairwell took them underneath.

Lola and Terry also noticed the Brotherhood villains, keeping to their selves at their own table, and Mother Mae-Eye really helped them stand out. However, the two saw no point in spying on them—these villains were the least of their problems.

The Butcher brought the supervillains some food. “Here you are: some meat fries, meat lettuce, meat milk, and some veggie steak. Haha, just kidding, it’s meat.” The Butcher smirked to himself as he walked away.

When Mr. Jelly pulled off a lettuce leaf, he read the message: _The Patty is set._

“Good… we better hope Robin Food can pull this off.” Jelly said quietly.

“Feel like dancing, Jackie?” Lala asked her groom-to-be.

“No.” He answered, scowling. Lala frowned.

“Ah, Mr. Skellington?” Jack cocked a brow when Tivan approached him.

“Oh, it’s you. The Collector.”

“Yes, now, forgive me, but I believe you and Sandman promised me the safe return of Horror’s Hand?”

“Sorry, the hand was destroyed.”

“Ho ho ho.” Tivan got close to him and whispered, “Jack, I think we both know of the spirit that inhabited Horror’s Hand.”

“That is not my concern. Good day, Tivan.” Jack walked away. Tivan only looked at him with disappointment.

“Say, Great Grandma?” Big Bird held a microphone up to the queen. “Since you are the woman of the hour, could you tell us what you plan to do after this special day?”

“Well, Big Bird, I have big plans in the upcoming month!” Sherry grinned maliciously. “With all the weddings I have yet to plan, time just seems to slip away. Hm hm ma ma ma. You remember what it was like to be a kid? When you wanted everything, and you got everything, and then you just want more? It never seems to change, does it?”

“I couldn’t agree with you more, Grandma.”

**Planet Avalar; Sector SD Treehouse**

A treehouse grew out of a great palace in the center of a prosperous desert island. Within that base, four operatives were watching the news. “So, that’s what the old hag looks like.” The leader commented, a 14-year-old boy with smooth blonde hair, gold eyes, white Arabian clothes, and black boots. “Heh, if I was Big Bird, I’d be shittin’ my pants.”

_

Leader of Sector SD  
“Numbuh 1,001” ALIBABA SALUJA

_

“Damn that old hag!” yelled a green alien boy with antennas and a white and red robe. “Smiling like she owns the world! I can’t wait until we teach her a lesson!”

_

Healer of Sector SD, a Namekian  
“Numbuh Seven Star” DENDE

_

“Calm down, Dende.” replied a 10-year-old blonde girl with a braid on her right, a red headband with a feather, and golden leg wraps with wings above her bare feet. “We’re not trying to defeat the pirates, Sector LN asked us to back them up in case things get ugly.”

_

Animal Telepath of Sector SD, an Artemyran  
“Numbuh Sing” PISTI ARTEMINA

_

“Well, I have the Vanishing Box ready in case we need it.” The fourth boy had blue eyes and hair in a long ponytail, a blue open vest over his bandaged chest, and puffy white pants. He was 11 years old and also had a red gem on his forehead. “Too bad we can’t be there now. Queen Sherry is _sooooo biiiiiig~”_ He smooshed his cheeks together.

“Get ahold of yourself.” Alibaba remarked.

_

Mage of Sector SD  
“Numbuh 3 Wishes” ALADDIN

_

“Grrr…” Dende could not contain his scorn for the woman. These pirates destroyed his homeworld, left millions of Namekians scattered and homeless, and they party like none of it mattered. “Sigh… focus on the mission, Dende.”

**Akko’s Apartment**

“Hurry up, honey! Our daughter’s about to go onstage!” Mrs. Kagari shouted excitedly.

“You’ve been saying that for the past hour.” Mr. Kagari replied, getting a drink from the refrigerator. “It’ll probably be another 10 minutes.”

“Can you believe Akko is actually doing a show for an actual queen?! Do you think she’s being paid?! Oh God, we’re going to be so RICH!” Her eyes seemed to turn into gems.

“Say, haven’t I seen that queen on posters a few times?” the father asked, coming to the TV. “I think they were wanted posters…”

“You’re probably thinking of someone else.”

**Party Plaza**

Beneath the stage, Sector LN had just finished setting up the stage, and Hannah dressed the respective performers in their uniforms. Sucy cast a spell to shrink Amanda down to doll size as Jasminka picked her up. “Gotta say, if I’m gonna die today, I might as well die in the hands of my buddy.” Amanda remarked.

“Hee hee hee.” Jasminka blushed.

“We’re not going to die, okay?” Akko stated.

“I know, but still… I’m so nervous.” Lotte replied.

“I am, too. But we can do this. We practiced.”

“What if the pirates attack us or something?”

“Queen Sherry won’t let them. I can tell she really wants this magic show. Just stay calm and sing, Lotte.”

“Sigh… Okay, Akko.”

“Alright, everyone in position.” The others hurried behind the stage designs while Lotte climbed onto a platform. Inside, Akko’s heart was pounding with fear and anxiety. It was the first time she was asked to do a live show, the first time an audience was directly expecting her to entertain them. She took a deep breath and exhaled. She tried to forget the threat of execution and focus only on the show. Yes… this was her moment.

Pawtucket Pat tapped his cane on a glass of beer. “Attention, everyone!” The chattering ceased. “Thank you all for coming, I hope you’re all enjoying the party. We still have plenty of food to go, but please keep alcohol away from the children.”

“YOU SHOULD SHARE WITH THEM!!” Trix bellowed.

“Settle down, Trix. Now then… we have invited special guests to perform a magic show. These witches from Avalar’s Luna Nova have been personally asked by Her Highness to perform for us. Ladies and gentlemen: Shiny Luna!”

The sky mysteriously seemed to turn dark as a rainy blue curtain covered the stage. Silence completely fell over the party as shadows appeared behind it.

_“Laaaaa la la laaaa, la la laaaa la la laaaa…”_

As the curtain rose to the sky, everyone was entranced by the mountains of cake under an artificial starlit sky. The crescent moon had a candle sticking out of it. Lotte’s hands were folded on a high platform, her gown blending beautifully with the night. She spoke with the voice of an angel. _“A long time ago, in a faraway land… In a world laid bare by the Demon Clan… A Prince and a Princess played together in harmony.”_

Jasminka danced her way onstage, wearing a banana-colored dress with pink ridges, making her look like a sweet little cake. As she whirled around, she hugged a small figure to her chest: a miniaturized Amanda, who was sharing in Jasminka’s joyous laughter. _“O Princess~ How large thou are! Taller than the tallest mountains afar!”_

“Now, this seems oddly familiar…” Sherry stroked her chin. Goomnut rolled his eyes at her obliviousness.

 _“Indeed, her faithful people gather at her feet.”_ With one last twirl, the ground sparkled around Jasminka, taking the shape of many tiny figures. _“The mermaids~ The angels~ ‘O Princess,’ they greet! ‘May we share this beautiful realm with you?’ With fluffy cheeks, she responds-”_

“Of course, Sillypoo~” said Jasminka.

The children in the audience giggled while the adults cringed. Goomnut spared a repulsed glance up at Her Majesty—the blush on her cheeks told him her heart had melted at the silly line. Was she actually enjoying this?

A quiet, yet energetic fanfare began to play as the tiny angels fluttered around Jasminka like butterflies. She giggled and tried to catch the little creatures, and in doing so—“WHOA!” Jasminka splashed into a pool. The water swelled and became a floating bubble, Jasminka holding her breath as she whirled around inside of it. The mini mermaids swum in the current, surfing around and around the rotating princess. As the bubble grew brighter from their light, it BURST, Jasminka dropping to the ground as a rainbow stretched above her.

“Oh…” Jasminka gazed up in awe when the rainbow morphed into a snake dragon. The dragon swooped around and swirled around the curious princess before returning to the sky. Then, the dragon fell into pieces, and those pieces were dozens of tasty candies.

_“The princess had all that she wanted, from friends to luscious candy. There was nothing in the world that could make her more happy. But then, something strange happened…”_

“My Prince?” The candy dissolved into dust. Darkness descended upon the land as sadness filled Jasminka’s heart. “O Prince… where did you go?” Soon, even the stars were invisible. Jasminka’s tears soaked the sweet ground. “Where did all my friends go? Have they left me? Am I. . . all alone? . . .”

“I don’t understand.” Sherry whispered. “They were with her until a second ago. Where did they go, Goomnut?!”

 _Don’t tell me you are actually liking this garbage!_ Thought the minister, his head pounding.

Her role done for now, the tiny Amanda scurried behind the stage as Sucy zapped her back to normal size.

_“But the princess looks up, and LO! Up in the sky, a single star is shone!”_

A shining star lit up the heaven, and Jasminka’s eyes grew wide as it fell to the earth. A second before it could touch the surface, the star BURST, and from the light, there came a shining witch of pure white light, riding a three-brush broom. “HELLO, Princess!” Akko proclaimed with vibrant crimson eyes. “I am the Shiny Witch! I’ve come to make your day shiny!”

“Miss Shiny Witch, I can’t find my Prince or my friends.”

“Then I’ll take you to go find them!” Akko whooshed around the air, leaving a glittery trail with the Shiny Balai. “It’ll be a piece of cake in the Land of Dreams!”

“What’s the Land of Dreams?”

“In the Land of Dreams, you can have whatever you want!” Akko halted in front of Jasminka. “And you can be anything: like a mouse!” She poofed into mouse form. “Or an elephant!” She burst into a large form. “Or mix ’em up together!” Her body became that of a mouse, but the elephant head looked at her body and cried, “WAAAAAHH!” and scampered off in fear.

Laughter rang throughout the audience, save for the more serious members. Tivan chuckled and clapped, Lala and Sasha were giggling. Bartie and Ginny enjoyed the act, but their children could not feel the same. Sherry’s chortling was heavily audible, much to Goomnut’s chagrin.

“Oh my gosh, she’s actually enjoying it!” Ursula said with hope.

“Please, don’t mess this up, Miss Kagari…” Finnelan prayed.

“But how can we go to the Land of Dreams?” Jasminka asked.

“That’s an easy one, silly! Just close your eyes and believe with all your heart.”

So, the princess closed her eyes. “Nnnnn, should I close my eyes, too?!” Sherry hissed, trembling. “If I don’t, it might ruin the show! But if I do, I might miss it!”

“Just don’t, Your Majesty!” Goomnut hissed.

 _“And the Shiny Witch WHISKED them away with a single spell!”_ declared Lotte as Akko summoned the Shiny Arc. _“And the name of that spell IS…!”_ And Akko loosed a great arrow to the sky and gave life to the stars!

_Soul Pocus~ Soul Pocus~_

_The words of the soul_

_O’er stars and skies and sea_

_Spurring tales of old!_

Akko became a winged elephant and threw Jasminka onto her back. She raised to the sky, soaring above the clouds as Stanbot birdies flew all around!

_Our princess~ Fair princess_

_Sugar is hardly thy focus_

_As enchanted flowers, sweets, and trees_

_Sing the sweetest Soul Pocus_

_“Soul Pocus~ Soul Pocus~ Soul Pocus~”_ The cups and foods danced upon the stage. Trees and flowers sung across the kingdom. Akko became a dolphin and carried Jasminka across a floating stream that flowed all around the Party Plaza, many heads rotating to watch them. Diana was the one controlling the water, her focus steady and firm. Hannah and Constanze were keeping the holograms and illusions consistent.

_The Land of Dreams_

_What wonders await?_

_Our princess seeks it_

_Following her fate!_

The water disappeared as Akko transformed into a centaur, carrying a joyous Jasminka on her back. Amanda used Levitation Magic to help the four-legged witch stay afloat. Akko whooshed the Shiny Rod and released colorful bubbles, which grew mouths and giggled with glee!

_What a sweet, alluring scent_

_To draw in hundreds all around_

_A sweet, harmonic song_

_By she who wears the crown_

When Akko finally returned them to the stage, she conjured a golden glowing crown above Jasminka’s head (actually, Diana did it). Slowly, the crown planted itself on, and the princess glowed as flowers grew around the plaza. _“Soul Pocus~ Soul Pocus~”_

_Such precious words_

_By a one pure soul_

_Only one sacred gift_

_Can make her whole_

Akko summoned the Shiny Sprinkler and poured all kinds of juices into it. The sprinkler doused the entire audience, delighting their tongues with the taste of juice. As the sprinkler continued swirling and the princess dancing, the very sky whirled like a vortex! A bolt of lightning struck the empty center of the plaza.

_That single slice of cake_

_Is really all it takes_

_To captivate your heart_

_And let your worries fall apart_

_“Birthday cake~ Birthday cake~ Birthday cake~ Birthday cake~”_ A hatch opened on that spot, and the Sacred Cake rose onto the plaza! Golden Bananas from Kongo Jungle glimmered upon the cake, and the icing murals depicted Big Moms from multiple generations, with tiny images of every known child of the Linlin Family. The very sight of it made Sherry’s mouth water, how she longed to take a bite of it… but alas, the show had yet to conclude.

_Alas, in one bite, there is no turning back_

_Will you gamble with your life for this sweet?_

_Relish in its everlasting hocus_

_As you bask in the endless Soul Pocus_

_“SOUL POCUS~ SOUL POCUS~”_ Diana cast illusory magic on the cake to make the murals glow and come to life! They danced like a parade as the stars spun in the sky! Sweets and fruits and tea fluttered around the queen, washing her with love and joy!

_Soul Pocus, our Mama so kind!_

_What beautiful riches will you find?!_

_In this world—the Land of our Dream!_

_We sing “Soul Pocus,” the song of our Queen!_

Akko took to the sky on her Shiny Balai and struck the ground with a Shiny Arc! The plaza exploded with light as beanstalks rose from the ground. Barbara used her Herbology magic to raise all the party-goers to the starry heavens. As Queen Sherry gazed up at their figures, contrasted with the hypnotic spinning sky, her mind was lost in wonderful dreams.

“But, wait!” Sherry whipped her eyes to the stage when Jasminka spoke. “We still haven’t found my Prince! Oh, how I miss him!” she cried.

“What?!” exclaimed the queen. “They haven’t found them, yet?! But this is the Land of Dreams! Surely, they can find him. Where… but where?…”

“We will find him, Princess!” Akko proclaimed, rising ever so higher on her Balai. “Promise, you will never stop believing! Never stop believing you will find him! If it takes one year or a hundred years, you will find him again! Because believing is your most powerful MAGIC!”

The Shiny Witch vanished, and in her place a beautiful display of fireworks. The lights took the shape of Queen Sherbet, and her soul passed on to her heiress daughter, and then the next heir, and the family murals glimmered beside each of them. Finally, the soul flew into the heart of Queen Sherry herself. She felt the light touch her very soul, tears leaking from her eyes. “No… don’t go…” she said to the Shiny Witch, reaching hopelessly for the heavens. “Carl… where did you go? Carl… where are you…”

Then, all the stars fell from the heavens, along with the sinking beanstalks. Millions of stars crashed and alit the ground—Goomnut braced himself, suspecting nothing short of the worst, but no damage was dealt unto any of them. The stars flooded the party with magical water, and although it seemed to make their clothes float, it was not physical and no one was drowning.

As soon as the water drained away, the Nine Witches stood upon the stage. They held hands and bowed in thanks. “Huff…huff…huff…” Akko was at a loss of breath. “Even after rehearsing… using the Shiny Rod that much takes me out. Guys, I don’t know how to thank you. I…I’m too afraid to look. What does she think?”

“She looks… sad…” Amanda said. Akko looked up in curiosity.

“Sniff…sniff…” Sherry wiped her tears. “That show… it… speaks to me… I don’t understand.” She put a hand to her diamond heart. “Why does it make me feel this way?”

“I’ll tell you why!” Akko turned into a Spring Snake and bounced over to Sherry. “Because it was about YOU!” She bounced very high, and turned into a mouse as she landed on the queen’s nose. “Well, it was kinda about you. You were a great source of inspiration!”

“WOW!” Big Bird beamed. “What an honor to be perched on the queen’s nose, and not be wiped away by Big Tissues!”

“Shut your beak hole!” Goomnut roared.

“Sherry, you were just a little girl, left all alone on a candy island. And now, you rule your own planet, and you have so many friends and family!” The Titan’s eyes were narrowed on the cheerful mouse. “They always say, ‘Dream big and you’ll live big,’ and you’re the perfect embodiment of that. You’ve showed me that no matter who you are or where you come from, you can truly do anything you set your mind to. You’re amazing, Queen Sherry. I hope that even a little mouse like me can grow as big as you!”

“… … Akko…” Her diamond heart was touched by Akko’s words. So many emotions swirled inside of her. The people could not take their eyes off the heartwarming sight. How the queen cried and viewed the little mouse like a precious friend.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Something else drew their gaze. A bright pink heart appeared over her chest, where the diamond lay. _Thump. Thump._ It beat like an actual heart.

 _The rest of Sector LN gaped at it. That… heart… could it possibly be…?_ Diana was incredibly curious.

 _Thump. Thump._ Akko continued to smile at Sherry’s dripping eyes. _Thump. Thump._ The queen slowly raised her left hand. _Thump. Thump._ It was drawing in on the mouse. _Thump… Thump…_ Akko’s little soul wriggled from her body.

**_“AAAAAAAAHHH!”_ **

The very air was ruptured by Grandma’s scream. The party fell into a dead, horrified silence: a giant arrow was pierced through Grandma’s chest, cut perfectly through her diamond. Her expression frozen agape, and Akko holding tight to her nose… the queen fell, crashing on her back.

_“GRANDMAAAAAAA!!!”_

There was mass panic all across the planet—everyone watching the news was crying and screaming. There was so much chaos at the party in this very moment, no one was audible except for a furious Goomnut. “I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! SEIZE THEM! SEIZE THE WITCHES!”

“NO, WAIT!” Akko panicked, hands behind her head as the pirates trained guns on her. “We didn’t do anything, I swear!”

“GET HER OFF!” Topper ordered as Spewart grabbed her by the arms and dragged her off the queen. “Get the arrow out! Mages, quick, heal the queen!”

“We can’t!” yelled a witch crewmate. “The diamond is cracked! It’s too strong for our repair spells!”

 _“Uuuuuuhhhhggg…”_ Queen Sherry was gasping for breath, her very flesh beginning to rot as the diamond cracked.

“THEY TRIED TO KILL OUR QUEEN!” Tsao cried. “KILL THEM!”

“NO, PLEASE!” Lotte cried, her very life flashing before her eyes. “It wasn’t us, we would never! Please understand!”

“TURN THOSE CAMERAS OFF!” Pawtucket bellowed, using waterbending to swat the cameras away from Big Bird and his team. “NO ONE leaves this island! Search everyone! Guests—crewmen—relatives—EVERYONE is a suspect!”

“Oh God, it’s over, it’s really over!” Hannah sank to her knees and cried her eyes out, Barbara hugging her and sharing the emotions. “Dear God, I’m sorry for making fun of Muggle-borns, I’m sorry for being so arrogant, I’m sorry for everything!”

“Yeah, me too!” Barbara cried.

“Wait!” Akko whispered to her friends. “I have an idea. Draw up a Protego around us when we get to the queen.”

“What are you thinking?!” Diana asked.

“Trust me!”

“YAW, I bet it was THESE shiggity tickies!” Lucky accused, cocking a gun to Terry and Lola.

“FUCK YOU, where would we get a giant arrow?!” Terry asked.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” Sasha raised hands in defense. “I’ve been here this whole time!”

“THE WITCHES!” Pea screamed as the nine raced up beside Sherry, exploding a Protego shield into being.

“SHOOT THEM!” They all let fire on the magical bubble.

“Akko, whatever you’re thinking, do it now!” Amanda pled.

“Okay!” Akko raised the Shiny Rod above Sherry’s diamond heart and called, “LYONNE!” Golden streams emerged from the wand, softly enveloping Her Majesty’s heart.

“WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!” Goomnut screamed. “STOP THEM! Break the damn shield already!”

“Akko!…” Diana watched with great surprise and confusion. She recognized that spell… but why on Earth would Akko…

And just as she suspected, the crack on the Pink Diamond began to mend. The wound on the Titan’s chest closed and healed. The pain faded away.

All mouths were agape as the firing ceased. The girls sensed the danger had left, so they dispelled the shield. Goomnut hurried up to study her… and his concerns were at ease. “You… _saved her…”_

“Akko…” Lotte whispered.

 _What… the… actual… FUCK, AKKO?!_ Amanda screamed in her mind.

Luckily, Big Bird was still recording with a secret camera, so everyone could see this moment. At Luna Nova, almost nobody had any words. “Miss Kagari…” Holbrooke did not know how to feel.

“How could she do that…” Finnelan choked.

“…Because it’s how she is…” Ursula spoke with pride.

Queen Sherry began to pant. She pressed a hand to her heart, no longer feeling the pain. “A…A…Akko…” She glanced at the little witch. “You… saved me… Why…”

“Because…Because you’re my friend, Queen Sherry.” Akko smiled. “We’re besties! Right?”

“…Besties…” Everything was invisible in that moment. Only Akko mattered… her vibrant crimson eyes and face beaming with imagination. “Akko…”

 **“THE CAKE!!”** Panic resumed as the Family Cake rose into the air! The curtained table seemed to be carrying it, but it was actually a giant patty.

“What the-?!” Akko exclaimed, running for a closer look at the event.

“WE GOT THE CAKE!” Butcher decreed, setting the delicacy on a flying ship. He, Gramma Stuffum, and the other Brotherhooders rode on their own patties.

“I can’t believe that plan actually WORKED!” Mr. Jelly yelled. “The arrow we stole almost did her in!”

“Them!” Hisoka pointed. “They must have been behind this!”

“ALAS, Big Mom Pirates!” A familiar green-clothed villain leapt onto the cake. “You shall not have a single bite of this cake, or my name isn’t:” And the trumpets sounded as the Hungry Men danced on the cake!

 _“ROBIN FOOD, ROBIN FOOD, not your average thieving dude! With his band of Hungry Men, to Sweetopia, he goes and theeeen… He ROOOOOBS from the Queeeeen (and FAT) and GIIIIIIVES to the KIIIING (a croc, at that)! ROBIN FOOD: YO HOOOOO!”_ And the ship sailed across the sky.

“BUTCHER!” Goomnut screamed. “What are you doing?! Why are you going with them?!”

“I’m through bein’ a Big Mom Pirate! I’m with the Brotherhood now, and we’ll be best friends four-ver!”

“He means ‘forever.’” Cuppa Joe noted.

“Send the Tart Ships, capture them and get that cake!” Pawtucket ordered.

“Sigh… At least we’re off the hook.” Lotte panted.

“Thank goodness.” Akko sighed. “If I use the Shiny Rod any more, it’ll disappear again. …But maybe it’s best if the Brotherhood gets away. We shouldn’t let her get the cake.” (Play “Anxiety and Determination” from _Little Witch Academia_!)

The cake…The cake… Yes, that was her cake, Sherry thought. That was her brother’s cake, her family’s sacred cake, being stolen from her. …So, why…why didn’t she care? She was a Linlin… and all Linlins value the Family Cake above everything else. It has been the same for generations.

_“CAAAAAKE! THE CAAAAAAKE!” her great-granddaughter bellowed._

_“HURRY UP WITH THE CAKE! I WANT THE CAKE!” the former’s granddaughter cried._

_“I SMELL IT! THE CAAAAAAKE!” Charlotte Linlin roared._

And yet… Queen Sherry felt different emotions. To think… there would ever be something… she would value more than a cake. That kind and beautiful face… those soulful crimson eyes. _Akko…_

In this short month, that was all she thought about. That little witch who promised her a magic show… _Akko…_ That little witch who brought tears back to her eyes. The one who made her heart rift with pure joy and emotions. _Akko…_ Sherry could not imagine a soul more kind. A true, pure soul… one that was more sacred… and more precious… than all the Family Cakes in the universe. _Akko…_

_Stars were present in Sherry’s vision. There were millions of them. Each contained something new and wonderful. Sherry longed to see them all and feast on this universe’s wonders. But then, all those stars began to shrink and compress. No… Sherry was just going farther away. Slowly, more and more of the universe became clear to her vision. Until it was all a single body… and that body was… “Akko…”_

“Uuuuuhhhh…” The party-goers turned their attention to the queen as she finally got back on her feet. “Giiiiiive meeeee…” That drawl sent the coldest chills down their spines. “Giiiiiive meeeeeee…” It could only mean one thing.

“Oh, no!” Smoothie panicked. “Grandma is about to have a Hunger Pang! She wants the cake! If we don’t give her the cake, she’ll eat this entire planet!”

 _“GIIIIIIVE MEEEEEEE…”_ The Titan burned with psychic energy that came from her very soul. Her eyes were shining red and full of lust.

“Y-Your Majesty! Please!” Goomnut begged. “We’ll get the cake! This is only a minor setback! P-Please try to control yours-”

_“AKKO!!”_

Everyone was struck speechless again. The witch in question whipped around in Sherry’s direction. The great queen looked Akko in the crimson eye as massive tears dripped down her features. _“Akko… I-I want… Akko…”_

It was the most heart-melting thing any of them ever heard. People all around the universe were crying at this development. The Luna Nova students were more enthralled by the scene than ever. And the pirates had no idea how to react. They expected their queen to abandon all sense of rationality until she had her cake. But no… it was as if the cake meant nothing to her at all. Only… her friend…

_“I want… I-I want…”_

Akko cried tears as she extended her arms to the giant. “Sherry…”

And Akko slowly began to approach the massive queen. They were not a Muggle-born witch and a powerful queen… They were not a KND operative and a dangerous criminal… They were friends. Only pure emotions radiated from them. _“I… want… I… WANT…”_

“Ha ha ha! Come here, Sherry!” Akko giggled innocently.

_“I… WANT… **I… WANT… I… WANT…”**_

And that’s when the world turned dark. Pure emotions were replaced with fear and dread. But Akko, the optimistic student, did not realize that. Everyone else saw that look in Sherry’s eyes. The pirates recognized that look. It was now clear that Sherry’s consciousness was gone. That look… whenever she sought an exotic sweet… It was right in front of her. That little pink mist wiggling from Akko’s body, embodying everything Sherry loved about her. Everything from her Pure Imagination… and her soulful crimson eyes.

Amanda was already acting. In that brief second, her feet brought her to Akko. In that very same second, when Queen Sherry raised her hand. “NO, AKKO!!” Ursula cried, hoping by some miracle she would hear her.

**_“I WANT AKKO’S SOOOOOUUUUUUUL!”_ **

Her godlike hand SMASHED the spot where Akko once stood. In one swift motion, Amanda yanked her friend to safety. Every pleasant feeling, every ounce of hope, had just left Akko’s heart. She could not see her friend in those ravenous eyes, anymore. All there was…was a monster.

5,000 years ago, there were monstrous Titans all over the world. They pursued… They devoured humans. The very sight of a grinning, drooling Titan was one the universe never hoped to see again. And now… Akko and her friends bore witness to that horrible sight.

The very second Akko was back on her feet, her legs controlled her. All she knew—the only thing on her friends’ minds… was to run. Using the shock of the crewmen to their advantage, they bolted past the guards and the gate. A straight path lay across the bridge. There was plenty of room and space for the witches to run. Their limits, their breath, it was all irrelevant. All energy was put into their legs. Because behind them, there was only death. They could hear and feel Queen Sherry’s rapid footfalls. They didn’t dare to look behind them. As long as they were still alive, they knew she hadn’t caught up. But now, they wondered… if there was any safe haven for them.

“FORGET THE CAKE!!” Minister Goomnut bellowed. “ALL PIRATES, DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO CAPTURE THE WITCH!!”

 

**So yeah, um… we’re officially going full-on _Attack on Titan_. So, just imagine all the characters are designed with _AoT_ art style. :P Sector SD consists of _Magi_ characters, except for Dende from _DBZ_. And yes, they are an inverse Sector SA, so to speak. Next time, a f***ing heart-pounding chase scene.**


	8. One Note Musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nine Witches try to escape the ravenous Queen Sherry and her pirates! Will Akko survive?!

**Little trivia about the magic show: Akko purposely cast Jasminka as the star to get back at Mickey Mouse. :3 Play “Crimson Bow and Arrow” by Linked Horizon.**

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Chapter 8: One Note Musical

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**Sweetopia; Bridge of Carmel**

After the excitement of the magic show, it was unbelievable that the witches still had energy to run at the speeds they were going, even considering Hannah swapped their show clothes with their gym clothes. Alas, when they were being chased by the first Titan to hunt human prey in 5,000 years, should they really question such a blessing? How ironic they were briefly chased by Bowser one month before, and they didn’t feel one-tenth of the fear they felt right now.

“SHERRY, PLEASE!” Akko screeched at the top of her lungs. “DON’T EAT ME! WE’RE FRIENDS! PLEASE, STOP!”

“SAVE YOUR BREATH, IDIOT!” Diana shouted. “JUST RUN!”

 _“AKKOOOOOOOO!”_ For just a bit, Queen Sherry slowed down, for she reached into her Pink Diamond and extracted a massive sword made of Rose Quartz: _“SOUL QUARTZ!!”_ Powerful Psychic Chi amassed on the blade as the queen SLICED! The witches jumped away from the middle. Time seemed to slow down as the entire bridge was cleaved in two. The blinding pink beam threatened to sever their very souls had they not dodged.

With the swiftest of thinking, the witches mounted their brooms, and Akko turned into a mouse as she clasped Amanda’s leg. Amanda grabbed her friend and put her safely in her shirt. “Let’s see that fat bitch follow us—NOOOOWWW!”

With a Titanic leap, the queen nearly SMASHED Amanda in an earth-shattering clap, and though she missed by an inch, their heads were ringing from the sound. Queen Sherry landed on Zeus, the nimbus flying with full speed after Luna Nova’s fastest flyer. The great queen grew closer and closer, nearly enveloping the red-headed witch in her cavernous mouth. “AAAAAAAAHHH!” Amanda gave the briefest boost with her fire and barely avoided a crunching fate. The athlete was crying and sweating greater than ever before. She would rather sit through 1,000 detentions if it meant escaping this. “SOMEBODY KILL THIS FUCKING WHORE!!”

“AMANDA!” Barbara screamed when a tremendous tidal wave towered over Amanda like a mountain, and Pawtucket Pat was riding it like an angry surfer. Determination filling her, Amanda attached her sword to the end of the broom and spun like a drill in order to pierce the wave and perfectly pop out the other side!

Pawtucket was still hot on their tail, riding a column of water as he willed columns to erect from the sea. Amanda expertly dodged the columns, smirking in Pat’s direction. With one more dodge, Amanda flew under the Sweet Commander with sword in hand. “HYAH!” With one great swing, Pawtucket’s head was severed. “Boo-yeah! Killed one of the commanders without even trying!”

“No you didn’t!” Diana screamed. Amanda gasped when the headless body spun and melded with the juicy water, flying faster as it kept trying to ensnare her like a snake. “The Beer-Beer Fruit is a Logia-type, isn’t that what Pilaf said?! We can’t hurt him without Haki! To make it worse, it’s a Water-type, so he’s still able to swim!”

“LOOK OUT BELOW!” Lotte screamed, the witches dodging as meteors flew up from the ground.

Ernesto Taco was riding a large white sphinx as he danced and threw meteors up with his maracas. “Más rápido, Pea, más rápido! I’ll buy you a hundred sweets if we can hit them!”

“Aye-aye, Uncle Taco!” replied the sphinx.

“That must be Ernesto, the Music/Fire double-bender.” Lotte observed. “And that beast he’s riding… it’s Cassiopea, who ate the Cat-Cat Fruit, Model: Sphinx.”

Ernesto began to conjure music notes, mixing them in with the meteors as they turned into Flare Dancers. “Lotte, are they spirits?!” Barbara asked.

“No, they’re just figments of his bending. But since they’re made of Music Chi, we can weaken them with Silencio!” With that, they cast Silence Spells at the Flare Dancers and dispelled them.

“Wait, beer is flammable, isn’t it?!” Amanda asked. “Then I’ll give this bastard something to drink!” She blasted fire from her broom and set the liquid mass that was Pawtucket on fire.

Pat formed his human shape as his right hand was aflame. “Only a small fraction of beer is alcoholic, you moron! But I can still send the flammable part at you!” He threw the fire at Amanda, who simply grabbed it and threw it off. Pawtucket slashed Water Whips at the athlete, and willed them all to heat up with fire.

“HURRRR!” Constanze cocked her gun and fired a Shock Beam. Pat screamed in utter agony as volts traveled through his liquid body. “Good thinking, Conse! Water-types are weak to electricity.” Lotte smirked.

“BUU LIKE SPARKY STUFF!” Majin Buu flew into the Shock Beam and slurped it up in his mouth, Constanze ceasing fire in fright. “Zibidi Zabidi ZUU!” Buu spat the lightning back, but a Stanbot jumped out and took the damage.

“Fineltina la Serana!” Diana summoned golden swords of magic to chop Buu into pieces, but the marshmallowy Majin was reforming.

Down on the divided bridge, the Breakfast Club was riding a giant cereal box wagon, pulled by a speedy Sonny. “Yaw, let’s do Basket Bitch Bomb to git that squick-squawk.” Lucky suggested.

With that, the leprechaun got on top of Trix, who got atop Crunch, and Tony got atop Lucky. Crunch leapt onto Sonny as the bird FLUNG them up high like a catapult! Crunch shot open his mouth and stretched his head like a spring, sending the three higher. Trix flipped upside down and kicked Lucky higher, and then Tony was the final one to leap off. Amanda and Akko gasped as the muscular tiger flew above them, ready to slam-dunk a basketball. “Grrrrrreat CANNON!” The ball turned black with Haki.

“AMANDA!” Jasminka flew in the wake and inflated herself. Her foot set aflame, Amanda KICKED her pudgy friend directly into the speeding basketball. They were at a midair stalemate for a few seconds before Jasminka deflated and fell, fortunately grabbed by Hannah and Barbara as Jasminka situated herself back on her broom. The basketball fell toward Trix, who kicked it powerfully as it BASHED Amanda in the face. The athlete fell, and Akko was flung out of her shirt from the hit.

“WAAAH!” cried the mouse, until she was snatched in the hand of her best friend. “Lotte!”

“If only you were this light when I picked you up the first—TIIIIME!” At that instant, Akko POOFED into a baby hippo, grabbing the broom with her mouth and weighing Lotte down. Akko quickly changed back and helped herself up, the girls dodging one of Ernesto’s fireballs. “AAH!” Akko turned into a rabbit and fell off, but Sucy caught her and hugged her closely. “Why do I keep transforming?!”

“It’s Minister Goomnut!” Diana shouted. “He ate the Force-Force Fruit! According to Pilaf, he can force anyone to use their powers by focusing on them. By doing so, he can force us to exhaust our chi.”

“But if we keep moving, he can’t lock on us!” Sucy followed.

“Sucy, above you!” Lotte cried as Silla the Harnitan blew herself level with them, and then she tossed Sarborg to the back of Sucy’s broom.

“That’s a pretty bunny, Sushi! May I hold it?”

“No, but you can hold this grease.” Sucy tore open a bottle and poured it behind her, causing the robot to slip off the broom.

“Waaah! Gramma!” Sarborg fell toward the hungry Titan, but Queen Sherry SMACKED her away like a fly. _“AKKOOOOOOOO!”_

“Please, Your Majesty, don’t hit your own kids!” Goomnut shouted, riding the queen’s head. “Dammit, I wish they would stop moving!”

“We’re almost at the Stanship!” Lotte beamed, seeing their vessel safe within its protective shield.

“CHAIN CHOMPS!” Hannah cried as Sky Chomps flew around them with the intention of feeding. Below, Madame Broode had used her Chomp Call to summon them. The girls barely avoided as Jasminka grabbed one by the chain and swung it into others. Jasminka then hurled it into Her Majesty, but the Chomp was sliced in two by the Soul Quartz. “I’m sorry, Chompy.”

“Save it, Jasminka!” Amanda shouted. “Just get your butt into the Stanship—FUCK YOU, SUN!”

Indeed, Prometheus was hovering above the Stanship, grinning devilishly as his flares were dancing. “That’s right, turn off your shield! The second you do, this ship’s getting cooked!”

“They’re catching up!” Lotte yelled.

“I’ll distract them!” Sucy decided, flying towards the right and across the icing-coated valley. “Come find us when the ship’s ready!”

 _“AKKOOOOOOO!”_ The queen changed direction and pursued them.

“Buu, Smoothie, help the queen!” Goomnut ordered. “The rest of you, subdue those witches!”

“Hey, Sunny-boy!” Amanda lit her sword aflame. “How about we fight fire with fire?!”

“I have a better idea!” Diana flew in her way. “AGUAMENTI ENGORGIO!” She watered the sun with a giant water spell.

“AAAAAAHHH!” His body searing with pain, Prometheus began to shrink and shrivel up. “COLD! SO COLD! Agh, I need some fire!” He flew away.

The seven witches landed, but the pirates were seconds from reaching them. “Girls, I think it’s now or never.” Diana decided. “Sector SD, I hope you’re READY!” She whipped out a small Vanish Box and opened it, pouring the four operatives out as they burst to normal size!

“HUH?! They had backup with them?!” Pilaf exclaimed.

“Good, I was getting hot in there.” Alibaba smirked, drawing a sword as it lit on fire. “What’s the plan?!”

“Hold them off while Constanze starts the ship!” Diana ordered.

“It would be nice if we could mow down a few of their troops, but I guess we’ll play it safe then.”

Sucy flew into a canyon, but the ravenous queen still followed suit on her trusty nimbus. Sucy looked up right, seeing Smoothie racing along the cliff on her long legs. To her left, Buu was flying, the bubbly genie casting beams from his antenna that Sucy dodged. “Looks like all we can go is straight.”

“Hey, Sucy, maybe you should go back and help the others. I can lead her away and you guys can pick me up later.”

“Forget it. Without the Shiny Rod, you’ll never be able to defend yourself.”

“But I’m fast, I can outrun them!”

“You know you can’t do anything on your own.”

“Sucy…” The words drew Akko into tears. Sniffling, she said, “I hate feeling so helpless.”

“Relax, dummy.” Sucy hugged the bunny gently, smiling warmly. “I’m not gonna let her get you. None of us are. …Hey, look at those caves.” They were flying into an open area, seeing multiple caves within the cliffside. “Maybe we can lose ’em in there.” She locked her sights on the smallest entrance near the bottom and shot inside.

“Buu, get in after them!” Goomnut ordered.

“Hide-and-Seek, yay!” The Majin obeyed.

 _“AAAAAKKOOOOO!”_ Queen Sherry jumped off of Zeus and forced her overweight body into the tight cave, forcing Goomnut to follow her on his own feet. Zeus decided to keep watch on the caves outside, and Smoothie stayed put atop the cliff as well. (End song.)

**Party Plaza**

The party-goers engaged in heavy conversations, many of them filled with massive worry. “Please let us pass!” Mrs. Antonenko pled to the guards. “They’re chasing our children, we have to go and help them!”

“No!” yelled the Toad guard. “Nobody leaves the plaza until we receive word from the Commanders.”

“And what’s going to become of my niece?!” Daryl demanded. “The one who’s supposed to marry that Pringle man?!”

“Speaking of which, where’d he go?” Maril asked. “Is he helping in the chase?”

Little did they know that Jaune Pringle was hiding under a table with Roger in his Chess Guy disguise. “So… you are the one that has-a stolen my heart.”

“Yes, my Pringle.” Roger replied with loving eyes. “I’m sorry for deceiving you. I just wanted to get close to you.”

“Oh-a Roger. How I long to be with you. But alas, Grandmama wants me to marry Diana.”

“We’ll find a way, Jauny. I know we will.”

This was under the table of the Stork Family. “Man, I sure wish we could help those guys.” Lola said.

“We can’t. Not without risk of them hurting our friends.” Terry replied. “Sigh… and here I was thinkin’ they could do something to help us.”

“Vick, is your grandmother going to be okay?” Éclair asked with worry.

“Oh, she’ll be fine. You know, we have a funny name for this sort of thing: we call it the One Note Musical. Our queen is usually so jolly and emotional, but whenever she gets like that, it’s like she has no personality at all. Still, this is the first time she ever craved a mortal soul before. She always takes pieces of soul every week since she came back. What could be so special about that girl’s soul?”

**Luna Nova**

_“BIG NEEEWWWWWS! Queen Sherry has gone on one of her infamous hunger rampages! And by the craziest twist of fate, her teeth are set on the young witch in charge of her magic show! How will this grand chase play out?! Well, I’m betting Big Twos on the Big One!”_

“Oh, Akko!” Ursula gasped, swallowed in utter horror as the chase began. The students could not have been more engaged with the giant screen. Some called it the best assembly ever, but others were sincerely praying that their friends would return home. “Akko, you poor thing. I have to do something! M-Maybe they have a spare ship.” She was about to run off.

“Stay put, Ursula!” Finnelan ordered. “You still aren’t able to fly. And even if you could, it’s pointless. The pirates will gun you down before you even set foot on the planet. There’s nothing we can do. We can only hope other operatives are watching this and will go to help them.”

**Choco Tunnels**

“Oh, Akkoooo? Akkooooo?” Buu’s voice echoed throughout the chocolate tunnels. “Come out, come out, wherever you aaaare.”

“AKKOOOOO!” Sherry took up the entire width of the cave, ensuring there was no safe space to hide.

Buu came to a fork. He glanced left, but saw only a dead end, so he flew down the right path. However, Sucy and Bunny Akko were hiding behind a rock near that dead end. _“Aaaaaakkoooooo…”_ Their hearts raced endlessly when the Titan queen crept up to the turn. _“Akko…Akko… Don’t leave me… Akko…”_ She glanced left and right, her big nose sniffing for that succulent soul. _“Uuuuhhh…”_ But all she could smell was chocolate. So, she sunk her teeth into the center wall of the fork and bit off a chunk. _“This doesn’t taste like Akko’s soul! GIVE ME AKKOOOOO!”_ The queen began to burrow a new tunnel into the chocolate.

“No, Your Majesty, don’t eat through the ground! Ugh!” Goomnut grunted. “There’s no reasoning with her. Until she gets what she wants, she’ll mindlessly eat anything and anyone that gets in her way.” The Goomba hurried after the Titan.

Sucy and Akko carefully peeked out. “Okay… now might be our chance.” The Filipino mounted her broom and flew back the way they came.

“Hmm… I wish I could go in there.” Zeus frowned as he observed the holes. “But I really don’t like tight spaces. Huh?” He saw Sucy whoosh out of a cave in the corner of his eye.

“ZEUS, they’re getting away!” Smoothie cried.

“Up yours.” Sucy passed her the finger as the Amazon drew further away.

“Sucy, not now!” Akko hissed.

Smoothie jumped down onto the nimbus. “Zeus, let’s get them!”

“Hey, you’re not my mama!”

“JUST GO!” Zeus yelped at her demand and began chasing the witches. Sucy saw them and flew skyward, but the duo still followed suit.

“How about a little Shrink Potion?!” Sucy spilled the pink potion onto the cloud, causing Zeus to shrivel in size. “AAAH!” Smoothie screamed, forced to take the fall.

“Way to go, Sucy! Now let’s go join the others before Grandma comes back.”

**Stanship**

Pisti played her red feather flute and used her Animal Telepathy to have the Sky Chomps attack Madame Broode and Sasha. Amanda engaged General Tsao in a sword clash, attempting to kick the Rito off his feet, but he flapped his wings and flew up before kicking her down. Tsao tried to stab her, but Amanda dodged her head right and got up to continue attacking. “You think you can defeat me, the greatest swordsman of the Rito Tribe?!”

“Please, you’re nothing but a chicken! And chickens ALWAYS taste better when roasted!” Amanda leapt away and entered Fire Fury, unleashing flames all over the chicken.

 _“CACAAAAAWWW!”_ The armor made it even worse for the chicken. Tsao began to swell up until his very yolk burst out of his flesh. Amanda looked with confusion as the yolk swelled up and Tsao came out, taking to the sky in a Robin Hood uniform. “Strike me down as much as you wish, but like the phoenix, I will always be reborn from the ashes.” Tsao held a bow and arrows in his talons as he shot at Amanda from a safe height. “Perhaps you should expand your skillset. I have more abilities than I know what to do with.”

“I prefer to keep my mind clear.” Amanda remarked, mounting her broom and chasing the Rito as she easily sliced away his arrows.

Alibaba wielded a long, black sword called Amol Saiqa. He absorbed the fire from Ernesto’s Flame Whips, and by combining them with his own firebending, he dealt blows against the Tostarenan. Ernesto twirled on his toes to escape from him, sending out music notes. At the same time, Piantas were rushing Alibaba from multiple angles, but he dodged them with keen Observation Haki and knocked them out.

Hannah garbed herself in a fancy tuxedo and top-hat to combat Topper. The Broodal formed a tower of green hats on himself, but when he slammed them onto Hannah, the hat that made contact was sliced as all the ones above it came off. “I’m a sharp dresser, aren’t I? So sharp that I can cut through fabric!”

Barbara had grown a Baby Mandrake and was wearing it like a backpack as it shot Poison Darts at the pirates behind her. The pureblood witch was continuing to stun Pawtucket with lightning spells, until she had to dodge Sasha’s stomping boots. “What the-?!” Sasha yelped when Cuccos flew into her nose and her ears. “Gaaah! Tsao, your chickens are going crazy!”

“I hope you don’t get goosebumps!” Pisti remarked, playing her flute and controlling the chickens.

“Ha- ha- ha—HACHOO!” Sasha sneezed rapidly. “ACHOO! ACHOO!”

“CUCKOO-CUCKOO!” Sonny leapt up and—“AAAAH!” snapped Pisti’s left leg in his beak, pulling the airborne girl back to earth and bashing her against the ground.

“HAH!” Jasminka grabbed Sonny’s beak and was able to pull him off, smashing the bird against the ground, but the chubby witch was jumped by Trix as he began strangling her. “Hey, Trix!” Lotte yelled. “One of the Broodals stole your yogurt!”

“WHAT?!” The rabbit leapt off and charged at Rango first, bringing the tall Broodal down and punching his teeth out. “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SHARE WITH ME?!”

“AAH!” Lotte yelped when Lucky grabbed her from behind and stuck his pistol down her throat. “Yaw what’s-a happen’ with you tricky chicks?” Lucky twisted the gun. Lotte began to cry and sweat, sensing that any second could be the moment of her death. “Bet ya chickities like to suck awn mah boogily-boom. Come awn lickity-lurp, give it a slurpity-slickity.”

“Metamorphie Faciesse!” Diana cast a spell to turn the gun into spaghetti. Lotte escaped, quickly shooting an Ice Spell at Lucky.

Captain Crunch tried to gnash Jasminka while she was holding down Sonny, but the strong witch used her left hand to hold his teeth up. Growing steadily weaker the more she kept restraining the mascots, Tony the Tiger began to charge at her. “She’s gonna brrrrrrrREAK!”

At this time, Aladdin was descending from the sky on his magic carpet, sights fixed on Jasminka. In that brief second before Tony rammed her, Diana cast “Reducio!” to shrink Jasminka a millisecond before Aladdin grabbed her and whooshed away, and that moment when Crunch’s teeth came down was the same as when Tony made it to Jasminka’s spot. “AAAAH!” The tiger’s arm ended up being crunched.

“I bet you don’t wanna be a marshmallow.” Aladdin remarked, holding Jasminka to his hip.

“No way! I love marshmallows!” Jasminka flushed.

After restoring her to normal and dropping her down, Aladdin flew beside Diana, who was casting magic swords at the sphinx Cassiopea. “Thanks for helping Jasminka.”

“No problem!” Aladdin replied, shooting Blast Spells at the sphinx. The boy was using a Genie Lamp wand, which was golden with a lamp tip.

Toads and Hylian pirates were getting inside the Stanship, only to be shot by Dende. “Is the ship almost ready?!” he asked Constanze.

After a few more button pushes, she gave a thumbs-up, “Hmm!”

The operatives heard the engines roaring outside and looked up as the ship rose off the ground. “The ship is ready!” Diana exclaimed. “Everyone inside!” They swooped into the opening, with Aladdin carrying Alibaba, but the pirates let loose all attack power on the vessel. As it flew, the witches threw out all the unconscious pirates.

Dende’s antennas glowed as he healed Pisti’s leg. “I know you probably hoped we would take some of them down.” she spoke with regret. “But as operatives, we can’t kill anybody unless there’s no other alternative.”

“It’s all right.” Dende sighed. “As long as we can escape this planet in one piece.”

“Look, there’s Akko and Sucy!” Lotte pointed.

“Hey, guuuuyyys!” Bunny Akko called. Behind them was a fleet of Hamburger Saucers with faces.

“I can see they brought company!” Amanda panicked.

“Hurry and get in here!” Diana yelled, the entrance opening as the two swooped inside. Akko could finally change back to normal. “What happened to Great Grandma?”

“We lost her in a cave. That genie guy was in there, too.”

“Then let’s get out of here before she comes back.” Amanda suggested. The Stanship faced up at the sky as the firebender kicked power into the engines and blasted off.

Akko took her seat, catching her breath as Sucy fed her an Ether. The drink felt like a sanctuary, for she was exhausted after holding a transformation that long. Not to mention her head was throbbing after so much stress. “We can easily breach the blockade by going into hyperspace.” Diana said. “But they will in all likelihood pursue us. We have to hide Akko somewhere they wouldn’t think to look.”

“We need to evacuate Luna Nova.” Hannah inputted. “You know that’s the first place they’re gonna search. Even if she’s not there, they’ll threaten everybody until they find her.”

“Blytonbury, too.” Amanda noted. “Hell, the whole kingdom’s in danger. We’ll have to get the whole Kids Next Door to fight them.”

The discussion ended when they heard sobbing. Each word was a knife to Akko’s heart, and so her emotions came out in the form of tears. “A-All I wanted to do… was make people happy. And every time I try… every time I have a chance to make people laugh… it always ends badly. Because of me, King Mickey tried to kill the Supreme Leaders. Because of me, Queen Sherry and her pirates are trying to kill us. And now I’ve put the whole kingdom in danger.”

“Okay, slow down there, Try Hard.” Amanda replied. “Instead of blaming yourself for things that you had no idea would happen, why don’t you thank yourself for all the GOOD things that happened to us? Like saving the country from an evil missile, or exposing Mickey as a corrupt bastard, to name a few.”

“Akko, you must accept the fact that even good deeds will have negative consequences.” Diana said, using her handkerchief to wipe away her friend’s tears. “Things will happen beyond our control. We must stay strong and do everything we can to pull through.”

“Thanks, Diana. But what can we do? We have no choice but to go to war with the Big Mom Pirates. All because of me. I wonder… if I give myself up, what if they let the rest of you go?”

“Not gonna happen.” Amanda stated firmly. “Constanze, just switch on the Warpdrive and get us back to Avalar. We’ll warn everybody before it’s too late and get started with a counterattack.”

On the planet’s surface, the ground rumbled as Queen Sherry emerged from the frosting ground. _“AKKOOOOOO!”_ Still blind to the path forward, she charged into the valley, tearing down candle trees and cake rocks.

Goomnut hopped his way out of the hole as he received a call in his earpiece. _“Minister, the operatives’ ship has just left the atmosphere and went into hyperspace. Unfortunately, the blockade ships are still fighting with the Kremling invaders.”_

Above that region of the atmosphere, cannonballs flew between Kremling and singing vessels. A small squad of Flying Krocks guarded the Brotherhood’s ship as they sailed through the blockade. “It looks like we’re home free, fellas!” Cuppa Joe declared. “Not only did we make off with the cake, we actually injured the Big Bitch!”

“I still don’t get it, though.” Butcher said. “I thought all the crewmen would be after us by now. Instead it’s just a few strayglers.”

“‘Stragglers.’” Knightbrace corrected. “But I agree that it is pretty strange. But as long as we get to the _Gangplank Galaxy_ , we’ll be home free.”

“What do you suppose this cake tastes like, anyway?” Mother Mae-Eye asked. “Do you think K. Rool would be kind enough to award us some slices?”

“Hey, we’re under orders not to take a single bite!” Joe reminded. “Or else we’ll go crazy just like her. Honestly, the only thing we should get for a reward is a safe place to hide from them.”

On the planet, Goomnut began to sweat. “Grrr… this is bad. If Grandma comes out of this craving, she’s going to want the cake next. If she finds out we let the Kremlings take it, our heads will roll. The only way we can avoid that… is if Akko’s soul turns out to be more delicious than the cake. But that couldn’t possibly happen.”

“Minister, what will we do?” Smoothie asked, returning with a tiny Zeus in hand. She squeezed the cloud, using her powers to extract the potion from his fluff, thus restoring him to normal size.

 _“Akkoooooo…”_ Queen Sherry seemed to have her blurry sights set on Whole Cake Capital.

“I’ve already had my crewmen evacuate the town just in case. The commanders are getting ready to fly after the witches. They’ll most likely head back to their school.”

“…Wait a moment…” Goomnut’s eyes widened in curiosity. “Could Her Majesty be intending to use… THAT?!”

The queen cut a clear path through the center of the capital, crossing the bridge en route to her castle. _“I’ll come for you, Akko! Oh, I’ll chase you to the ends of the universe!”_ Zeus and Prometheus were quick to rejoin their Creator. _“You’ll never be able to hide from my invincible fortress! SOUL CAKE CASTLE!”_ Queen Sherry PUNCHED her heart and entered Psychic Fury!

Her pink aura spread to the entire castle, the world rumbling as it rose off the foundation. A pair of eyes and a great big mouth grew on the floating fortress. **_“CASTLE~ CASTLE~ CASTLE~”_**

“Does she actually know to go to Luna Nova?!” Goomnut wondered. “Or is she acting on pure instinct?” The castle began to glow white. “She’s teleporting! Majin Buu, we have to join her, quickly!”

“Okay, Goomy!” Buu lifted the Goomba and flew up into the castle. Hisoka smirked as he stretched his arm, grabbed a window, and launched himself into the fortress. In a flash, it completely vanished from the air.

**Luna Nova**

“Ah, home sweet home!” Lotte beamed as they reentered the atmosphere. “And look! They’re already coming out to greet us.”

“LOOK, THEY’RE BACK!” Wangari pointed from a window. Immediately, everyone in the school piled outside, agape at seeing the Stanship.

“Oh, thank goodness! Is Akko okay?!” asked Ursula.

Diana used Sonorus as her voice rang from the ship. _“People of Luna Nova, the Big Mom Pirates will be here any moment! Everyone needs to evacuate! Return to your home countries if possible!”_

“GIRLS, ABOVE YOU!” screamed Headmistress Holbrooke.

Immediately, a shadow fell over the school. Both sectors faced up, going pale and losing any shred of hope: **_“CASTLE~ CASTLE~ CASTLE~”_** The giant-sized fortress easily dwarfed Luna Nova. This much was obvious, even with how high it was in the sky.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Amanda’s sentence came out in partial laughter and partial crying. “What the fuck is this bitch? Why can’t she just piss off?”

“ALL STUDENTS, TO THE LEY LINE!” bellowed Finnelan as everyone mounted their brooms. Sadly, a storm of beams rained down from the castle, destroying all their brooms as the students plopped onto the ground.

“Buu no get to play with you last time!” Buu cheered, flying down. “New friends stay and play with Buu.”

 _“AKKOOOOOOOOOOO!”_ They could see the madness in Sherry’s eyes from there.

“I have to run!” Akko stated, opening the door. “I have to lead her away from the school.”

“I have an idea.” Pisti began. “Akko, change into a mouse and let me carry you, and some of you can fly and split up in different directions. We’ll try to confuse her.”

“Good idea.” Aladdin agreed. “She may not expect someone else to carry her. The rest of us will stay and defend the school.”

“Urgh… very well.” Diana sighed. “Please be careful.”

Akko took a breath to relieve her fear and poofed into a mouse. Pisti picked her up and hid her under her pink top. Hannah was the first to take flight, then Barbara, then Pisti, then Sucy. The Artemyran lightly kicked the air as her wings allowed her to fly. “Your Majesty, one of them must have the girl!” Goomnut stated.

 _“EEEEeeeehhh! Akko? AKKO?!”_ Sherry’s head spun as she looked in each of the four directions.

“Constanze, I think you know what this calls for.” Amanda implied.

“HMMPH!” With a firm expression, Constanze flipped over her control panel and pressed a huge button with a robot symbol.

_“Burning Soul converted to magic power. Seven shiny stars of justice! Believe in the heart that believes in magic! Grand Charion, the Magic Warrior is here!”_

With Constanze at the helm, the Stanship transformed into a mighty and steadfast robot, defined by red, white, blue, and golden segments, with Luna Nova’s symbol marked around its body. Seven distinct gems were shining on it, and as the Charion posed, those gems lined up like the Big Dipper.

 _“Akko?!”_ Queen Sherry gawked at the mecha, its shining eyes glaring up at the Titan on her castle steps.

“What a neat toy!” Buu beamed.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Hisoka commented.

Primed and ready for action, the Grand Charion launched to the sky! _“Okay, Master Constanze! Let’s kill da ho!”_ It pulled its right arm back, readying for a rocket punch as the Great Grandma readied her Soul Quartz. _“Beeeeetch!”_

 

**Going back to that Pawtucket scene, have you noticed almost every time someone is revealed as a Logia, their head gets cut off? Well, stay tuned for Chapter 9: “Bad End Musical.”**


	9. Bad End Musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the pirates threaten Luna Nova and its students, Akko must make a terrifying choice: will she flee, or will she give up her life?

**Remember how easy the old Big Mom was? Well, I guess she does have something in common with her ancestor. Play “Poor Unfortunate Souls” by the Jonas Brothers!**

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Chapter 9: Bad End Musical

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**Luna Nova**

The Grand Charion’s right arm blasted at Queen Sherry like a rocket, the very air vibrating as she blocked it with her Soul Quartz combined with Psychic Chi. Meanwhile, the left fist flew and destroyed the platform the queen was standing on. Sherry fell, but was rescued by Zeus, the nimbus performing a somersault in the air before diving at Charion full speed. _“BREAKING POINT!”_ Sherry spun around as pink psychic amassed on her sword in the form of a drill. The mecha extracted a shield and pushed the drill back, using all the power it could muster to do so. Constanze felt the shield weakening, so she boosted away from the Titan.

 _“ZEUS!”_ Sherry jumped as the raincloud flew to the sky. _“Prometheus!”_ The sun replaced him as Sherry’s foothold, igniting brighter than ever. _“Loyal darlings strong as the tide! Sweetest poopsies hasten to my side!”_ Zeus began to swirl a storm, his gargantuan grin eclipsing the entire sky. _“Mama needs you, crush those wretched fools! Make them writhe!”_ The queen caught fire as her flames turned pink, slashing fireballs that the Charion dispersed with punches. Meanwhile, students were scurrying to the front gates, but a grinning, cocky Zeus struck purple lightning down around them.

“DON’T HURT THE STUDENTS!” Diana shouted. “They have nothing to do with this!”

“I’ll stop if you tell me where Akko is.” Zeus replied with a troll face.

“Then I’ll serve as your lightning rod!” Aladdin flew up on his magic carpet and raised his Genie Lamp to catch the purple lightning and shoot it back to the sky. He reacted quickly as Zeus threw lightning at a faster pace. “WHOA!” He was forced to dodge jawbreaker cannons from the Soul Cake Castle.

 _“La, la la la, la la la!”_ Lotte sang in a fast-paced tone, her voice amplified by the Charion’s speaker. Her soothing voice reached the ears of Soul Cake Castle, causing it to dance and cease fire in a jaunty fashion.

The Grand Charion unleashed a storm of rapid punches upon Sherry, the target in question appearing doll-size to the mecha. Sherry protected herself with a psychic bubble, and it began cracking slightly until the Charion’s left foot abruptly boosted its rocket and tilted off-balance, Sherry dropping the bubble and flying to stab the robot’s stomach. “Hey, why did the leg boost?!” Amanda asked.

“It’s Minister Goomnut again!” Diana deduced. “It seems he can use his power on parts of the Charion.”

“Constanze, swat that mushroom off her damn shoulder.”

 _“Okay, Master! Pop da pimp!”_ The Charion launched missiles that Sherry had no trouble swatting away, then it tried to swing an upper-cut, but it was blocked by a psychic bubble. Sherry dropped the shield when the arm returned, but it had secretly detached its index finger as it flew behind the queen and was coming at Goomnut. The Goomba turned and, “AAAAAAHHH!”

Majin Buu shot a laser and destroyed the finger. “Thingy went boom!”

“Grrrr!” Constanze growled.

At this time, Barbara had flown several miles away from the school, looking behind her in worry. “I guess all I can do is find another sector and get their help. Sooner or later, more pirates will show—AAAAH!” She was grabbed by a pair of long-nailed hands that brought her to the ground with great force.

The stretchy arms then yanked her over to Hisoka, who kept a firm grip on her arms. “I’ve been growing tired of this game of Cat and Mouse, sweetheart. So, why don’t you tell me where Akko is?”

“ERGH!” Barbara tried to kick him in the crotch, but it dealt no pain to his squishy gum body.

“Kick as much as you like. It won’t hurt me, sweetheart!” Hisoka spoke with a rather unsettling and seductive smile. “No, seriously… _as much as you like.”_ He whispered very softly.

At that moment, Barbara expected only the worst. “HEEELP! HANNAH, PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE!”

“Now, why would you be calling your friend to the enemy? Unless she didn’t have Akko with her.” Barbara gasped, mentally cursing herself for falling for such a trick. “And it doesn’t feel like she’s tucked away in this tight little body of yours.” Hisoka brushed his left leg around Barbara, who felt every ounce of innocence leaving her. “I guess that only leaves two guesses. Time to tempt fate.” With that, he slipped off his right boot and held his foot up beside his ear, holding a communicator with it. “Commander Buu, the winged girl has Akko.” Barbara internally gasped.

“Okay, Friend Hisoka!” Buu responded. “Gramma, Gramma, Buu know where Akko is! Buu go get her!” And he flew in Pisti’s direction.

“No! Did he figure it out?!” Diana questioned.

From the ground, Ursula heard the Majin and watched him fly off. “He’s going after Akko?!” With a stern expression, she bolted after him.

“Professor Ursula, get back here!” Finnelan ordered.

Zeus saw her and struck lightning down, but Ursula was swift to dodge the bolts. “I’m a teacher, darn it! I won’t sit around while my student is in danger!” (End song.)

As Pisti continued skipping across the air, she gasped when Buu began to shoot beams at her. “Buu got you! Buu got you! Buu know you have Akko!”

Pisti turned to face him with a fearless expression. _I’m crazy to think I can fight a Majin. Luckily, he seems as childish as any other._ She smirked deviously. “Okay, you got me: I was the one who took Akko. But you can only take her if you win my game.”

“Ooo, a game! Buu loves games!”

“All you have to do is guess which one is Akko.” With that, Pisti began playing her flute, and Buu looked down as a swarm of field mice began scurrying across the grass. The Majin examined them intently, eyes rolling in every direction as he tried to determine any unique features between the tiny orange rodents. “Uhh…grrrrr, GIVE BUU A HINT!”

“Akko is the smallest one!” Pisti smirked, then resumed playing.

“Errr…uhhh…” Buu tried to determine which mouse was the smallest. He flew down closer, trying to look for baby mice hidden under the stampede.

Little did he know that Akko had actually turned into an ant and was hiding behind Pisti’s ear. _I guess all I can do now is wait for a good chance to get away. But I won’t get far on these little legs._

“OW!” Buu yelped after being hit with a Blast Spell. Pisti gasped, seeing that Ursula was responsible.

“Can’t you let those poor mice cross the field in peace?!” the teacher declared, her wand forming a green beam like a lightsaber. _Hopefully Akko can make it across the field if I distract him._

 _“Professor Ursula, no!”_ Akko Ant cried with an inaudible voice. Sometimes, her teacher could be just so dense!

“Buu playing! Mean lady go!” Buu zapped magic that would turn the grass into lollipops, Ursula dodging as she ran under the Majin and called, “Ascendio!” launching up and SLICING Buu up the middle like a piece of burning jelly.

“Fineltina la Serana!” Buu was severed into more pieces by magic swords, cast from Diana’s wand. “Professor Ursula, let’s use a rope spell with Fusion Magic!”

“Good idea!” Diana flew down beside the teacher, wands ready as the Majin began to reassemble. “Juras Haras Haras!” Magic ropes lashed out of the wands, enveloping Buu completely as he fell to the ground.

The Majin squirmed in his binds and- “BUU!” escaped before shooting magic, the witches dodging as Diana cast an ice spell to freeze him. Ursula sliced his frozen body into pieces.

“Akko, I think you should try to run.” Pisti whispered to the ant.

_ “Why? That genie’s a total pushover, they’re making chopped liver out of him.” _

_“MmmmmmmrrrrrrRRRAAAAAHHH!”_ The ice exploded as all the parts quickly reformed. The Majin inhaled air through all his holes, growing red with anger as he cried, “ANGRY CANDY WORLD!” He BURST with magical energy, Diana and Ursula going beside Pisti and creating a Protego. The field morphed into the form of a gigantic pancake, with lollipops, chocolate bars, and candycane trees growing everywhere.

After recomposing himself, Buu glared at the bubbled witches and swooped down, dealing rapid punches on the shield before it shattered in seconds. Diana and Ursula grew fatigued from the attack, and this made it easy for Buu to ensnare them with Licoropes. Ursula managed to grab her lightsaber and slice the ropes, setting Diana free afterwards. More Licoropes came at them like serpents, the witches swiftly cutting them down before Diana was hit by a jawbreaker cannonball. Buu had molded a cannon from his bellybutton, squeezing it and shooting one each time. Ursula ran up to him while slicing each jawbreaker in half, but the Majin erected a tower of chocolate bars to completely surround him.

“He can use his magic to create candy out of thin air, in any way, shape, or form he pleases.” Diana explained.

The Majin began shooting cannonballs through the chocolate, each segment breaking as the one above it fell to replace it. Ursula used a Gravity Spell on the chocolate tower in order to run straight up it, and once at the top, she dove straight into the opening, aiming her wand at Buu and calling, “Diphulaniado!”

The base of the tower exploded with magic, in the form of a sparkly green light. “Professor!” Diana ran to the fallen teacher’s aid, casting a healing spell on her. The use of the explosion spell had turned Ursula’s blue hair into red. “Why would you do something so dangerous?” Diana asked as she gave her an Ether.

“We need to damage him as much as possible.” Ursula replied, drinking the potion as her hair morphed blue again. “It may not seem like it, but he’s growing weaker.”

“LOOK!” Pisti screamed, pointing at the sky above Luna Nova in the distance. “The pirates are here!”

The _Ivory Castle_ , _Marshmallow Majin_ , _Drunken Clam_ , and _Gran Picante_ descended from Zeus’s cloud, along with their own squads of ships. “’EY, Commander Bippity Bop!” The Breakfast Club’s ship was looming above Diana and Ursula, with Tony holding Pilaf by the shirt. “How ’bout a little shrivelly dingaling?” Lucky asked as Tony dropped Pilaf to the soft pancake ground.

“Professor, get away from him!” Diana yelled. “That goblin can reverse peoples’ ages!”

“Hurf!” Pilaf got to his feet, facing a reforming Buu as he cast an Age Circle. “This will help you drop a few pounds, Buu!” With a great surge of his power, Buu was engulfed in a light, and they watched as his body compressed and grew thinner. When it stopped, Majin Buu now had a muscular physique, with red eyes and black sclera, and a wicked grin. Compared to the pudgy, bubbly nature of his older form, this one sent chills down their spines.

The first thing that Teen Buu did was ignite his antenna with light. _“SWEET NATION!”_ Diana and Ursula created a Protego, and to their horror, a storm of energy beams erupted from his little antenna. None of them attacked the duo, but they flew right in the direction of the school. Despite the Protego that the teachers projected around the students, the beams burrowed underground and struck each and every one of them. Screams erupted from the crowd as they fell to their knees, completely paralyzed as their bodies morphed into chocolate.

Yet it didn’t stop there, for even more beams flew off in the distance, going to the town of Blytonbury and turning every single citizen into chocolate! This included Andrew and all the students of Appleton Academy—Annabel Crème as she was at her laptop—the servants at the House of Cavendish—many of whom were still worriedly watching the news, and them and many innocent civilians shared a chocolaty fate.

“AAAH!” Pisti was zapped as well, and Ant Akko fell to the ground beside her foot. The ant looked up in horror as her protector became a great sweet statue. Akko began to see no way out of this situation. Even if she became a mouse to run faster, Buu could easily spot her. But whether or not she was an ant, she felt helpless all the same.

“That Majin…” Aladdin grit his teeth in anger. “I can use my Genie Lamp to undo his spells, but—AAAAGH!” He was struck by Zeus’s lightning.

“Buu tired of playing.” the Majin said furiously. “Give Buu Akko.”

“NEVER!” Ursula cast a weaker explosive spell before running up to behead Buu with her lightsaber, but she was PUNCHED in the face with such force that it flung her miles across the field. 

“HO CHICKITY!” Lucky proclaimed, using oversized binoculars to see into the distance. “Buu just splooped all da dang doops inta poops! Too bad them jingity djinns can’t kill worth a clothespin. So, here’s mah propo’, JoJo.” The leprechaun extracted multiple guns and formed them into a sniper rifle, training it in the school’s direction. “I go’ kill a ho fo’ every mo’ Akko don’t show.” He aimed the gun on a frozen Wangari first and began to count in what they assumed were numbers: “Wiggity. Tooty-fruity. Trifilly. Flip-flawp. Fignutin’. Seesaw Sally. Sanky Hang Pang!”

“STOP!” At that instant, Akko seemed to burst out of thin air, raising her arms in defeat. “I can’t take it, anymore! Please stop hurting them! Please!”

“AKKO!” Diana and Ursula screamed in great anger and fear.

With a smirk, Buu GRIPPED Akko by the neck and WHOOSHED across the field. Diana mounted her broom, allowing Ursula on as well as they boosted after them.

In no time, Buu returned to the school grounds, dropping Akko on her front and pinning her down. “Grandma! Buu brought food!”

 _“AKKO?!”_ The excited queen abandoned her fight with the Charion and jumped off Prometheus. _“FINALLY! My sweet Akko!”_

Suddenly, Buu was trapped inside a floating bell, pulling him off Akko. “Run, Miss Kagari!” ordered Headmistress Holbrooke, using her wand to bash a magic gong. This caused the bell to **_DOOOOOONG!_** , causing Buu’s body to vibrate furiously, feeling as if his very eardrums were beating his brain to a pulp.

Sasha Blouse jumped off the _Clam_ , about to cut the bell with her giant sword, but the Amazon was bound in magic ropes by Professor Finnelan. “You didn’t think a cheap candy spell was enough to hold us, did you?!”

“You’re just lucky I prepared this antidote ahead of time.” Sucy said as she poured a white, mint-smelling potion on the frozen students, melting the chocolate off their bodies. Pawtucket Pat tried to catch Sucy in a large beer hand, but Professor Lukić threw a liquid nitrogen potion up to freeze the Beer Logia completely.

“Professor Finnelan, watch out!” cried Barbara. Everyone faced up, seeing what looked to be a massive balloon at first. However, upon closer inspection, it was Hisoka, having inflated his arm by blowing air into his thumb, whilst the left arm still had Barbara tied.

“Gum-Gum Elephant Gun!” The giant fist blasted down as Finnelan drew a quick Protego, which nearly cracked under Hisoka’s strength.

“AAAAGH!” Hisoka felt an unbearable, searing pain against his back: Hannah England had dropped on him from her broom, wearing a black and red dress that seemed like the molten ground of a volcano.

“So, do you like my Magma Gown?!” Hannah remarked, sweating greatly from the heat. “It really takes your breath away, huh?”

Hisoka crashed on the ground, releasing Barbara and bending his arm back to punch Hannah off. His gummy body was scorched and melted where Hannah hugged him. Ernesto Taco threw meteors down at the teachers, but the Tostarenan was stabbed from all directions by bladed broomsticks, controlled by Professor Nelson.

 _“AKKOOOOO!”_ Queen Sherry stomped toward her standing prey with arms raised, but the Grand Charion grabbed her comparatively little arms.

“AKKO, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” Amanda shouted.

“Let Mama go!” Prometheus fumed, blowing pink flames onto the Charion.

To his surprise, all the flames were being absorbed into Alibaba’s sword. “Did I mention my Amol Saiqa can suck in flames?! Have a closer look, Sunny!” He used Rocket Boost to fly up and STAB Prometheus, the sun crying as his body shrank. He barely flew away with what sliver of size he had left. “Gotta admit, this was a hefty amount of heat you gave me. I think it’s time for a STORM CUTTER!” With one terrific slash, a road of pink flames flew to the sky, and Zeus cried as his overshadowing body was split down the middle.

“Sherry, please!” Akko yelled. “Please, I don’t want to lose my soul! You and I are friends! I saved your life, I gave you the magic show you wanted! Why can’t you let me live?!”

_“SO… DELICIOUS! AKKOOOOOO!”_

_“CHARION DRILL!”_ The Charion’s shield morphed into a mighty drill, driving it into Sherry with extreme force. The queen grabbed her Soul Quartz, mixing it with Psychic Chi as she held the drill back.

“Akko, it’s pointless!” Diana shouted, having just arrived with Ursula. “She’s not going to stop until she has you! Please, you have to get away! You have to live!”

 _ **“DEAD END MUSICAL!”**_ A powerful diamond shield BURST from Sherry’s heart!

“AKKO!” Ursula dove off the broom, grabbing her student and ducking. The Diamond Shield left a small gap meant exclusively to trap Akko, with Ursula being an unintended extra. Everything else, including the Grand Charion, the teachers, and even Goomnut were completely pushed out.

 _“Akko… my precious Akko…”_ Sherry began to cry. _“I can’t lose you… Akko…”_

The aforementioned gap had sealed, leaving absolutely no way out of this diamond prison. The Charion punched the diamond with every last ounce of strength it could muster. _With the amount of Psychic Chi Her Majesty is using, this barrier won’t last long._ Goomnut thought. But there is no way to escape from it until it falls.

The crying queen stomped toward her helpless prey. Akko remained still in the warming arms of her teacher. She knew there was no way Ursula would give up her student. She was willing to defend Akko like a mother… and because of that, her life could be nearing its end. _There’s got to be something I can do. Anything. …_ Akko put her hand to her Shiny Rod. _What if I use the Seventh Word of Arcturus? I can absorb the energy from everyone in the area, and then me and Ursula could destroy her with a Shiny Ballista. I know I vowed never to kill, but if I don’t, Ursula will die. …But if we DO kill her, then the pirates will destroy Luna Nova. And it’ll all be my fault._

Cassiopea had donned a white mask, morphing into an adult form, which she used to kick Diana out of the air. The Grand Charion tried to drill into the diamond, but an escaped Buu sent the colossus flying with a mighty punch. “Useless machine.” Goomnut smirked. “Its Power Level of 15,000 was matched with Majin Buu’s. And yet, it thought it could defeat Great Grandma’s Power Level of 23,000?!”

_They’re all getting hurt because of me. Queen Sherry came to Luna Nova in the first place because she loved my magic. It’s all my fault…It’s all my fault…_

_“At long last… My sweet… beautiful SOUL!”_ Sherry was crying tears of joy. There was no way this pathetic teacher could keep her from her savory meal.

“PLEASE don’t take her! Don’t take Akko away from us!” Ursula pled. “She has so much to live for. Please don’t take away her future!”

_“Soul… or… LIIIIIFE?”_

“…Then please.” Ursula released Akko and walked forward, raising her arms to the queen. “Take my soul. Please spare Akko and take me instead.”

“Professor Ursula…” Akko’s fear and guilt began to rise to its peak.

The teacher’s soul began to wriggle out of her body. She turned to Akko, smiling like a proud mother. “You’ll be an amazing witch, Akko… I know you will. No matter what you do… I was so honored to be your teacher.”

 _“No…”_ It was clear that her mentor had no intention of moving. The ravenous queen would soon swipe her hand and end the life of the one who inspired her. In only a second, a warm, guiding light would leave Akko’s life.

_“Soul… POCUS!”_

“Good-bye, Akko…”

“NO!!” Tears flying behind her, Akko leapt forth and pushed her teacher away with all strength and speed. Queen Sherry’s mighty hand snatched Akko’s soul.

The world turned dark to Ursula’s eyes. It turned dark to Diana, Lotte, and all the others. Ursula rushed to catch her body… but it was too late.

Akko’s joyful pink soul squirmed in Sherry’s hand. Tears leaked from the queen’s eyes. _“Akko… oh, Akko…”_ The queen puckered her lips and very slowly slurped Akko up like a precious smoothie. _“Sluuuuuurrrrrrp…”_ The taste was beyond anything she ever dreamed. So many delicious emotions, so much joy and sadness and anger, all mixed in with passionate dreams and heartache. Sherry had never tasted a soul this rare. It was so innocent and imaginative and beautiful.

The queen smacked her lips and brushed her tongue around her mouth, savoring every ounce of taste. “Akko… you are _my_ friend, too.” She placed a hand to her diamond heart. The Diamond Shield faded away, and the pirates ceased fighting. “Don’t leave me, Akko… don’t leave me…”

“AKKO!” Diana raced to her friend with tears flying.

“No.” Lotte cupped hands over her own mouth to restrain her screams, but her glasses were becoming wet and blurry. “No no no. Please no. Please.”

“Oh, Akko! You fill me with so much life!” Queen Sherry danced and smiled to the sunny heavens, grinning like a carefree child. “One hundred years of dreams and love! Your soul will be the heart of Sweetopia! I’ll take it and make the most wonderful world! A world where all races can live in bliss! And if nobody wishes to live there, they’ll die!”

_“A beautiful soul~ A beautiful soul~ O Little Witch, stay in our hearts, forever~”_

Amanda wanted nothing more than to murder all those singy, happy objects. She felt so much anger and she wanted to unleash it all on all these pirates.

And for a moment, Diana almost lost her calm composure. Looking up at the queen, she realized… her heart was exposed again. Her beating Diamond was heard by all. This would be the perfect chance… to cast another magic sword spell and impale the old hag. For that time, Diana didn’t care about breaking her vow, not if it could get Akko back. But if she had… then Akko’s sacrifice would have been for nothing.

“Now, wasn’t that simply easy?” Goomnut asked. “Do you see how much unnecessary death we just avoided? Perhaps I underestimated that girl.”

Amanda glared at the Goomba, clenching her teeth so hard they almost cracked. …Then, an idea struck her: “Boy, Queen Sherry, I bet you could sure go for a cake right now.” Goomnut choked on his breath.

“Oh, the cake! I almost forgot about the cake. What a wonderful way to follow up such a meal. Where is my cake?” She looked around. “Come to think of it, why aren’t we on Sweetopia?”

“W-We came here in pursuit of Akko, Your Majesty.” Goomnut responded. “And the cake… er, eh…”

“HE LET THE KREMLING KREW TAKE IT!” Amanda shouted.

“YOU-!!”

 _“Gooooomnuuuuuuut.”_ The nut-head’s chocolate body turned pale as the queen loomed over him imposingly. _“That girl is only joking, right? Surely you caught those traitorous relatives?”_

“Uh, I…I-I-I…”

“Memoria Bibendum!” Hannah cast the Memory Recall Spell at Goomnut and displayed a screen from his mind.

 _“FORGET THE CAKE! FORGET THE CAKE! FORGET THE CAKE!”_ The same clip repeated.

“N-NO! I-It’s not what it looks like!” Goomnut panicked.

_“If that cake isn’t in my belly by the end of my birthday… you’ll pay with your life.”_

That flushed all the color out of him. “ALL PIRATES!!” He zipped over and made a great leap to the castle. “HEAD TO K. ROOL’S KEEP AND GET THE CAKE!!”

Queen Sherry leapt onto Zeus and returned to her castle. Within moments, the castle teleported away, and all the ships zipped to the sky in a hurry.

Lotte was still crying, Barbara hugging her for comfort. “Wait.” They looked up when Ursula spoke. “Her heart… it’s still beating.”

 _“… … …”_ Akko’s eyelids rose, exposing the lower half of her murky red eyes. _“Professor…”_

“Sh…She’s alive…” Diana spoke in a low breath.

“Oh, thank God, thank you thank you.” Lotte gasped with folded hands. Her heart couldn’t take any more stress.

 _“…Hey… I guess I’m okay.”_ Akko smiled, very weakly holding up her right hand. _“That wasn’t so bad… it wasn’t…”_ Her voice was so low that Akko must have been using the most minimal amount of breath to speak. As if she was making very careful use of what little breath remained.

“Akko… why…” Tears dripped from Ursula’s red eyes. “Why didn’t you let me? I’ve already had my time in the spotlight. It was your turn. Why?”

_ “Because… it was my soul she wanted. Not yours. It wouldn’t have worked. You would have died for nothing…” _

“Akko…” She was by far the bravest witch Ursula has ever known.

“Of course…” Lotte whispered. “Queen Sherry didn’t take her actual soul… she took her life force.”

“One hundred years of life.” Diana recalled the queen’s words. “It’s true that mages can live a couple decades longer than normal humans… but Akko is a Muggle-born. She may not have such a luxury… and factoring in her Magic Deficiency…”

Akko’s knees shook as she tried to bend them back and set her feet on the ground. Sadly, her body felt like it weighed tons. Her bones felt like the heaviest stone, and her eyes felt like they haven’t slept in years. All the energy and stamina her little heart could muster were useless. “Akko, please.” Diana pled, helping Ursula hold her. “Please conserve your strength. You’re barely holding onto life.”

_“I’m sorry, guys… I’m sorry I made you waste all this time for me. I’m sorry for putting you in danger.”_

“It’s okay, Akko.” Ursula spoke calmly, smiling to ease her student’s heart. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll take you to your room so you can rest.”

She, Diana, and Jasminka helped carry the powerless girl to the school. The students and staff opened a path for them to walk. Akko’s eyes felt heavy as she rolled them left and right, seeing looks of pity on everyone. Wangari was not in the mood for interviews like she usually was, and Akko was glad to see Molly wishing for the best. There were tons of students whose names Akko didn’t know, except for some that she sometimes talked to. She had a tense relationship with most of the teachers, especially Finnelan, and there was a time when all of these students doubted Akko’s skill, even after her recent feats. She wondered what was circling through their minds, which students looked at her with genuine concern or just pity. How many of them were disappointed that this wannabe witch amounted to just nothing?

**Avalar KND Moonbase**

“And that pretty much sums up what just happened.” Alibaba finished recapping the story to Griffin Firecrystal. “Aladdin is working to free all the people in town from Buu’s spell.”

“And Numbuh Try is still alive?” Griffin asked.

“Yeah, but she’s… looking pretty grim. Even healing spells didn’t seem to fix her any.”

“Sigh… Based on the reports from other KNDs, it sounds like the Four Emperors are becoming more serious. We can’t leave them alone, anymore. As for Great Grandma…”

The Supreme Leader headed to the Global Tactical Station. “This is Supreme Leader Numbuh 1,000 C to all sectors. Due to recent events regarding the Big Mom Pirates, the S-ranked criminal Queen Sherbet Linlin has been deemed an extreme threat. Operatives are given permission to kill… if, at all, possible.”

**Chocolatown; Lala’s Mansion**

“Oh, Terry… I can’t wait until we get married!” MaKayla said, lovingly embracing her friend in the dark of his room. “I always panic over seeing someone’s blood… but yours is so tasty. Thank you for helping me overcome my fear…”

“It’s… m-my pleasure… Kayla…”

 _“Aren’t you two just cute together?” Hisoka asked with a creepy smile. “I sure wish_ I _could get to kiss you like that. Still, if you don’t go along with this wedding plan… Grandma says I get to marry her instead.”_ And he licked his smooth lips.

“Sigh…” Terry merely sat still as his friend continued to fondle him. He desperately prayed for a way out of this, but his friends were captured and his parents were memory wiped. “Well, George, you still think Suki is our guiding Light now?”

**Akko’s Room**

Hannah changed Akko into her pajamas with magic as she was lain on her bed. Her eight friends guarded her with worried hearts. Will-o’-chan hugged himself to the left of Akko’s chest, feeling her weak heartbeat. _Thump… … Thump… …_ The spirit beat in rhythm with her heart.

“How long do you think she has?” Lotte asked.

“I’m… not sure.” Diana sighed. “She’s 17 years old… and after losing 100 years, she is as frail as 117 years old. It all depends…”

“Diana.” Hannah got close to her ear and whispered. “This… might be your last chance to tell her, you know?”

Diana glanced at her with tears welling up. She wouldn’t try to deny her true feelings. She walked over to her bedridden friend. Her face was always so vibrant and lively, and her crimson eyes shone with true passion. It hurt so much to see Akko in such a powerless state. “Akko…”

_ “Diana… I…I don’t want to die. I don’t… Not like this. Otherwise… people will hate magic. If I die just for making someone happy… what kind of message is that? Please…Please, there must be something…” _

Akko was right. She was guilty of nothing except delivering the magic show that she promised. She succeeded in making Queen Sherry feel friendship and warm emotions. No matter what her grades were in class, she has brought this school miracles. And without her, this school would flood with darkness and misery. Even if they were the only ones who realize this. “Akko…” Diana softly touched her pale cheek. It was always so cute when Akko flushed with embarrassment or frustration. “You are the most wonderful witch… and I would be happy to share my life with you.”

Share her life… Diana meant this in the most long-term way possible. She wanted to share her life with Akko forever. _Share my life…_ And yet, she wondered if such a thing were possible. Diana lifted her head, swallowing her emotions and returning to the calm and focused aura everyone knew so well.

“Diana…” Lotte spoke as their leader left the room.

She walked all the way to her own room and found a book about healing spells. She flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for. With that, she returned to Akko’s room. “My mother told me about all kinds of medical spells and forms of healing. I just remembered one of them in particular: it’s called Life Transfusion.” She opened the book and showed them an image of a magic circle. “Often times, mothers give birth to children with weak hearts. These children were bound to die in about a year, or perhaps much less. So, the mothers or fathers use their magic to transfer their life force onto the child. Naturally, this decreases their own life span.”

“So… we could do that?” Amanda asked with a glimmer of hope, mixed with worry, in her eyes.

“Unfortunately, it only works if you share blood with the subject. And Akko is the only mage in her family.”

The friends bowed their heads. Their glimmer of hope was merely an illusion. _“What about… Sheila?”_ The friends whipped around at the sound of Akko’s whisper. Though light was fading from her eyes, she had enough to sport a quirky smile. _“When I fought Sheila… we sure spilled a lot of blood. It got all over the ground… heh…heh…”_

Amanda forced a snicker. “Yeah, it’s too bad Sheila isn’t a witch, you big dummy.”

“Besides, if it were that easy,” Sucy inferred, “we’d just have to take some of Akko’s blood and put it in a jar with ours.”

“… … …” Just the idea that it could be that easy would make Akko want to try. So, what’s to stop Diana from trying it, too? “Sucy, get a jar and some syringes.”

The potion witch gasped and was quick to follow her order. She extracted blood from Akko’s hand and Diana’s, dripping them both into the same vial. Diana then began to draw the circle as depicted in the book on the floor. Afterwards, she lifted Akko and set her in the circle. “I’ll start by giving you one year of my life force.” She drew a ‘1Y’ on the bottom of the circle. “Okay…” She held her wand in both hands and focused on Akko. The weakened girl had opened her eyelids a tad more, with just a very tiny glimmer of hope. “By my power and my will, I bless unto you my life, and pray that your future is bright.”

They expected something to happen, at least for a light to appear on her wand. “…Sigh, nothing.” Diana huffed in anger. Again, their hopes were shot down.

“W-Wait.” Barbara spoke next. “Maybe the book is talking about wizard blood classes. What if the same type of wizard has to share blood? Maybe a Muggle-born has to do it.”

“Yeah!” Hannah agreed. “And, I know Akko takes priority, but since we’re still missing life force too, you could test it on us, Diana. Since we’re purebloods like you.”

“Very well. At this point, we shouldn’t turn down any idea.”

With that, Jasminka lifted Akko back onto her bed as Hannah took her place on the circle. “For now, I think we’ll skip the blood-drawing part.” Diana figured, focusing her wand. “Here it goes…” With that, she repeated the same phrase she had used previously.

For a moment, no one expected anything to happen. It may have just been wishful thinking. …Then, Diana’s wand began to glow. Akko’s eyelids lifted again at the sight of it. A small green light traveled from Diana’s heart, through the wand, and slowly floated into Hannah. The latter felt a slight tickly feeling, as if the extra year of life were settling itself in with her nerves.

“Oh my God, it worked.” Hannah said.

“Then… we just need Constanze to use it on Akko!” Amanda realized. “She’s a Muggle-born, too!”

“That may be so.” Diana followed. “But she is required to speak the spell clearly and concisely. She is good at nonverbal magic, but that cannot help her here.”

“Mmmm…” Constanze bowed her head in shame. It’s clear there was nothing good to come from her stutter.

“We’re on the right track, at least.” Lotte smiled, her fears beginning to dwindle from this growing ray of hope. “We just need to find another Muggle-born.”

“Leave that to me.” Diana decided, leaving the room again.

“Mmm… I’m sorry-ry-y-y, Ak-k-ko.” Constanze said.

Akko sported a grin, her right hand shaking as she raised it with a thumbs-up. Seeing how hard they were trying to think of a solution seemed to put just a tiny hint of life back inside her.

Diana went to the Nine Witches’ Hall, where the other professors were gathered. “You want a Muggle-born to use a Life Transfusion on Akko?” Finnelan asked.

“Yes. I’m positive it could save her. I considered Constanze, but her disability may make the task difficult. …Professor Ursula, what’s your blood class?”

“Mmm, half-blood. Sorry.” she replied regretfully.

“Here is a list of all the Muggle-borns in our school.” Headmistress Holbrooke said, giving Diana the list. “But we can’t promise that any of them will agree to this plan.”

Diana skimmed the list for a moment… her eyes perked up at a particular name. “Well, there is someone who may.” On that note, she left the room.

“I think I’ll go with you.” Ursula offered, leaving as well.

“Whatever she’s planning, I hope it works.” Professor Badcock said. “If people find out about this mess, it’ll leave a serious black mark on Luna Nova. And if a student dies because of it, they’ll shut us down!”

“I’m more worried about losing such a valuable and dedicated student.” Holbrooke replied. “However, I suppose we should write a letter to Miss Kagari’s family. They deserve to know.”

Diana and Ursula returned to the West Dormitory. Diana knocked on a door, and it was answered by the very person she sought: a dark-skinned girl with pale blue hair covering her right eye, in a similar manner to Sucy. “Hello, Diana. …Is Akko, okay?” asked Molly McIntyre.

“Yes. In fact, I wanted to ask you something, Molly.”

After a brief explanation, Molly followed them up to Akko’s room. “Hmmm… one year, huh?” She observed the ‘1Y’ on the circle. “It’s a safe number to practice, but if you expect good results, we should go a little higher.” She erased the ‘1’ and wrote ‘50’ in its place.

“Molly, that isn’t unnecessary.” Ursula said worriedly. “At the very least, give her five years. That will keep her alive long enough until we can get her life force back.”

_ “Yeah… Molly… I’ll be fine… with at least one year…” _

“This school needs you, Akko. Whether or not you choose to fight the pirates again, you’ll need as much strength as possible. After all, you make us all happy.” Molly gave a smile. “Besides, you all helped me get my life back. Why shouldn’t I share it with you?”

Everyone looked to Akko for her answer. The red-eyed witch returned the smile and replied in a whisper, _“Thank you… Molly.”_

Jasminka set her on the circle again as Molly readied her wand. “By my power and my will, I bless unto you my life, and pray that your future is bright.”

An even brighter light shone from Molly, and a greater body of life force traveled from the wand to Akko’s brittle body. The feeling of the extra life entering her felt like inhaling the world’s largest air bubble in one big huff. Akko felt like she were a baby, breathing for the first time all over again. Her chest felt congested, so she held onto it, eyes tearing as she tried to take small breaths. “Akko!” Lotte gasped, fearing that this plan was backfiring.

This lasted for a few more minutes, for Akko’s body needed the time to get adjusted to the life force. She remained calm and firm, her breath consistent as she waited patiently for the sensation to stop. And before she knew it… it all stopped. Akko kept her hand to her chest, feeling her heartbeat returning to a normal flow.

Her legs shook a bit as she planted her feet to the floor and stood up. “…It worked.” Akko studied her hands as joy returned to her features. “I’m going to be okay! YAAAAY!” She jumped and kicked her legs out.

“Akko.” Ursula said, holding up a weakened Molly.

“Oh…” Akko walked up and embraced her in a hug. “Molly, thank you. I’m so grateful. You’ve given me a second chance.”

“It was my pleasure, Akko.”

“It didn’t hurt you too badly, did it?”

“The more years you choose to contribute,” Diana explained, “the more magic you will exhaust. It’s natural to feel fatigued, but you will recover with rest.”

“That’s good. So, what will you do now, Akko?” Molly asked.

At this, Akko felt all eyes on her again. It was times like this she really felt like the leader. “Hmm…” She released Molly and turned away in thought. “You know… I really thought Queen Sherry could’ve been our friend. But no matter how crazy you are, real friends don’t try to eat your soul. She’s a monster and she needs to be stopped. For Luna Nova’s sake, too. And after I get my life force back from her, I’ll be sure to return yours, Molly.” She faced her friend with a smile. “We all deserve to live as long as possible!”

“We could always hope the Big Moms and the Kremlings kill each other.” Sucy inferred.

“Even so… as Kids Next Door operatives, it is our duty to bring these pirates to justice.” Diana said. “And I have a feeling… this is only the beginning of our battle with them.”

**Sometime later**

By the time twilight arrived, peace and calmness returned to the hearts of all the students. “So, Akko was okay after all, huh?” Blair asked.

“See, I knew with Diana helping her, we had nothing to worry about.” Avery remarked snidely.

“I can’t believe I was worried about her.” Alma followed.

“I wonder what she even did to make the queen so angry?” Teresa said. “Maybe it was when she jumped on her nose. She has no respect for personal space, even for royalty.”

Akko was going for a merry walk around the outside of the school, a vibrant smile plastered on her lively face. “Hi, Mary!”

“Hi, Akko. Are you okay?”

“Sure am! All thanks to Molly!”

“You sure recovered quickly.” Sarah Bernhardt said. “Were you just faking it so she would go away?”

“Nope, I was honest-to-goodness life-drained. But thanks to Molly, I’m saved!” She did a little twirl. “I just love being alive!”

“Miss Kagari!” She flinched from a commanding voice that could only come from Finnelan. She fearfully turned to face her least-favorite teacher. “I’m glad that you survived, but do you really think you deserve to boast with another student’s life force? Outside your group, I can’t believe that any student would be so generous with someone like you. You should be very grateful.”

“Hey, I’m grateful all the time.” Akko replied with folded arms and a furrowed face. “And I’ll be as grateful as I want, whenever I want.”

“Be that as it may-”

“And wherever, however, whyever, and to whoever-”

“Silence! I still blame you for all this happening in the first place.”

“Yeah, you blame me for everything.”

“Only because I’m always right. But if there’s one thing I can say about you, you’re willing to take responsibility to fix your mistakes. But Miss Kagari… DO YOU REALIZE how much trouble we could be in if we allowed a student to die for our sake?! If you even think about sacrificing yourself again, I’ll see that you repeat your final year!”

“Okay, okay! I promise I’ll let the pirates destroy our school next time.”

“Ugh, reasoning with you is impossible. Well, I wonder what your parents will have to say about what’s happened.” Finnelan turned to leave.

“Uh… my parents?”

“The headmistress thought it best to write a letter to your family about the events. That’s not a problem, is it?”

“N-No, not really.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, I mailed them about the party, anyway. They might’ve been watching the news.”

“Well, good. Because there’s nothing we can do to stop them from pulling you out of this school.” Those were her last words.

Having overheard the conversation, Lotte and Sucy approached their friend. “Akko, your parents wouldn’t pull you out, would they?” Lotte asked.

“Well, if you were in my shoes, what would your parents do?”

“Uh… I guess you have a point. But what are your parents like, anyway?”

“They’re really nice, actually. They always gave me everything I wanted.”

“So, you were spoiled.” Sucy figured.

“…” Akko merely looked away, frowning.

“Sucy.” Lotte stated in reprove.

“Well, I guess that’s one good thing that can come outta this!” Akko’s face was beaming again. To her friends’ curiosity, she faced up at the New Moon Tower with passion in her eyes. “When my parents hear about this… they’ll be surprised to see how much I’ve grown up!”

 

**So, let’s flash back to _Sector MG_ for a moment:**

Alicia got down and hugged her son (Oliver). “Sweetheart… I never wanted to tell you this, but… when you were born, you didn’t cry. Your heart was weak, too. Your father was already gone, but I wanted you to live. So… I used a spell to give you half of my life force. It was just enough to make sure you would live a full life, and I would be able to raise you.”

**Isn’t the foreshadowing in this series just delicious? It’s also kind of similar to _Harry Potter_ , where he sacrifices himself, but he survives… only difference is, poor Akko wasn’t getting out of it unscathed. That’s the cute thing about her, though, she always needs help! ^^ In fact, I think Chapter 3 of _MG_ kind of foreshadowed this whole scenario. As for Molly, she’s from the _LWA_ game, _Chamber of Time_. The thing is, I actually had a dozen different options for the conclusion, but you can find those on the Wikia. And as you can see, there is a lot of unresolved conflicts in this story that will naturally carry on to _Pirate Wars_.**

**But anyways, what did YOU guys think of this story?! Which part was your favorite, who was your favorite Big Mom Pirate or division, which province in Sweetopia would you live, and was Lucky not the best character in this story?! (Besides Akko?!) But it isn’t time for the wars, yet: Sherry Linlin is merely the first of the Four Emperors! And I wonder who could be next?**

**…**

The Hungry Men pulled a gigantic wagon into a vault, carrying none other than the prized Linlin Family Cake. As it was left to shine in the center of this glittering treasury, King Kroctus Rool gazed up at its marvel. He could just imagine the look of fury on Queen Sherry’s face right now. It made him so happy that he felt like singing!

_It’s great to be a king_

_I seem to have a knack *sticks an arm into a pile of coins*_

_Of taking everything I want *lifts the coins as they all spill out except one*_

_And giving nothing back *he flipped the coin up: Knightbrace tried to catch it, until Kroctus whipped him away with his tail*_

_Everything is mine *raises an envelope with a Smash Bros. icon*_

_I finally have control *wraps an arm around Butcher*_

_Why excuse me…_

_I hope I don’t sound too droll *releases Butcher as the latter eye-rolls*_

_Now that I have the power_

_This is my finest hour *marches out of the vault*_

_Nothing in this realm can stop me now! *the vault sealed as the knob spun and locked: it looked like the Kremling Jolly Roger*_

_FOOLS, while I watch you cower *stomps and shakes the room, scaring the villains*_

_THIS is my finest hour_

_Bait you on my hook_

_Just like a worm!_

K. Rool sat himself on his throne, activating his hologram chamber as Queen Sherry’s image displayed.

_Before I crush you like a bug_

_Come here and give me a hug!_

_It gives me so much JOY to watch you squiiiirrrrrm!_

_“MWEH HEH HEH har!”_

**The story continues in _Operation: REVERT_.**


End file.
